Why I logged off Twitter for good: A personal reckoning with its descent into hate

Shout into the void, get zero likes, and still somehow feel attacked. But maybe zero likes is better than drowning in hate.

I haven’t posted on Twitter for a couple of years now; the majority of people that I knew on that platform have either abandoned it, or jumped ship. Including myself. I’m here, posting this here, instead of over there. And I’ve finally figured out why — Twitter seems like a dystopian hellscape. It’s a collection of the worst people, anonymous by design, shouting into their infernal echo chambers. It’s racist, xenophobic, and despairing. There’s too much hate being platformed on it in the name of free speech. It was always going to end up like this, but there was always this hope that maybe — just maybe — Twitter will survive the X-ification that Elon Musk unleashed upon it. How naive, we all were.

Every time I open it nowadays, it’s the same version of talking points over and over again — Muslims are terrorists, Islam is a cancer, brown folks are replacing European descendants. There are giant mega threads dedicated to utterly insane and xenophobic discourse about how “immigrants” have made areas “no-go”. It sounds unhinged and insane, but the collective echo chamber effect reinforces these beliefs over and over again, until they become part of your infernal and rabid psyche. And honestly, it’s a chicken and egg situation. Like Mehdi Hasan says, there was always a racism problem in the West, but it was hidden because it's common courtesy to not be a fucking race baiter. Well guess what? In the neofascist age that we’re living through, it’s become quite fashionable (and lucrative) to be an open racist and bigot. And it’s not just anon accounts fanning these flames, it’s congressmen too.

Of course this whole discourse is a pivot to distract away from their shortcomings, and how pathetic they really are. Charlie Kirk, Ted Cruz, Randy Fine to name but a few, are now so severely spewing Islamophobia, that it’s become their whole personality. They’re doing it because they don’t want people talking about their moral failings and shortcomings. They keep getting reamed in, but they double down. Because as I said earlier, it is now advantageous to be racist and xenophobic. The world is making that pivot, and these bigots want to get in on the ground floor.

The world is scary, but logging onto Twitter makes it feel 50 times worse, because all you’re subjected to repeatedly is how much you’re hated because you’re not a European descendant with the correct “genes”. The skin of your color is the defining characteristic of whether you’re worthy of any consideration, or if your value is relegated to the “subhuman” category. The whole setup is so broken. Instead of being hopeful and optimistic, we’re entering a doom spiral where everything feels hopeless and pessimistic. I don’t know how and where this cycle will end. In the meantime, log off Twitter. The xenophobia won’t magically go away, but at least you won’t have to worry about living with an existential crisis everyday.

Why I do not support Imran Khan

Azadi March 2014

I do not believe Imran Khan has the skills, or the fortitude to lead this country. The only thing people keep saying in his defense is that we've tried the rest, now we should give him a chance. But he had a chance. That chance is called KPK. He failed miserably.

His foreign policy has no sense or direction, his interior policy is extremely dangerous for the country and his emotional tantrums make him unfit to be an administrator. And because he's made the same tall claims that the rest of our political gentry has made, you can be rest assured he'll fall even more spectacularly than the Sharifs (if they fall of course). By comparison the Sharifs policy of non confrontational politics and reconciliation is a refreshing and welcome change.

Imran Khan's only calling for the resignation of Sharifs because he wants to be the next prime minister. That is it. I would've agreed with him, heck even supported him if his so called freedom march was for accountability of the Lahore genocide; was for electoral reforms; was for drafting new local body rules and elections; was for re-elections in the districts that were found to be rigged (so far all of PTI's petitions have been rejected because they couldn't prove their allegations).

But I am not going to support a pied piper who's deluded himself into believing he is the rightful heir to a throne in Islamabad, and who will kill the system just so he can have his way.

The curse of the Qadri

Tahir Ul Qadri

It was around a year and a half ago that Tahir Ul Qadri was sitting in a heated bullet proof container in front of the Parliament building of Pakistan while thousands upon thousands of people froze in the cold Islamabad night outside. Back then Qadri had arrived on a similar mission to the one he’s about to embark on today - rid the country of its current rulers. He failed miserably. Not only did he let thousands suffer on his behalf, but he also did not achieve anything and left with his tail between his legs. I said at the time that Tahir Ul Qadri is not Pakistan’s promised messiah. I say it again today.

And now tomorrow he arrives with similar ambitions. Thousands of men, women and children will join him in the sweltering heat of Pakistan’s hot summer and all of them will boil under the sun while the self-promised messiah sits inside an air conditioned bullet proof container. After all, who has the time to give a rat’s ass about normal, regular people, right?

The unmistakeable irony of Tahir Ul Qadri’s mission is that he has no stake in the entire process anyway. He’s a Canadian citizen, where he resides most days of the year, and only ever comes to Pakistan on these blitzkrieg missions where he disrupts the lives of thousands of people and then leaves without achieving anything. The man is amoral; he uses religion to propagate his own nefarious designs and agendas and has no qualms about how many precious lives are lost in the process. His claims are as hollow as his gratuitous lies and his claim to fame is based on an absurd tale of deceit, corruption and dishonesty.

But I digress. As a citizen of Pakistan he has a right to protest whatever demonic cause he so chooses. On the other end of the spectrum we have the Sharif brothers who have been trying to run this country like their own private enterprise. Just one problem with that whole plan: Countries don’t work that way. On the day the Punjab police conducted a mini genocide in Model Town Lahore, the Khadim-e-Ala Shahbaz Sharif appeared on TV and said if it is proven that he had anything to do with this massacre he would resign. Of course no one took him seriously because a) he has promised to resign for things so many times it’s like a running joke now and b) as the chief minister of Pakistan’s most prosperous province there was no way in hell that this man did not know what was going on. Was he at a hair salon getting new hair plugs? I hardly think so. So by common logic, go stand in front of metro bus and let it crush you Shahbaz Sharif, you shameless lying twerp.

Saroop Ijaz in an op-ed for the Express Tribune said it brilliantly “…Mian Sahib, we stand with you for the sake of democracy, however for your own sake stand by yourself.” There is heavy truth in those words. Yes, the process of democracy is slow, painful and fragile. It takes time to yield results. But the truth is for the first time in Pakistan’s history it is at a point where we can be hopeful about its outcome. While I am no supporter of Nawaz Sharif or his ilk, I do maintain strongly that the democractic process, one that Tahir ul Qadri is trying to upend, needs to be defended at all costs. This however does not mean that the government needs to go batshit crazy because it is so scared of a pseudo preacher from Canada and his followers. If Qadri wants to protest, then let him protest. If he wants to cry out loud, then let him do that. Democracy is not a one way street. While I disagree with Qadri, I also disagree with the government’s reaction to the arrival of Qadri. The only losers of this confrontation will be us, the normal, regular people of Pakistan.

