Why I logged off Twitter for good: A personal reckoning with its descent into hate

Shout into the void, get zero likes, and still somehow feel attacked. But maybe zero likes is better than drowning in hate.

I haven’t posted on Twitter for a couple of years now; the majority of people that I knew on that platform have either abandoned it, or jumped ship. Including myself. I’m here, posting this here, instead of over there. And I’ve finally figured out why — Twitter seems like a dystopian hellscape. It’s a collection of the worst people, anonymous by design, shouting into their infernal echo chambers. It’s racist, xenophobic, and despairing. There’s too much hate being platformed on it in the name of free speech. It was always going to end up like this, but there was always this hope that maybe — just maybe — Twitter will survive the X-ification that Elon Musk unleashed upon it. How naive, we all were.

Every time I open it nowadays, it’s the same version of talking points over and over again — Muslims are terrorists, Islam is a cancer, brown folks are replacing European descendants. There are giant mega threads dedicated to utterly insane and xenophobic discourse about how “immigrants” have made areas “no-go”. It sounds unhinged and insane, but the collective echo chamber effect reinforces these beliefs over and over again, until they become part of your infernal and rabid psyche. And honestly, it’s a chicken and egg situation. Like Mehdi Hasan says, there was always a racism problem in the West, but it was hidden because it's common courtesy to not be a fucking race baiter. Well guess what? In the neofascist age that we’re living through, it’s become quite fashionable (and lucrative) to be an open racist and bigot. And it’s not just anon accounts fanning these flames, it’s congressmen too.

Of course this whole discourse is a pivot to distract away from their shortcomings, and how pathetic they really are. Charlie Kirk, Ted Cruz, Randy Fine to name but a few, are now so severely spewing Islamophobia, that it’s become their whole personality. They’re doing it because they don’t want people talking about their moral failings and shortcomings. They keep getting reamed in, but they double down. Because as I said earlier, it is now advantageous to be racist and xenophobic. The world is making that pivot, and these bigots want to get in on the ground floor.

The world is scary, but logging onto Twitter makes it feel 50 times worse, because all you’re subjected to repeatedly is how much you’re hated because you’re not a European descendant with the correct “genes”. The skin of your color is the defining characteristic of whether you’re worthy of any consideration, or if your value is relegated to the “subhuman” category. The whole setup is so broken. Instead of being hopeful and optimistic, we’re entering a doom spiral where everything feels hopeless and pessimistic. I don’t know how and where this cycle will end. In the meantime, log off Twitter. The xenophobia won’t magically go away, but at least you won’t have to worry about living with an existential crisis everyday.

When #MeToo isn’t enough to save you from being set on fire

Parents of Asma Yaqoob hold up a phone with a picture of their burned daughter

Nobody is talking about Asma Yaqoob Masih. Nobody wants to talk about her. Nobody wants to listen to the sad, sordid, gut twisting story that Asma’s cold body wants to tell. And do you want to know why? Because she wasn’t some rich, famous, in your face celebrity. She was a maid, who was set on fire because a man felt jilted that she did not want to be with him. So he set her on fire.

Asma’s story isn’t the only one. If you go down this rabbit hole, you’ll find hundreds and hundreds of these stories — spurned men setting their rejectors on fire, or throwing acid on their faces. I felt my faith failing when I Googled “Pakistani woman set on fire.”

“Teenager burned to death for declining marriage proposal” ... “Woman set on fire for attending wedding without husband’s permission” ... “Girl burned alive for refusing marriage proposal in Murree” ... “16 year old schoolgirl drugged, strangled and set on fire for helping friend elope” ... How many hundreds more are we missing?

Last night I had an epiphany. Those who have turned the “mera jism, meri marzi” movement into a meme should be forced to watch the horrors their high handedness inflicts on those who shout “mera jism, meri marzi.”

It was Asma Yaqoob’s jism, but it was not her marzi. Because her marzi was overturned and she was set on fire. It was Khadija Siddiqui’s jism, but it was not her marzi. Because her marzi resulted in her being stabbed 23 times in broad daylight. It was 16 year old Sumaira’s jism. But it was not her marzi, because her marzi resulted in her throat being slit by her brother, and her writhing in front of a crowd of onlookers for almost an hour before she passed. It was Qandeel Baloch’s jism, but it was not her marzi. Because her marzi resulted in her brother strangling her in the middle of the night in the misguided belief that he was saving the family’s honor.

