September 15, 2010

Ten Reasons to Make Angelina Jolie Our President

Simply ravishing. And mind numbing. (Photo:
1. She’s hotter than Zardari, which means the dubious episode of Zardari – Palin encounter can finally be replaced with lusty images of Brangelina.

2. She’s an action hero who has kicked more men in the balls than I can remember. Or count.

3. She’s rich and she doesn’t have any qualms about spending her money to help those in need.

4. Her kids’ names (Maddox [awesome!], Zahara, Shiloh, Pax, Vivienne and Knox) are so much more cooler than Bakhtawar, Asifa, and Bilawal.

5. She can act like a double agent [Salt anyone?] which is great because we have to perform a balancing act with the US, Afghanistan, India and China. And we always fail with our current political line up.

6. She isn’t having a mid life crisis and appears she never will. Although in hindsight people who think about her probably never get out of their mid life crises…

7. She has no qualms about showing skin or wearing a burqa. Two diametrically opposed extremes but like the true superhero that she is, she fulfills them beautifully [her visit to Khyber-Pakhtookhwa being a case in point].

8. Her Presidency will lead to utter calm and peace to prevail in Pakistan because the liberals and the extremists will be too busy ogling at her when she addresses the nation to really worry about blowing things up, or eating out.

9. Whenever she will decide to take a stroll in Islamabad, flowers will blossom and the birds will chirp.

10. She’s got an Arabic tattoo on her arm which just shows that she prefers Muslims to Freemasons and consequently, the next great terror attack will involve a video message from Osama-bin-Laden sticking his tongue out at the Western Imperialists and saying: We got Angie baby, yeah!