I thought things in Pakistan couldn’t get worse than the lynching of the two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb Butt, in Sialkot. However since that fateful event I have been proven wrong so many times, I have literally lost count. Selfish men who are out of touch with reality and who have larger than life egos have never been able to make wise decisions. We’re witnessing a prime example of that today.

A battle was fought, a battle was lost

If you've been following me on Twitter (if you're not you really should; I'm a delight!), you must've noticed that my tweets have a certain air of despondency about them. It's not like I choose to be sad and melancholy. It's just that the torrid sense of disgust that I find myself entertaining gets too much at times.

It would appear as if Pakistan is fighting for a lost cause and nowhere is this more apparent than on Twitter. The in your face nature of the platform just gives you an idea of how disgusted people are by the whole turn of things and on top of that, you literally sense and feel that they've simply accepted the terrible fate that awaits us all. What has happened Pakistan one might ask? But that would be a pointless question. We all know what has happened. Pakistan is overrun by besotted fools who have no inkling of what is right and what is wrong; who have no moral qualms about the people that die on their watch.

A battle was fought, a battle was lost. The people were tired, the leaders earned their ire. The sun was setting, the dark was emerging. In the darkness hyenas prowled, in their lairs the lions growled. In the distance a glimmer of hope, the glimmer of hope was a shady prop. The darkness soon engulfed them all, and in the process it created a free fall. Society soon sank to its knees, in front of the monsters they kneel and bleed. The monsters refused to move an inch, they thought breaking them was a cinch. The defenders had no choice but to abandon their forts, what could they do they were disavowed by the courts. The looming darkness shrouded all, in the darkness the screams raged tall. 

A battle was fought, a battle was lost.  

The Malaysian model: A possible solution to the sectarian menace?

An article by Zaib Liaqat.

Army personnel guard the Murree Road in Rawalpindi after sectarian clashes erupted

Recently, authorities imposed a curfew in parts of Rawalpindi after sectarian clashes erupted on Ashura day near Fawara Chowk, which left at least nine people dead and over 45 injured. The outbreak was just another example of religious intolerance in the country; the intolerance which has not been affecting a specific sect but everyone.

With this incident, Pakistan has experienced another renaissance in the sectarian violence. The violence mostly involves conflicts between members of two main sects of Islam i.e. the Sunnis and Shias - but not to forget the sub-sects of Sunnis - Barelvi and Deoband. Also, not to forget, Pakistan is the second-largest Shia population and it has good bilateral relations with Iran, the first-largest Shia population in the world. It’s regional power dynamic also vis-à-vis Saudi Arabian influences. 

These emerging sectarian tensions in Pakistan were exacerbated by geopolitical trends. The Iranian Revolution in 1979 empowered Shia Muslims in Iran, which also promoted the actualization of the sect in Pakistan. At the same time, Pakistan-based Sunni Muslim - especially Deoband organizations and madrassas - began to receive funding from Saudi Arabia and the U.S. in order to provide support and training to the Afghan fighters in the context of the anti-Soviet jihad in Afghanistan.

One can always blame regional and international powers in fueling the fire of this menace, but the question is why our nation has been so vulnerable to such schemes? We never seriously felt the dire need of comprehensive national unity in the country. Our efforts ended by banning either hate speech or the group which ignites the sectarian propaganda.

We are in desperate need to drive a strategy and government policy to create, and to promote national unity. The motive of the strategy should be to sow the seeds of goodwill and understanding in every corner of this land, only by this, will we be able to harvest the fruits of progress and prosperity. Recently I attended an International Youth Leadership Conference (IYLC) in Malaysia and got to know about an insightful work of their department for this specific purpose. The made a department to overcome this issue. Below are the five basic objectives of this department.

• Promoting a culture of peace and prosperity
• Instilling goodwill and understanding
• Building upon our shared realities
• Engaging one another to address disputes
• Resolving conflict in constructive ways

In order to achieve these objectives they promote interactions at each stage of individual life cycle by establishing a team for neighborhood watch, voluntary patrolling scheme, community mediator, creation of national unity clubs at schools and universities. It is mandatory for every Malaysian student to study subjects of ethnic relations and Asian civilizations. These steps help to promote cross cultural understanding in the country. The department also conducts community wellness programs which include youth at certain levels.

At the community level this department also encourages young and older citizens to arrange activities to empower women and to hold volunteer economic programs in order to improve the societal relationship. They are working on religious harmony programs, which involve religious leaders and community for intra and inter religious cooperation and the partnership of public religious bodies. Malaysia is culturally and ethnically a diverse country with a population of 28.6 million and this department of national unity and integration has strengthened her with each passing day, not just socially but also economically. Malaysians believe that prosperity comes with harmony and because of these efforts, Malaysia ranks 20th in the world according to the Global Peace Index whereas Pakistan ranks149th.

Agreed that challenges faced by Pakistan are not only grave but also numerous and are of a different nature than Malaysia. But, as you have heard, “united we stand divided we fall,” I believe most of our problems will be solved, when, we as nation, would act as single body. I find no harm in investing our energies and attention towards this very grave issue for the greater good.

In lieu of the above, the Islamic Ideology Council should also focus on legislating and formulating policies for cross cultural understanding. Instead of just being a nominal body, they should find common grounds, so that ethnic, sectarian, and cultural diversity should be viewed as a unique asset with significant competitive value, otherwise we are destined to fall into an abyss.

The current resurgence of sectarian violence can be traced to the rise of the Pakistani Taliban in the mid-2000s and this organization’s growing ties with militant sectarian organizations such as Lashkar-e-Jhangvi. As such, sectarian violence is arguably the most dangerous fallout for Pakistan in the US led war against terror in neighboring Afghanistan. Pakistan till date has experienced more than 1839 incidences of sectarian violence and has lost thousands of lives in these attacks.

Zaib is the minister for IT and Telecommunication at Youth Parliament Pakistan (PILDAT) who works with PAK-US Advance Youth Council and Federation of Pakistan Chambers of Commerce and Industry.