Rizwan Gujjar was a good, pious Muslim man. He wanted Asma to covert to Islam and then marry him. She said no. She said no to becoming a Muslim, she said no to marrying him, and she said no to his ego. How could she have dared? He doused her with kerosene and set her on fire.

I wonder how these good, pious Muslim men find it in them to set another human on fire, stab them, strangle them or slaughter them. I wonder which religious decree these good, pious Muslim men follow which leads them down this road of depravity. I wonder why these good, pious Muslim men don’t die of hypocrisy when they say it is not women’s jism, and it is not their marzi; when they say it is God’s jism and God’s marzi; when they forget to speak when God’s jism and God’s marzi are desecrated by men.

Asma Yaqoob Masih is just another statistic. She didn’t even make a blip. You might’ve heard of her just in passing. Or you might not have heard of her at all. But it’s too late now anyway. She’s dead because our apathy, our myopia, our insistence women don’t have it as bad as they say it is, led to a man thinking the appropriate response for a rejection, was inflicting intolerable, unbearable, unendurable, unmanageable pain on an innocent soul.

It wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last.

Pakistan’s unhealthy obsession with its military prowess

Pakistani F-16s

They say minstrels write songs about the military might of Pakistan. They say poets try to equate the omnipresence of God with the creation of Pakistan. They say even philosophers are forced to concede that the existence of Pakistan is a miracle.

Meanwhile in the mortal world, we’re left to wonder if Pakistan is so great, why the hell do they turn off mobile networks every time a bird sneezes?

The other day I went to McDonald’s. Right in front of me was a military officer wearing his uniform. He crossed the metal detector and was on his way. When I crossed the metal detector a security guard jumped out of nowhere and told me to stretch out my arms for the proverbial “checking.” I was outraged. Why did that security guard not “check” the military officer? To which that innocent, misguided, gullible representation of the Pakistani populace replied, “because he defends us. It doesn’t behoove us to check those who defend us.” Pure anger coursed through my veins. So the 70,000 Pakistanis that we like to bandy about before the international media, did they drop dead of their own accord? If these men of the so-called Allah’s army are supposed to defend me, why did the attack on APS Peshawar happen? Or the attack at Sehwan Sharif? Or the attack in Iqbal Park Lahore?

I’m not a fan of the military in Pakistan. This is the reason why: They get a free pass, every single time. And they’re allowed to get a free pass every time they want to show off their love affair with phallic toys. Like today.

I woke up today with fighter jets whizzing over my house. They were on their way to the military parade ground in Islamabad, for the full dress rehearsal that’s taking place, before the actual thing takes place on the 23rd. So I picked up my phone and tried to message a colleague, but the message wouldn’t deliver. And that’s when I saw that I had “No Service” instead of the bars of phone strength signals. So there it was again — a free pass. People’s lives can be damned; their inconveniences can be ignored; their priorities can be shelved, as long as the boys wearing camoflague uniforms get to show off their toys. And for what? What have these toys achieved? I still don’t feel safe going to a market, or a mosque, or a bazaar.

They say when you go to a foreign country, they treat you like a second class citizen. That’s a load of bullshit if I ever heard one. But what about being treated like second class citizens within your country? What do you think your status is when they shuffle you like sheep and ask you to “prove your identity” when they stop you at checkpoints and search your vehicles without warrants? Thatis called being treated like second class citizens. It doesn’t happen in America. It doesn’t happen in Europe. Or Canada, or any other country where the majority of Pakistanis want to escape to.

It is tme for catharsis. This country which we claim is all we need in the world is not great. It’s not even good. In this country we have problems of terrorism, extremism, corruption, lack of rule of law. Instead, what we’ve decided to tackle is free speech, the internet, the very existence of social media and inclusion. State agencies, without following due process, kidnap people who are critical of the state, and judges scream profanities when those same kidnapped people are recovered and try to find asylum abroad. I mean the sheer naivete and blindness that makes up the national character of this country astounds me to no end.

