Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Taliban apologists and the conspiracy theorists

I never fail to be amazed by the arguments put forth by the conspiracy theorists and the Taliban apologists. The conspiracy theorists amaze me because they say crazy improbable stuff that would make any sane, self thinking man, woman or child laugh their head off.

Exhibit 1:
From Zaid Hamid's official Facebook page
As you can clearly see a lot of people like what they're reading. No matter that it makes no sense. Has no meaning. Sounds really stupid and lame. Yet, these conspiracy theories still attract a lot of people because they provide a means of blaming our terrible problems on somebody who is not us. It is too difficult to acknowledge our mistakes because acknowledging them would mean we would have to fix ourselves, and fixing ourselves simply isn't something we like doing.

Then there's the second kind of people I abhor. I call them the Taliban apologists. What are the Taliban apologists? I'm glad you asked. The Taliban apologists are people who instead of condemning the barbarianism of the Taliban instead try to find ways of defending them by portraying their victims as having deserved what they got.

For example:

Malala Yousafzai is a 14 year old girl from Swat. One day on her way home from school, two Taliban stopped her van, asked who she was then shot her in the head. In the process of attempting to assassinate Malala, they ended up injuring two other girls as well. For the common man this would be it. This would be enough to prove what cowards, vile and depraved animals the Taliban are. For the Taliban apologists, well nothing ever is enough.

A Taliban apologist will conjure scenarios where he will attempt to persuade you that the whole Malala shooting was fake. He will tell you that it was a ploy by the US government to force the Pakistani government to launch an operation in the tribal belt. He will tell you that the Pakistan army is a pawn in America's war. He will tell you Malala was never really shot, and that she is actually an American agent. The problem with the Taliban apologist is that he simply cannot bring himself to accept the fact that America is not somehow responsible for the ills that he is facing in his life. According to the Taliban apologist everything wrong with the world is America's fault. His bathroom tap is broken: America's fault. He has constipation: America's fault. His dog barks in the night: America's fault. Somebody steals his cow: America's fault.

Diagnosis:

The Taliban apologist needs somebody to blame for the misery he has to see everyday, and he ends up blaming America because all his life he has been told time and time again that America is the real root cause of evil; that he is perfect and he can do no wrong; that what he does is correct and what others do is wrong.

You would imagine that the Taliban apologists and conspiracy theorists would go hand in hand? Right? Wrong. You see according to the conspiracy theorists, even though everything wrong with the world is America's fault, they believe that the Taliban, the Pakistani government and anybody who doesn't believe in their garbage is an American agent.

So in essence, there argument goes something like this:

The Taliban shot Malala in the head to force the government of Pakistan to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the Pakistan military to wipe out the Taliban because somehow that will allow Obama to win the 2012 Presidential election.

To me what they're saying is:

The American agents shot an American agent to force the American agent to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the American agent to wipe out the American agents.

Even when you shove the fallacy of their arguments in their face, they will not accept it. They will then label you as an American agent and that will be the end of discussion.

This post could go on for pages but there's no point in dragging it. May Allah have mercy on Pakistan. Amen.

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