When Pakistan started dying...

People gather at the site of the Quetta blast - AFP photo

My heart cries tears of blood for the Hazaras... #ShiaGenocide, when will we wake up?... What has Pakistan come to?! Oh God!!... This country does not deserve to be called ‘PAK-istan’...

These statements, are cliches. They mean nothing. They have no purpose. They’re just uttered to make ourselves feel good about atrocities which we mostly can’t, and usually won’t do anything about. 40 Hazara Shias died yesterday. How many of us cared? 18 people died in Peshawer yesterday. How many of us bothered to find out 3 kids died in that attack? How many of us had the apathy to find out that the doctors and rescue teams ran in terror as the terrorists from LeJ told them they would be murdered if they tried to treat the “kafir” Shias who needed treatment?

I’m going to launch a protest movement on Facebook! Enough is enough!... I’m live tweeting the #HazaraGenocide... This madness needs to stop!...

Yesterday when David Cameron was standing under the open skies of Islamabad, people were dying in Peshawer. While Nawaz Sharif was saying we’re going to fight terrorism, and eradicate the electricity menace, kids were burning, screaming, dying. Did a single hair on his shiny head ruffle? Did he shudder? Did he feel a cold settling in his gut? Did he care enough to go to Peshawer and look the mother of the 6 year old girl in the eye and tell her “I’ve failed... Forgive me? We’ve all failed, forgive us all...?”

I used to think Pakistan belonged to us. It’s only recently I’ve realized Karachi belongs to A, Quetta belongs to B, and Lahore belongs to C. FATA belongs to the foreigners, and Islamabad is home to ostriches. Pakistan is not mine. Even my home is not mine. I am not a Pakistani. None of us are. Or ever were. It was a delusion that took 65 years to wear off. Abul Kalam Azad, a fierce opponent of the Pakistan movement had predicted in 1946 what would happen to us. East Pakistan would break, and the west wing of Pakistan which was to be ruled by feudal lords, and uneducated loafers would self destruct. Abul Kalam Azad said in 1946 this delusional idea of “we’re all Muslims and hence one nation” is false. We are not one nation. We are Sunni, Shia, Ahmedi, Barelvi, Wahabi, Sufi, Salafi, Hanbali, Ismaili, Alawi, Naqshbani, Uwaiysi, Qadri, Zikri and so on and so forth. And amongst these we are Takfiris, incapable of accepting the faith of another, or living by it.

Shias are kafirs, they deserve what they’re getting... Our movement is to get Shias declared as non Muslims under the constitution of Pakistan... Killing Shias is tantamount to killing the enemies of Islam, and that is what Islam tells us....

It seems such a long time ago when I was apologizing to the Shias, but even that apology sounds fake, and hollow, and distraught. Last time the Hazaras took 86 dead bodies and waited in the open cold under the star less night waiting for deliverance which never came. How many more dead bodies must they put under the open skies for us to realize what monstrosity has just ripped through us?

They say after every fall, there is a rise.... But the bottom feels like an endless pit of sweltering tar that’s pulling us deeper inside....

Pakistan started dying the day it was born. Our “Islam”, our “Musalmaniyat” was the cancer that started feeding the hate and disgust that we feel toward one another. Once upon a time it was the Christians and Hindus and Parsis who felt scared. Now we Muslims feel scared...of other Muslims. Islam’s neck was held by the throat and squeezed till its eyes popped. As a result Islam was replaced by a vicious form of barbarianism.

When Pakistan started dying, we held candlelit vigils. We made Facebook pages dedicated to the cause of defending our fallen brothers. We promised we’re all Pakistanis. But one by one we kept falling. When Pakistan started dying we tweeted non stop. We shouted, fought, lost. When it was our turn to be slaughtered like animals, we cried and we begged for mercy that was never forthcoming. They came for the Hindus. We didn’t care. They came for the Christians. We didn’t care. They came for the Ahmedis. We said Ahmedis deserve this! They slaughtered Salman Taseer. We garlanded his murderer. They came for the Shias. We turned a blind eye. They’re coming for us. And pretty soon our eyes will be popping out of our heads too.

Drone strikes kill terrorists

US drone

Yesterday a drone strike killed Wali ur Rehman Mehsud, the 2nd in command of the Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan (TTP). News reports say he was killed with his close aide Fakhr-e-Islam and 5 other Uzbek militants.

When I rejoiced at the thought of this snake being killed in a drone strike on Twitter, a very dear friend of mine pointed out that this is unacceptable and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Normally I'd be prone to agree with him. After all, which country would tolerate another country's weapon of mass destruction firing missiles into its territory?

But these are not normal circumstances. Why does the US feel it has to fire missiles into Pakistan to kill terrorists? Because a) our army does not/dare not go into North Waziristan Agency which has known hideouts of terrorists and b) the Pakistan army has given its blessing to the American drone strike program. And for good measure. Many terrorists have been killed by these very drones that the Pakistani public loves to hate. The government maintains plausible deniability (or used to; recently the US has gone solo on the program so now the government actually has no advance knowledge of a drone strike according to the NYT) and builds up anti US rhetoric which keeps the masses united in their hatred against anything to do with the West and also keeps the terrorists from sparing them (or so they hope!).

Drone strikes have taken out legions of terrorists. According to the Bureau of Investigative journalism, there have 366 drone strikes in Pakistan up to now. Between 2,537 - 3,581 people have been killed in these strikes. Of these people killed between 579 - 1,081 are civilians and children. Whatever way you cut it, that means there's between 1000 - 1500 terrorists who have been killed in these drone strikes. In war there is collateral. And this collateral, between 1000 - 1500, is very limited considering the kind of dangerous animals have been killed.

But of course collateral damage of any kind is unacceptable. And then there's the issue of Pakistan's sovereignty. Ah. The fabled sovereignty. Countries with honest leaders, and honest people have sovereignty. Countries who are willing to fight to the death to defend their honor have sovereignty. Countries who are ready to face long periods of hardship have sovereignty. Iran has sovereignty. Venezuela has sovereignty. Cuba has sovereignty. We only have tatters of indecency which are sold for peanuts. So the myth of Pakistan's sovereignty is just a smokescreen designed to fool the gullible. But let's get back to the drone strikes, and how they violate Pakistan's sovereignty. Fair enough. Why doesn't the Pakistan military shoot down some drones? If we have sovereignty, why doesn't the Pakistan Air Force take down a couple of drones? Show the world we've got some muscle, no matter how puny, and we aren't afraid to use it to defend our honor?