I don’t know. It’s the culmination of the little things that has boiled over. The terrible traffic, the electricity crises, the lack of due process, the relentless war on the freedom of speech.

And now, today, them turning off my mobile phone network.

When Pakistan started dying...

People gather at the site of the Quetta blast - AFP photo

My heart cries tears of blood for the Hazaras... #ShiaGenocide, when will we wake up?... What has Pakistan come to?! Oh God!!... This country does not deserve to be called ‘PAK-istan’...

These statements, are cliches. They mean nothing. They have no purpose. They’re just uttered to make ourselves feel good about atrocities which we mostly can’t, and usually won’t do anything about. 40 Hazara Shias died yesterday. How many of us cared? 18 people died in Peshawer yesterday. How many of us bothered to find out 3 kids died in that attack? How many of us had the apathy to find out that the doctors and rescue teams ran in terror as the terrorists from LeJ told them they would be murdered if they tried to treat the “kafir” Shias who needed treatment?

I’m going to launch a protest movement on Facebook! Enough is enough!... I’m live tweeting the #HazaraGenocide... This madness needs to stop!...

Yesterday when David Cameron was standing under the open skies of Islamabad, people were dying in Peshawer. While Nawaz Sharif was saying we’re going to fight terrorism, and eradicate the electricity menace, kids were burning, screaming, dying. Did a single hair on his shiny head ruffle? Did he shudder? Did he feel a cold settling in his gut? Did he care enough to go to Peshawer and look the mother of the 6 year old girl in the eye and tell her “I’ve failed... Forgive me? We’ve all failed, forgive us all...?”

I used to think Pakistan belonged to us. It’s only recently I’ve realized Karachi belongs to A, Quetta belongs to B, and Lahore belongs to C. FATA belongs to the foreigners, and Islamabad is home to ostriches. Pakistan is not mine. Even my home is not mine. I am not a Pakistani. None of us are. Or ever were. It was a delusion that took 65 years to wear off. Abul Kalam Azad, a fierce opponent of the Pakistan movement had predicted in 1946 what would happen to us. East Pakistan would break, and the west wing of Pakistan which was to be ruled by feudal lords, and uneducated loafers would self destruct. Abul Kalam Azad said in 1946 this delusional idea of “we’re all Muslims and hence one nation” is false. We are not one nation. We are Sunni, Shia, Ahmedi, Barelvi, Wahabi, Sufi, Salafi, Hanbali, Ismaili, Alawi, Naqshbani, Uwaiysi, Qadri, Zikri and so on and so forth. And amongst these we are Takfiris, incapable of accepting the faith of another, or living by it.

Shias are kafirs, they deserve what they’re getting... Our movement is to get Shias declared as non Muslims under the constitution of Pakistan... Killing Shias is tantamount to killing the enemies of Islam, and that is what Islam tells us....

It seems such a long time ago when I was apologizing to the Shias, but even that apology sounds fake, and hollow, and distraught. Last time the Hazaras took 86 dead bodies and waited in the open cold under the star less night waiting for deliverance which never came. How many more dead bodies must they put under the open skies for us to realize what monstrosity has just ripped through us?

They say after every fall, there is a rise.... But the bottom feels like an endless pit of sweltering tar that’s pulling us deeper inside....

Pakistan started dying the day it was born. Our “Islam”, our “Musalmaniyat” was the cancer that started feeding the hate and disgust that we feel toward one another. Once upon a time it was the Christians and Hindus and Parsis who felt scared. Now we Muslims feel scared...of other Muslims. Islam’s neck was held by the throat and squeezed till its eyes popped. As a result Islam was replaced by a vicious form of barbarianism.

When Pakistan started dying, we held candlelit vigils. We made Facebook pages dedicated to the cause of defending our fallen brothers. We promised we’re all Pakistanis. But one by one we kept falling. When Pakistan started dying we tweeted non stop. We shouted, fought, lost. When it was our turn to be slaughtered like animals, we cried and we begged for mercy that was never forthcoming. They came for the Hindus. We didn’t care. They came for the Christians. We didn’t care. They came for the Ahmedis. We said Ahmedis deserve this! They slaughtered Salman Taseer. We garlanded his murderer. They came for the Shias. We turned a blind eye. They’re coming for us. And pretty soon our eyes will be popping out of our heads too.