And when the Pakistani people talk about "sovereignty" will they please explain to me where that sovereignty goes when Uzbeks, Tajiks, Afghans and Arabs decide to recreate scenes from Call of Duty on our streets? Uzbeks, Tajiks, Afghans and Arabs are not "Pakistani" people. Will the Pakistani people explain to me how these are "our" people and yet they found it so easy to slaughter 50,000 civilians? Innocent people who had nothing to do with this heinous war? Will the Pakistani people please explain to me what "sovereignty" they talk about when motherless bastards such as Hakeemullah Mehsud order the slaughtering of 130 innocent people in the 10 days before elections just because those people "support" a certain political viewpoint? What sovereignty is there when Pakistani land is allowed to be used to devise and plan terrorism acts WITHIN Pakistan, let alone the rest of the world?

The drones have killed 3500 people. A majority of them terrorists. Terrorists have killed 50,000 people. 46,000 of whom were innocent bystanders, or first responders. 4,000 of whom were military personnel. These are FACTS.

Another point that's objectively raised is will the US allow such drone strikes to occur on its own soil? Of course it won't. It's the world's most powerful country. Other countries dare not touch it. Besides, terrorists are not known to live and train in the US. Terrorists are not known to have safe havens in the US.

Let's get something else clear as well. The love Afghanistan and Afghan Taliban narrative that's eschewed in Pakistan has bitten us on our ass many, many times now. The Afghans have so much hatred for Pakistan, it's unbelievable. Instead we've taken 3.5 million Afghans and given them homes and jobs. The Afghan Taliban, vicious beasts that they are, were the ideology that led to the birth of the Pakistani Taliban. Declan Walsh is right when he says the Pakistani Taliban are a nihilistic organization. Snakes.

Also when you read and research about the objectives of the Pakistani Taliban, it is not to wage a war against the conquering forces. It is establishment of THEIR version of Sharia which as we've clearly seen is bordering on the insane - a far cry from Islam, or any other religion for that matter. So if the Pakistani people think once the US leaves the region things will get back to normal, they are highly mistaken.

Are drone strikes in a moral grey area? Sure. But they've been helpful. They've been helpful in killing the snakes who desecrate the Pakistani people's homes, maim their children, violate their women. And for that, I am thankful for the drone strikes.

And if you still want more certainty, here's a list of the world's most wanted terrorists killed by drone strikes:

1. Nek Muhammad Wazir
2. Haitham al-Yemeni
3. Abu Hamza Rabia (3rd in command of Al Qaeda)
4. Abu Laith al-Libi
5. Abu Sulayman al-Jaziri
6. Midhat Mursi
7. Abu Ubaidah al Tunisi
8. Khalid Habib
9. Abu Jihad al-Masri
10. Rashid Rauf
11. Usama al-Kini
12. Baitullah Mehsud
13. Tohir Yoldosh (leader of Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan - what the hell was he doing in Pakistan?)
14. Ilyas Kashmiri (was supposed to be a successor to Osama bin Laden)
15. Sayeed al-Misri
16. Jamal Saeed Abdul Rahim
17. Bahadur Mansoor (responsible for the FIA HQ bombing in Lahore)
18. Hussain al-Yemeni
19. Hamza al-Jufi
20. Sheikh Fateh al-Misri
21. Wali ur Rehman Mehsud

I've obviously missed out on a lot of other terrorists killed in these strikes but this ought to prove to you their effectiveness. These terrorists are responsible for killing millions of people around the world. Also, most of these terrorists aren't even Pakistani yet were killed in Pakistan. Proves the ineptness of our security apparatus. And yet we still want to blame the US for sending in drones?

Banning CNG in "Corollas"

Toyota Corolla 2012

The title I assume won’t make sense to some. Let me explain. You see in Pakistan the lower income class buys cheap Suzukis (the Mehran… and that’s about it). The middle income class buys Corollas. The XLi and GLi variants. The upper middle class or the wealthy (so to speak) buy Honda Civics. Of late people like Kamran Shafi have taken to Twitter and derided the government for not banning CNG installations and CNG filling in Corollas. Their logic is splendidly stupid, idiotic and nonsensical. They think people who can “afford” to buy a Corolla can also afford the petrol to put in it. Again, let me explain. The price of petrol per liter is around Rs 100-105. The price of CNG per kg is around Rs 75-80. The CNG is a cheaper, cleaner, better mileage fuel which over the long run is cheaper for the masses.

While I understand the need for the government to ban CNG for all cars over 1000cc (which includes all Corollas, and this decree has already been passed by the government) and redirect it to industry and electricity generation, the narrative that Kamran Shafi and his ilk are spreading is borderline imperialistic. No people who own Corollas do not have money growing on trees in their homes. To assume that makes you an idiot. No people who buy Corollas are not the uber rich. Assuming that makes you dumb.

Instead of spewing this crap logic, a more advisable and acceptable way would have been to suggest that Corollas have bigger engines than the puny, crack, tinpot cars that Suzuki sells. Bigger engine means more fuel consumption, which in turn means more natural gas depletion.

The Kamran Shafi problem

When I pointed out this logic to Kamran Shafi he called me “a rude PTI troll”. Now I don’t have much respect for the man to begin with, but whatever iota of respect I did have left in me went south straight away. Despite being a writer, an “analyst”, it just proved what shallow personalities these self professed “important” people of Pakistan have. He is just like the elitist hypocrites of Pakistan. No better, no different. He just has a different face and a different name. If you were to take away his VIP privileges, he would be out and about screaming and threatening you with “you don’t know who I am!!” and “I’ll call XYZ and have your job taken away!!”

See Kamran Shafi? I just made an assumption about you. How does it feel?

Dear God, please don't let this be a Muslim

Security officers on site leapt to the aid of those injured

Dear America,

You're smarting from a great tragedy. A terrible, terrible event happened in Boston. A joyous occasion was brutally crucified to make way for pain, blood and agony. Innocents were hurt. Innocents perished. The cowards who did this did not have the guts to own up to it. They deserve to rot in an open square with people ogling at them, taking cognizance of the abomination that these barbarians are.

As news reeled in off those who were killed, and those who were injured one prayer leapt to my lips:

Please dear God, don't let this be a Muslim. Don't let this be a Pakistani. Please dear God. Don't let this be.