Dear God, please don't let this be a Muslim

Security officers on site leapt to the aid of those injured

Dear America,

You're smarting from a great tragedy. A terrible, terrible event happened in Boston. A joyous occasion was brutally crucified to make way for pain, blood and agony. Innocents were hurt. Innocents perished. The cowards who did this did not have the guts to own up to it. They deserve to rot in an open square with people ogling at them, taking cognizance of the abomination that these barbarians are.

As news reeled in off those who were killed, and those who were injured one prayer leapt to my lips:

Please dear God, don't let this be a Muslim. Don't let this be a Pakistani. Please dear God. Don't let this be.

But I see I was late in my prayer. You see a Fox News employee had already sent out a tweet condemning me to death. He also condemned the 1.6 billion other followers of Islam to death by saying "let's kill them all".

When I read that tweet I realized something. I realized how broken we all were. How disoriented, how unattached from one another. We're all humans yet we've demonized each other beyond reproach. To some all brown people appear as worthy of death. To some all white appear as worthy of death. We can't stop ripping each other a new one all the time. In all this madness people like me, those trying to keep sane amidst the insanity are crushed brutally.

Today I thought back to Pakistan. I thought about the 20 or so people who die there everyday. Then i came across this Facebook status from a friend:

Watching all the media about the Boston bombings, can't help but wonder if this is how the people of Pakistan feel all the time

So I wondered do we feel this way all the time? When a drone fires a Hellfire and kills innocent school children. When the terrorists bomb a market. When sectarian groups engage in systematically wiping out those who are opposed to them. Doesn't our heart weep when we hear about how another bystander was lost? About how a kid lost his parents? About how that poor woman lost her legs? What do we feel if not but pain? What do we do if not cry tears of blood day in and day out, over and over again?

My thoughts went out to the 50,000 innocent Pakistani lives lost in this craze. And then I realized how emotionally detached I was from my own people's suffering. The Boston Marathon explosions had left me shaking, but the 20 people who die in Pakistan everyday simply does not affect me at all. I was ashamed of myself. I was so very ashamed of my insensitivity. Did I think an American life was worth more than the life of my fallen Pakistani fellow? Did the Pakistani life just equal a nameless statistic forever confined to the annals of history to be used in pie charts, or bar charts to explain the year on year increase in casualties?

And then I realized, my desensitization was a defense mechanism.

If we Pakistanis started to give a shit about all those we lose every single day, we would go insane

I feel the same pain, but I refuse to acknowledge its existence. Because acknowledging its existence would mean I have to deal with it, and I can't. None of us can. It's easier to ignore and carry on than to deal with the great tragedy that takes place day in and day out.

Dear America the pain you feel today, I have felt for 11 years now. Every single day like a searing white hot pin piercing my heart. Dear America, when you accuse us of being responsible for all the ills plaguing the world we look at each other, we look at the 50,000 graves we have dug and we weep for the men, women and children we buried who can find no peace even in death. Dear America we die everyday only to find a thankless world tell us we're rogue terrorists who deserve to be locked up and wiped off the face of the earth. Our children's cries do not equal the cries of your children; the weight of our dead bodies does not equal the weight of your dead bodies. Our sacrifices do not exist, because you never see them. Our efforts go in vain because we've been demonized so much.

Dear America we've been so traumatized that now we are scared of saying we're Muslims, we're ashamed of our brownness and we feel deeply uncomfortable and guilty for belonging to the countries which you largely equate with the devil's personal backyard.

Dear America what you feel today is what millions of people living in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan have felt for many years now. I do not even for an instant suggest that you forgive those who have threatened you. I just request that when you send out a prayer for the victims of the Boston Marathon explosions that you remember the 37 Iraqis who were killed yesterday. I request you send out a quiet prayer for the 30 guests at a wedding which was "accidentally" bombed by a US bomber in Afghanistan. I request that you send out a quiet prayer for the 50,000 innocent men, women and children who have paid the ultimate price for a war that they were thrust in for no fault of their own except for having been born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear America you see what it has come to now? You see how terrorized, demonized and scared we feel?

Dear God, please, don't let this be a Muslim.

Christian houses set on fire. What next?

People throw bricks on a Christian home after setting it on fire

An angry mob set 40 Christian homes on fire today for an alleged incident of blasphemy. Through our past experiences, we already know how farcical these allegations are. But that did not stop the so-called angry mob to spare the homes of Christians who didn't even have anything to do with the whole incident. Who just happened to be living in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Ironically I can bet that this same mob, which thinks it acted as a defender of God's word, has never gone to the mosque to pray, commits sins and adultery, and cheats and blasphemes against God's word everyday. Setting innocent people's houses on fire is the worst form of blasphemy that could ever have been committed. And who is going to prosecute them? What befuddles be is the kind of naivety our security agencies display. The SSP of Lahore for example, said that no houses had been torched. Pictorial and video evidence suggests otherwise.

It's time for the minorities to leave. It's time for the white (which stood for minorities) in Pakistan's flag to be decommissioned. They came for the Ahmadis. Then they came for the Shiites. Now they've come for the Christians. It's only a matter of time before all our necks are hanging out.

And the only reason this has happened is because our douchebag leaders, incapable, insurmountable selfish pricks, have no idea how a country is run. CM Shahbaz Sharif announced a compensation of 0.2 million rupees for the affected. Are you trying to slap an already brow beaten minority? 0.2 million for people who've lost everything? Who have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide? Who don't have their own homes anymore?

I'm a Pakistani and today I'm ashamed to be one. At the very least I wish someone would make an example out of the people who did this today. But that's expecting too much from the likes of Rana Sanaullah who actually hangs out with people who are responsible for such brutal antics. 

We are a nation that looks to God all day

In our quest to leave everything for God to fix, we have ruined everything.

They say God helps those, who help themselves. But we Pakistanis have a different take on this ancient saying. We think God helps those who invoke His divine name, cross their arms and sit back pretending nothing is wrong. We fail to see what is front of our eyes. Sometimes what is in front of our eyes is so brutal we are forced to see it. In those instances we pretend like we did not witness it. Instead we attribute that brutality to God by saying “God must have willed it”. Take the brutal murder of Mughees and Muneeb Butt for instance. They were murdered in Ramzan by a mob. No mercy was shown to them. I ask you, does God tell man to murder another man? Does God tell man to be brutal to other men? Does God tell man to show no mercy to other men? No. God does not do that. Man does that, because it is convenient to look at God and say, I am wrong because I was made wrong. And God must have willed it.

It is said that God gave man free will; free will to do as he would please. By that logic we Pakistanis have no business looking at God, or awaiting His help. He has given us the tools to make informed decisions. He has given us kindness and compassion. He has given us a brain and hands and feet and legs. Even with all of these things, if we continue to look to God for help, is that not blasphemous of us? Is that not satanic of us? Even with all these tools we await God’s divine intervention. We supplicate to Him asking for peace and tranquility; asking for better rulers and better conditions; asking for electricity and water and good doctors. All the while we forget the power to change our destiny is in our own hands because God gave us free will. God told us to be good. Instead we choose to be bad. We cheat, we lie, we steal, we hate, we destroy. God told us to use ijma and qiyas. Instead we are happy to listen to uneducated leaders who are master cheaters in their own rights. And then we sit back, cross our arms and look at God to solve our problems.

God helps those, who help themselves...

We Pakistanis are a confused nation. Maybe its because up till the 70s we had a very liberal atmosphere in the country. Then the 80s happened. Zia’s Islamization policies were completely opposite to what Pakistanis were used to. The result was the birth of rampant hypocrisy. An identity clash. We pretended to be something we were not. In our homes we forgot what so called Islamic principles we were following in the public. We preached one thing, did quite another. We were told God will fix all of our problems. We were told God had made us superior because we were Muslims. We were told we have no faults, no problems because we are Muslims. How wrong we were. The problem with this ideology was that we stopped seeing our mistakes. We stopped acknowledging our mistakes. We stopped caring about the wrongs we were doing that we were passing off as right.