But I see I was late in my prayer. You see a Fox News employee had already sent out a tweet condemning me to death. He also condemned the 1.6 billion other followers of Islam to death by saying "let's kill them all".

When I read that tweet I realized something. I realized how broken we all were. How disoriented, how unattached from one another. We're all humans yet we've demonized each other beyond reproach. To some all brown people appear as worthy of death. To some all white appear as worthy of death. We can't stop ripping each other a new one all the time. In all this madness people like me, those trying to keep sane amidst the insanity are crushed brutally.

Today I thought back to Pakistan. I thought about the 20 or so people who die there everyday. Then i came across this Facebook status from a friend:

Watching all the media about the Boston bombings, can't help but wonder if this is how the people of Pakistan feel all the time

So I wondered do we feel this way all the time? When a drone fires a Hellfire and kills innocent school children. When the terrorists bomb a market. When sectarian groups engage in systematically wiping out those who are opposed to them. Doesn't our heart weep when we hear about how another bystander was lost? About how a kid lost his parents? About how that poor woman lost her legs? What do we feel if not but pain? What do we do if not cry tears of blood day in and day out, over and over again?

My thoughts went out to the 50,000 innocent Pakistani lives lost in this craze. And then I realized how emotionally detached I was from my own people's suffering. The Boston Marathon explosions had left me shaking, but the 20 people who die in Pakistan everyday simply does not affect me at all. I was ashamed of myself. I was so very ashamed of my insensitivity. Did I think an American life was worth more than the life of my fallen Pakistani fellow? Did the Pakistani life just equal a nameless statistic forever confined to the annals of history to be used in pie charts, or bar charts to explain the year on year increase in casualties?

And then I realized, my desensitization was a defense mechanism.

If we Pakistanis started to give a shit about all those we lose every single day, we would go insane

I feel the same pain, but I refuse to acknowledge its existence. Because acknowledging its existence would mean I have to deal with it, and I can't. None of us can. It's easier to ignore and carry on than to deal with the great tragedy that takes place day in and day out.

Dear America the pain you feel today, I have felt for 11 years now. Every single day like a searing white hot pin piercing my heart. Dear America, when you accuse us of being responsible for all the ills plaguing the world we look at each other, we look at the 50,000 graves we have dug and we weep for the men, women and children we buried who can find no peace even in death. Dear America we die everyday only to find a thankless world tell us we're rogue terrorists who deserve to be locked up and wiped off the face of the earth. Our children's cries do not equal the cries of your children; the weight of our dead bodies does not equal the weight of your dead bodies. Our sacrifices do not exist, because you never see them. Our efforts go in vain because we've been demonized so much.

Dear America we've been so traumatized that now we are scared of saying we're Muslims, we're ashamed of our brownness and we feel deeply uncomfortable and guilty for belonging to the countries which you largely equate with the devil's personal backyard.

Dear America what you feel today is what millions of people living in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan have felt for many years now. I do not even for an instant suggest that you forgive those who have threatened you. I just request that when you send out a prayer for the victims of the Boston Marathon explosions that you remember the 37 Iraqis who were killed yesterday. I request you send out a quiet prayer for the 30 guests at a wedding which was "accidentally" bombed by a US bomber in Afghanistan. I request that you send out a quiet prayer for the 50,000 innocent men, women and children who have paid the ultimate price for a war that they were thrust in for no fault of their own except for having been born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear America you see what it has come to now? You see how terrorized, demonized and scared we feel?

Dear God, please, don't let this be a Muslim.

Pakistan polio endemic's end nowhere in sight

Map of countries with polio cases. Click to enlarge.

Pakistan is one of only 3 countries in the world where the polio virus is still endemic. The other two countries being Nigeria and Afghanistan. The mass murders of polio health workers and terrible law and order situation in the tribal areas bordering Afghanistan means that this year there were 240,000 children who were not vaccinated. The government's inability to properly educate the masses and provide security cover to social health workers means that the end to this epidemic is nigh in sight. 

Christian houses set on fire. What next?

People throw bricks on a Christian home after setting it on fire

An angry mob set 40 Christian homes on fire today for an alleged incident of blasphemy. Through our past experiences, we already know how farcical these allegations are. But that did not stop the so-called angry mob to spare the homes of Christians who didn't even have anything to do with the whole incident. Who just happened to be living in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Ironically I can bet that this same mob, which thinks it acted as a defender of God's word, has never gone to the mosque to pray, commits sins and adultery, and cheats and blasphemes against God's word everyday. Setting innocent people's houses on fire is the worst form of blasphemy that could ever have been committed. And who is going to prosecute them? What befuddles be is the kind of naivety our security agencies display. The SSP of Lahore for example, said that no houses had been torched. Pictorial and video evidence suggests otherwise.

It's time for the minorities to leave. It's time for the white (which stood for minorities) in Pakistan's flag to be decommissioned. They came for the Ahmadis. Then they came for the Shiites. Now they've come for the Christians. It's only a matter of time before all our necks are hanging out.

And the only reason this has happened is because our douchebag leaders, incapable, insurmountable selfish pricks, have no idea how a country is run. CM Shahbaz Sharif announced a compensation of 0.2 million rupees for the affected. Are you trying to slap an already brow beaten minority? 0.2 million for people who've lost everything? Who have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide? Who don't have their own homes anymore?

I'm a Pakistani and today I'm ashamed to be one. At the very least I wish someone would make an example out of the people who did this today. But that's expecting too much from the likes of Rana Sanaullah who actually hangs out with people who are responsible for such brutal antics. 

Blackout in Pakistan

Approximately two hours ago, Pakistan suffered from a major power failure. More than 80% of the country was without power. The cause of the power failure according to WAPDA (Water and Power Development Authority) was HUBCO (a power plant located near Karachi). HUBCO contributes 1200MW of electricity to the national power grid. Due to a technical fault, the power plant failed causing all of the load to be shifted to Mangla and Tarbela power houses. Mangla contributes 600MW to the national power grid while Tarbela contributes 1800MW. When they were overloaded with this new power burden, they also tripped causing a nationwide blackout. As of right now (2:00 am PST), WAPDA is gradually restoring the power supply to all affected areas. Embedded below are tweets providing information about the power failure in Pakistan.