When you stop seeing your mistakes, you cannot acknowledge them. When you don’t acknowledge your mistakes you cannot fix them. And when you don’t fix your mistakes, you just keep going deeper and deeper into the grave you are digging for yourself.

This is why we Pakistanis love to look to God all day long. Because we think we’ve made no mistakes. Because we think God’s punishing us because of some corrupt people amongst us. What we fail to realize is that we are those corrupt people and the only reason we are being punished is because we fail to acknowledge our mistakes and correct them. Instead we rely on God to be our saviour and deliver us from our miseries.

God only helps those, who help themselves...

Until we keep looking at God all day to fix all our problems without moving a muscle, we will never get out of the abyss we find ourselves in. We must use the tools that God has given us to make amends, make smart decisions. We must use our kindness and compassion to spread love and wipe evil. Only then will God help us. Only then will God deliver us from our misery.

Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised messiah

In Pakistan messiahs are promised every few minutes. It is said they will come and change the face of the country. But the messiahs we usually get are illiterate, or if they're not illiterate they're still incompetent, useless, backwards thinking, corrupt, compulsive liars, supporters of military rule, anarchists or they have vested interests.

The PPP were the promised messiahs in 2008 when they won the elections. They said they would fix the country, they would catch Benazir Bhutto's killers, they would rid the country of corruption, they would fix the rule of law, they would fix the power situation and so on and so forth. But they failed just like everybody else. Pakistan today has slid to a point where it is bleeding from a thousand cuts. Either it will survive to live another day, or it will go south the way it did in 1971.

Sometimes I actually feel pity for Pakistan. Not the people, not the politicians but for the land itself. Sometimes I wonder to myself that if we could hear the land it would be crying and asking its dwellers what have you done to it. Why have you done what you did?

Now we have another promised messiah  from the shining land of Canada. A man who came out of nowhere and stole the thunder. A demagogue if you will as predicted by Cyril Almeida in this amazing article he published in 2011. But Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised. He is not the man to lead Pakistan out of trouble. His character is flawed, his logic skewed and his demands unreasonable and unconstitutional. On top of that he is a compulsive liar.

Last I heard the supreme court has ordered the arrest of Raja Pervaiz Ashraf in the rental power plants corruption case. He is accused of having received kickbacks. Now that another Prime Minister has been removed from his position, it does indeed look like the forces of Qadri and the people funding and supporting him have won. Maybe the government will fail and the nation will rejoice. But that rejoice will be ironical, short lived and catastrophic.

People often ask me what's Pakistan like; is it chaotic, dangerous, serene or picturesque? That's the point where I scratch my head, look down at my feet and tell them I'll get back to them on that one.

I am sorry Shias. I am sorry for everything.

Shia Hazara community sits with 86 coffins in the freezing cold of Quetta

I am sorry Shias.
I am sorry for not listening.
I am sorry for not caring.
I am sorry for staying quiet.
I am sorry for not standing up.
I am sorry for not raising my voice.
I am sorry for letting you die.
I am sorry for cornering you in your own country.
I am sorry for burning down your homes.
I am sorry for being more concerned with madmen's crazy antics.
I am sorry for spilling your blood.
I am sorry for listening to trivial excuses to justify your death.
I am sorry for scaring you.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of this country.
I am sorry for inflicting incompetent, drunk and incapable leaders on you.
I am sorry for being too engrossed in my own life to care for your plight.
I am sorry for not protesting.
I am sorry for not thinking.
I am sorry for being soulless.
I am sorry for being so heartless.
I am sorry for not expressing my remorse.
I am sorry for being weak when I should have been strong.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of Pakistan.
I am sorry for symbolizing death and destruction in your life.
I am sorry Shias, for everything. 

2 years later we still don't deserve you Salman Taseer

Salman Taseer

On the day Salman Taseer was murdered, I was invited to a BBC World radio show called World Have Your Say. What I witnessed in the one hour I was part of it has shamed and scarred me forever. The guests on the show, learned Pakistanis belonging to the well-to-do diaspora spent the entire show regaling the baffled listeners with how Salman Taseer deserved to die. They announced to the world they were happy he had been killed. They announced to the world this is what Islam tells us to do. They announced to the world that given the choice, they would love for this to happen again.

I scratched my head and tried to understand what had hit me. Really? Forget Islam, forget Pakistan. Forget Quaid-e-Azam and forget Iqbal. As human beings, is this really what we've sunk to? Pumping 27 bullets into a man just because we disagree with him? But I should have known better. I should have known that this is Pakistan. Logic, debate and argument do not work here. Justice comes to die here. Corruption is rampant and the law of the land is 'might is right'.

I should have known better because in August 2010 two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb were butchered at the hands of a mob in Sialkot. For 7 hours they were beaten while hundreds looked and egged the perpetrators on. Sticks, stones, batons. Nothing was left behind. Their limbs broke. With no respite they passed on. Then their bodies were hung upside down in the town square until someone from their family came and begged the mob to let them be. To let them be. I should have know then that Pakistan had died.

I should have realized that even the self proclaimed saviors of my country are nothing more than a bunch of sorry losers who are incompetent and complicit in perpetrating heinous crimes. Less than two months after the Sialkot incident I was witness to a murder being perpetrated in the middle of a bazaar in Lahore with an army check point less than 700m away. I should have known then that it was hopeless. All this was so hopeless.

And then in January of 2011, we saw how Salman Taseer was gunned downed. The shooter shot him like a coward but he was garlanded and proclaimed a hero. Social scientists will most probably bang their heads together and proclaim what is the matter with these people? But I know what's the matter with them. I know that as a human race we Pakistanis have failed to evolve. Instead we're actually sliding back towards the Dark Age and if left unchecked we'll reach there pretty soon. Vestiges of that era have already begun to show up in our society.

I meant to write this blog as a tribute to the man known to the world as Salman Taseer. But as you've probably realized I simply could not stop thinking about the madness that has engulfed us all. I feel so frustrated and so helpless at my plight. I want to change everything but I know I cannot. Even if I could I wouldn't be allowed to do so. Might is right in Pakistan. Confusion, paranoia and an affinity to chop of any semblance of sanity are the characteristics of my country and my people. And then we ask the world what is wrong with it?

Pakistan did not deserve Salman Taseer because he tried to argue with common sense. He thought he would get away with it but he was wrong. Lack of common sense combined with madness and misguided zealotry caught up with him. I hope he's resting peacefully wherever he is now.

I wish I could wish the same for Pakistan; that it rest in peace too. But it continues to burn brighter and stronger everyday with no let up. I wish it'll stop. I wish a newer and stronger Pakistan will emerge. But that's what it all is. A wish. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

The Taliban apologists and the conspiracy theorists

I never fail to be amazed by the arguments put forth by the conspiracy theorists and the Taliban apologists. The conspiracy theorists amaze me because they say crazy improbable stuff that would make any sane, self thinking man, woman or child laugh their head off.

Exhibit 1:

From Zaid Hamid's official Facebook page

As you can clearly see a lot of people like what they're reading. No matter that it makes no sense. Has no meaning. Sounds really stupid and lame. Yet, these conspiracy theories still attract a lot of people because they provide a means of blaming our terrible problems on somebody who is not us. It is too difficult to acknowledge our mistakes because acknowledging them would mean we would have to fix ourselves, and fixing ourselves simply isn't something we like doing.

Then there's the second kind of people I abhor. I call them the Taliban apologists. What are the Taliban apologists? I'm glad you asked. The Taliban apologists are people who instead of condemning the barbarianism of the Taliban instead try to find ways of defending them by portraying their victims as having deserved what they got.

For example:

Malala Yousafzai is a 14 year old girl from Swat. One day on her way home from school, two Taliban stopped her van, asked who she was then shot her in the head. In the process of attempting to assassinate Malala, they ended up injuring two other girls as well. For the common man this would be it. This would be enough to prove what cowards, vile and depraved animals the Taliban are. For the Taliban apologists, well nothing ever is enough.