Gradual power restoration in progress #Pakistan #BlackoutInPakistan
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

2 grid stations in #Islamabad now receiving full electricity #Pakistan #BlackoutInPakistan
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#Tarbela power house has been restored
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Power restored to some areas of #Islamabad #Pakistan #BlackoutInPakistan
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Pervez Ashraf personally monitoring #BlackoutInPakistan #Pakistan
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#WAPDA officials say #HUBCO's tripping caused #BlackoutInPakistan #Pakistan
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

700MW - 800MW left in the power system of #Pakistan right now.
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

1200MW from #HUBCO, 1800MW from #Tarbela and 600MW from #Mangla has been cutoff from national grid.
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Inquiry into establishing responsibility for the National Grid tripping in #Pakistan!
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Power outage in #Pakistan. More than 80% of the country without electricity!
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Average electricity production in #Pakistan is 9000MW. Which is 50% of capacity. 1/3rd of that is down. #BlackOut #PakistanBlackout
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Prime Minister #Pakistan has taken notice of the breakdown
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Emergency teams dispatched to #Mangla #Tarbela and #HUBCO
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#Hyderabad #Pakistan without electricity. All industrial zones shut down in #Sindh. #Pakistan #Blackout #PakistanBlackout
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

All major hospitals in #Sindh without electricity. Patients in extreme discomfort! #Pakistan #PakistanBlackout #Blackout
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#WAPDA saying it will take 2 - 2.5 hours to restore electricity to the National Grid. #Pakistan #BlackOut #PakistanBlackout
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#KESC trying to restore its system itself. It receives 650MW from #WAPDA #Pakistan #PakistanBlackout #BlackOut
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#HUBCO, #Mangla and #Tarbela have all tripped. 80% of #Pakistan without electricity!
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Entire Punjab suffering from power outage! #Pakistan #Blackout
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

#Pakistan powe supply disrupted. 80% of the country without electricity!
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Total #BLACKOUT in #PAKISTAN!!!
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Major power breakdown. 80% of #Pakistan in darkness
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 24, 2013

Pakistan women's cricket team confined to a stadium in Cuttack

So much for the Indian "hospitality"

With the women's cricket World Cup scheduled to take place in India this year, a rather unfortunate and sad story has unfolded. Recent border clashes on the Line of Control have sparked a feverish Indian response that extends beyond their regular media mouthpieces. So much so that the Pakistani women's cricket team has been confined to the stadium at Cuttack in India because all 5 star hotels refused to host them due to racist pressure on them from extremist Indian elements.

Dawn.com in it's reports asked four questions regarding the whole situation. Find the questions and my answers to all four of them below.

Q: Keeping in mind the situation the Pakistani team is faced with in India, should the ICC play a more decisive role?

The ICC should take an Indian banana and shove it up its you know what. The ICC is like the UN. Gutless, spineless, loser of a referee who realizes he really has no power and the only real source of its income is the Indian cricket board. So it dare not offend it. As far as its concerned, the world is round and there is nothing wrong with it.

Q: Are the ICC and the BCCI setting a precedent for all future matches that Pakistan may be involved in in India?

The BCCI set the precedent when it refused to allow Pakistani cricket players play in the Indian Premier League. So as far as its concerned, its just following its long set tradition. The ICC on the other hand has no real authority. So even if it wanted to do anything, it really can't. As far as precedents go, Pakistan is already shunned. Just going with the flow never hurt anyone.

Q: Being bound to the hotel (stadium in this case) has been cited by FICA and most international teams as a major concern when talk of touring Pakistan comes up. Will it affect the performance of Sana Mir’s team in any way?

Of course it will. You're bound to a stadium in a country that does not want you to be there. Why are you hell bent on staying there? Where's your self respect? If somebody had threatened any cricket team visiting Pakistan, all hell would've broken lose. They would've flown back to their homeland in a heartbeat. Meanwhile our brave gals are calling on their "supporters" to show up for their matches. How can they be so naive?

Q: If travelling around in India is not a safe option for the Pakistan women’s team, is it right for the World Cup to go ahead over there?

I don't know. All I know if the PCB wasn't even more spineless than the ICC they would've called our gals back home and told the ICC and the BCCI to fuck off.

Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised messiah

In Pakistan messiahs are promised every few minutes. It is said they will come and change the face of the country. But the messiahs we usually get are illiterate, or if they're not illiterate they're still incompetent, useless, backwards thinking, corrupt, compulsive liars, supporters of military rule, anarchists or they have vested interests.

The PPP were the promised messiahs in 2008 when they won the elections. They said they would fix the country, they would catch Benazir Bhutto's killers, they would rid the country of corruption, they would fix the rule of law, they would fix the power situation and so on and so forth. But they failed just like everybody else. Pakistan today has slid to a point where it is bleeding from a thousand cuts. Either it will survive to live another day, or it will go south the way it did in 1971.

Sometimes I actually feel pity for Pakistan. Not the people, not the politicians but for the land itself. Sometimes I wonder to myself that if we could hear the land it would be crying and asking its dwellers what have you done to it. Why have you done what you did?

Now we have another promised messiah  from the shining land of Canada. A man who came out of nowhere and stole the thunder. A demagogue if you will as predicted by Cyril Almeida in this amazing article he published in 2011. But Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised. He is not the man to lead Pakistan out of trouble. His character is flawed, his logic skewed and his demands unreasonable and unconstitutional. On top of that he is a compulsive liar.

Last I heard the supreme court has ordered the arrest of Raja Pervaiz Ashraf in the rental power plants corruption case. He is accused of having received kickbacks. Now that another Prime Minister has been removed from his position, it does indeed look like the forces of Qadri and the people funding and supporting him have won. Maybe the government will fail and the nation will rejoice. But that rejoice will be ironical, short lived and catastrophic.

People often ask me what's Pakistan like; is it chaotic, dangerous, serene or picturesque? That's the point where I scratch my head, look down at my feet and tell them I'll get back to them on that one.

I am sorry Shias. I am sorry for everything.

Shia Hazara community sits with 86 coffins in the freezing cold of Quetta

I am sorry Shias.
I am sorry for not listening.
I am sorry for not caring.
I am sorry for staying quiet.
I am sorry for not standing up.
I am sorry for not raising my voice.
I am sorry for letting you die.
I am sorry for cornering you in your own country.
I am sorry for burning down your homes.
I am sorry for being more concerned with madmen's crazy antics.
I am sorry for spilling your blood.
I am sorry for listening to trivial excuses to justify your death.
I am sorry for scaring you.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of this country.
I am sorry for inflicting incompetent, drunk and incapable leaders on you.
I am sorry for being too engrossed in my own life to care for your plight.
I am sorry for not protesting.
I am sorry for not thinking.
I am sorry for being soulless.
I am sorry for being so heartless.
I am sorry for not expressing my remorse.
I am sorry for being weak when I should have been strong.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of Pakistan.
I am sorry for symbolizing death and destruction in your life.
I am sorry Shias, for everything. 

Besotted with violence: Who will change mens' attitudes?

Mount Elizabeth Hospital Singapore where the victim passed away

By now most of you know that the victim of the New Delhi bus gang rape in India has died. Along with the Indians a lot of people across the world are still reeling from the shock of the cruelty and utter barbarianism that was meted out to her. A lot of people are still pondering why?

Let's just remind ourselves what happened to her exactly. On December 16, she along with her fiance was coming back after watching a movie. They wanted to go to Dwarka, a place in southwest Delhi when they were tricked into boarding a bus by some men. What happened then is a tale of truly horrendous proportions.

6 men raped her for almost an hour. As if that wasn't enough, they then beat her with an iron rod tearing her intestines. They then threw her, and her fiance from the moving bus onto the road. She was then flown to Singapore where she faced multi organ failure resulting in her death. A 23 year old life, snuffed.

Terrible as it is the pertinent question here is indeed why? Sexual violence against women has long been a characteristic of the subcontinent (both India and Pakistan). Men have traditionally tried to dominate the society and when they have been unable to establish their writ they have tried to do so by harming innocent women. On the other hand people who are supposed to prevent such incidents from taking place (police, state agencies etc.) are usually directed and run by men and that's where the second conundrum starts. Because the society as a whole has failed to educate and evolve, their mindsets are hard coded into laying the blame squarely on the victim.

In this case however, the backlash has been strong and unusually robust. The epic proportions of cruelty notwithstanding, the government of India has still failed to pacify the large number of protestors. Any remedial measures will only serve as a band aid, a temporary fix. Even if the 6 accused are found guilty and hanged, the failed policies will continue to chew away at the social fabric of society.

So how can change be emancipated here?

The dead honest answer is: Through education. You see these heinous crimes take place because as children these men were never taught to respect women, or told that by defiling women's bodies they do not somehow establish their superiority. If the concepts of right and wrong, of equality, of respect, kindness and forgiveness are instilled in children from the get go, society will gradually begin to change. Chemically castrating sex offenders for example, is not going to stop the rape of women. Hanging culprits might silence the large number of protestors but that will not end the stressful lives women have to endure in our part of the world.

Of course there is the fact that while there is talk of some change taking place in India in response to this abhorrent incident, the same cannot be said for Pakistan where women are buried alive and senators stand in the galleys of Parliament and say that it is our customs and no one has the right to talk about it.

It saddens me immensely that people only raise their voices in the subcontinent when innocent lives have been taken. In India it had to be that nameless 23 year old medical student who was going back home after watching a movie. In Pakistan it was the 20 year old Shahzeb Khan who was going to visit his friend. In both cases the voices for change came to late. How long before they die out and we're back to square one?

A version of this blog post appeared on The Express Tribune Blogs: Click here to view it.

Malala Yusufzai, you will not die

There is a movie called V for Vendetta. I watched it maybe 5 or 6 years ago. I still remember it. I remember it for one sentence.

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mark there is an idea, Mr Creedy; and ideas are bulletproof.

Today the Taliban tried to murder a 14 year old unarmed girl, riding on a bus going home from school. Talk about being ballsy, Taliban. Yeah, I couldn't figure out what to call them either. Every expletive out there seems inadequate. And then there was the cherry on top of the cake. They didn't seem ashamed or abashed. They proudly claimed responsibility. And then they said they would try to kill her again if she survived this attack.

Malala Yusufzai

Malala Yusufzai is a 14 year old girl who got a peace prize from Prime Minister Yusuf Gilani in 2011. I had the good fortune of meeting her in 2009. She was probably 12 years old at that time. She was famous back then because she had maintained a diary for the BBC chronicling the horrors of Taliban rule in Swat Valley. She was also famous because New York Times reporter Adam Ellick had shot a video about her dad and her called Class Dismissed. She had been on TV as a defender of girls' right to education. Today she had to pay for that right with an attempt on her life.

The Taliban mindset has time and again proven that it is so corrupt and so outdated, that it has no right to even exist.They can't find like men. They fight like cowards. Today they attacked a 14 year old. Tomorrow they'll come after babies.

Malala Yusufzai is not pro-western or a western agent. She is a Pakistani who stood up for her right to education. She took two bullets for that cause. So far every report says she's out of danger. But for the cowards who fight like scared vile dogs, Malala Yusufzai is not a person. She is an idea. And ideas you coward dogs, are bulletproof.

When will you stop shaming me Pakistan?

Look at him and weep because such idiots are leaders in Pakistan (Ghulam Ahmed Bilour)

I woke up early to try and study. Instead I get this thrown in my face:

Pakistani minister announces $100,000 bounty on anti-Islam film maker

I mean seriously, what the fuck? Certain choice words come to my mind but I'd rather not say because they will just make me boil over. I knew this piece of shit known as Ghulam Ahmed Bilour was a strictly speaking fucked up loser with daddy issues but this, this is preposterous. It is because of sons of bitches like him that Pakistan and Pakistanis have lost all moral value in front of the entire world. No that's not true. The events on Friday that left 23 dead are a appropriate yardstick to judge us by.

You wanna know why people want to leave and run away from Pakistan? Well just read, see and hear what he said!

The Federal Minister for Railways Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said that he was aware that it was a crime to instigate the people for murder, but he was ready to commit the crime. He added that there was no way to instill fear among blasphemers other than taking this step. He also called on members of the Taliban and al Qaeda for their support, saying that if members of the banned militant organisations kill the maker of the blasphemous movie, they will also be rewarded.

So ladies and gentlemen the moment we've all been waiting for, the radicalization of society, the mental un-wellness of the Pakistani jackasses in power, the moral turpitude, the black stigma, has arrived. Live it. Breathe it. Feel it. And tomorrow, when somebody from the government gets up and says "we shall wage a war against Al-Qaeda or the Taliban" smack him/her (why be sexist right? They're all equally incompetent and incapable) in the face with the heel of your shoe and tell him/her to sit the fuck back down. YOU want to understand why the world paints us with such a dreaded color? Look no further than what Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said on national TV.

The really sad bit is because of these pieces of utter buffoonery the entire world goes up in arms against every single, normal, clear thinking Pakistani.

And that's when I ask myself this question: When will you stop shaming me Pakistan? When?

Are you seriously kidding me?

Protesters burn US flags and effigies in response to
the blasphemous movie Innocence of Muslims
which was released in the USA

I had an inkling this might happen. When you move away from your home country, you tend to lose track of things happening back home. Of course there is the internet to make sure that you never are really separated from home. I mean, all I had to do to find out what was happening in Pakistan was to visit Dawn.com or Tribune.com.pk and boom, I knew all that I had to know. And then some.

The Islamic parties in Pakistan are what you would normally call a bunch of irrational, ultra right wing hooligans. You won't be wrong. They ended up killing a man today. They also threatened the US government that they would not allow the US consulates in Pakistan to function. They are also under the impression that the US establishment sponsored the creation of the terrible Islamophobic movie that has got the Muslim world up in arms. BUT, the problem is the US establishment does not have as much free time as the Pakistani establishment, neither does it care about the kinds of movies that are made in the country. Also, the US government is much more focused on what's going to happen within the next 50 days when Barack Obama and Mitt Romney come face to face in the race to the White House.

My point is that more than 75% of all Americans don't even know that an Islamophobic movie was made. They do not care that it was made. This (as I've come to realize) is a very liberal and free country. Here freedom of expression extends beyond personal or religious feelings. People say what they like to say without having to face repercussions and that's not necessarily a bad thing. This approach allows people to ask questions without being intimated or feeling inadequate and by asking questions and having a real debate a lot of misconceptions are removed.

Of course a lot of the news websites in the US itself are in a furor over the content of the movie. The New York Times in an article published today lambasted Newsweek for inviting a debate on the Muslim reaction to the movie with the Twitter hastag #MuslimRage. But then Muslims are raging all over the internet aren't they? No wait. They're not because Rehman Malik and Raja Rental in their infinite wisdom have asked PTA to block many websites including Youtube in the country. And if that wasn't enough, Rehman Malik threatened Google Inc. with suspending the visas of its employees. Are you kidding me Rehman Malik? How on earth do you expect Pakistan to even progress just a tiny bit if that is the level you are willing to sink to appease the religious hard liners in Pakistan? I mean, dude seriously. What the fuck is the matter with you?

On Facebook people have expressed their resentment in an awesome way. This is the Facebook status of thousands of Muslims on Facebook:

I know a MAN who lost his parents but refused to be called an orphan. Man enough to love a strong woman years older than him, worked for her and made her stronger, opened his heart to her, shared his fears to no human but her, cleaned after himself and sewed his clothes, and was faithful to her till her last breath. He was courageous and fearless. He never judged anyone on their pasts or looks, and was moderate, open minded and tolerant. His neighbor was Jewish and his cousin-in-law was a Christian priest. Was beaten and exiled when he was helpless. Was merciful when he became stronger. Intelligent, wise and a hard worker, built a long lasting nation out of nothing in the last 20 years of his life. He had no parents, but loved his daughters and grandchildren. His last will was "Be good to women". This MAN is my PROPHET MUHAMMAD (S.A.W.W) a man worth looking up to - peace be upon him - Don't just read, read and think who you are, and who you want to be for the people and the women you love.

Why do we as a society feel the need to literally indulge in self destruction to hammer home a point that for all intents and purposes nobody but the Pakistanis will end up hearing? If these religious parties (or Rehman Malik for that matter) think that by banning Youtube, threatening Google, or giving an ultimatum to the US they can make a point they are so badly mistaken. Nobody in the US gives a damn. 

Celebrating Pakistan's independence day. Or not.

Yours sincerely, Pakistan

I've always wondered why we celebrate our independence day on 14th August. I mean Pakistan gained independence from the Indian subcontinent at 00:00 hours on the night of 14th and 15th August. Which technically means we were independent on the 15th of August because 00:00 hours signify the next day. But of course in our inadvertent desire to be distinguished from India, we decided we would celebrate our independence day a day earlier than reality. But of course that is neither here, nor there.

Over the past many years I have celebrated 14th August with a lot of fanfare and joy. I have found something to celebrate even if it is pinning that tiny pin up flag that's sold for Rs 10 to the front of my shirt. I have bought many small paper flags strung together and hung them on my house's balcony much like the Americans' fetish with TP (toilet papering). I have bought firecrackers and something called a "sootur bum" which is like a very dangerous kind of firecracker. In my time I have thrown firecrackers into a squash court just to hear that unbelievable blasting sound that actually caused guards to come rushing to the sports complex. I have taken part in the mandatory night parade celebrations of 13th August on Rawalpindi's famous Murree road. So yeah. I've celebrated. A lot.

This year is different though. I didn't get any of those celebratory pangs of joy that precede 14th August. Maybe its got something to do with my mood. I am in a bit of grey mood nowadays if I'm honest. But I think my lack of joy has less to do with my mood and more to do with the environment of my country. I have experienced first hand corruption, nepotism, jobbery, ineptness, hypocrisy, impatience and a lot of other traits that have come to define the Pakistani strata. I have seen people not care. I have seen people die. I have seen law enforcers breaking laws. I have snapped. I have given the finger to many policemen escorting VIPs because they told me to back off and not cross the car of the motherfucking prick they're escorting. I have become angry. I have lost patience. I have lost the dream of seeing a happy, prosperous Pakistan.

Pakistan is just a geographical identity. Pakistan is a bit of land sandwiched between Afghanistan and India. What makes Pakistan, Pakistan, are the people who live in this land. Sometimes those people do amazing things. Sometimes they become lazy inept losers. This year those people are morbid. This year 14th August doesn't have the same joy. This year those people have killed 14th August.

I wish I had the same energy that I had last year during 14th August. But when my grand vision has been shattered and my joy reduced to nothing, there is nothing left for me to call that energy upon and expend it. I wish this 14th August was a happy one. I wish we could sing and dance, and laugh and play. We can't. Because our idea of 14th August which had already been reduced to a mundane display of flags and firecrackers is nothing more than that. A flawed idea.

A happy albeit subdued independence day everyone. May God bless us all. May God bless Pakistan.