A Taliban apologist will conjure scenarios where he will attempt to persuade you that the whole Malala shooting was fake. He will tell you that it was a ploy by the US government to force the Pakistani government to launch an operation in the tribal belt. He will tell you that the Pakistan army is a pawn in America's war. He will tell you Malala was never really shot, and that she is actually an American agent. The problem with the Taliban apologist is that he simply cannot bring himself to accept the fact that America is not somehow responsible for the ills that he is facing in his life. According to the Taliban apologist everything wrong with the world is America's fault. His bathroom tap is broken: America's fault. He has constipation: America's fault. His dog barks in the night: America's fault. Somebody steals his cow: America's fault.

Diagnosis:

The Taliban apologist needs somebody to blame for the misery he has to see everyday, and he ends up blaming America because all his life he has been told time and time again that America is the real root cause of evil; that he is perfect and he can do no wrong; that what he does is correct and what others do is wrong.

You would imagine that the Taliban apologists and conspiracy theorists would go hand in hand? Right? Wrong. You see according to the conspiracy theorists, even though everything wrong with the world is America's fault, they believe that the Taliban, the Pakistani government and anybody who doesn't believe in their garbage is an American agent.

So in essence, there argument goes something like this:

The Taliban shot Malala in the head to force the government of Pakistan to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the Pakistan military to wipe out the Taliban because somehow that will allow Obama to win the 2012 Presidential election.

To me what they're saying is:

The American agents shot an American agent to force the American agent to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the American agent to wipe out the American agents.

Even when you shove the fallacy of their arguments in their face, they will not accept it. They will then label you as an American agent and that will be the end of discussion.

This post could go on for pages but there's no point in dragging it. May Allah have mercy on Pakistan. Amen.

When will you stop shaming me Pakistan?

Look at him and weep because such idiots are leaders in Pakistan (Ghulam Ahmed Bilour)

I woke up early to try and study. Instead I get this thrown in my face:

Pakistani minister announces $100,000 bounty on anti-Islam film maker

I mean seriously, what the fuck? Certain choice words come to my mind but I'd rather not say because they will just make me boil over. I knew this piece of shit known as Ghulam Ahmed Bilour was a strictly speaking fucked up loser with daddy issues but this, this is preposterous. It is because of sons of bitches like him that Pakistan and Pakistanis have lost all moral value in front of the entire world. No that's not true. The events on Friday that left 23 dead are a appropriate yardstick to judge us by.

You wanna know why people want to leave and run away from Pakistan? Well just read, see and hear what he said!

The Federal Minister for Railways Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said that he was aware that it was a crime to instigate the people for murder, but he was ready to commit the crime. He added that there was no way to instill fear among blasphemers other than taking this step. He also called on members of the Taliban and al Qaeda for their support, saying that if members of the banned militant organisations kill the maker of the blasphemous movie, they will also be rewarded.

So ladies and gentlemen the moment we've all been waiting for, the radicalization of society, the mental un-wellness of the Pakistani jackasses in power, the moral turpitude, the black stigma, has arrived. Live it. Breathe it. Feel it. And tomorrow, when somebody from the government gets up and says "we shall wage a war against Al-Qaeda or the Taliban" smack him/her (why be sexist right? They're all equally incompetent and incapable) in the face with the heel of your shoe and tell him/her to sit the fuck back down. YOU want to understand why the world paints us with such a dreaded color? Look no further than what Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said on national TV.

The really sad bit is because of these pieces of utter buffoonery the entire world goes up in arms against every single, normal, clear thinking Pakistani.

And that's when I ask myself this question: When will you stop shaming me Pakistan? When?

Are you seriously kidding me?

Protesters burn US flags and effigies in response to
the blasphemous movie Innocence of Muslims
which was released in the USA

I had an inkling this might happen. When you move away from your home country, you tend to lose track of things happening back home. Of course there is the internet to make sure that you never are really separated from home. I mean, all I had to do to find out what was happening in Pakistan was to visit Dawn.com or Tribune.com.pk and boom, I knew all that I had to know. And then some.

The Islamic parties in Pakistan are what you would normally call a bunch of irrational, ultra right wing hooligans. You won't be wrong. They ended up killing a man today. They also threatened the US government that they would not allow the US consulates in Pakistan to function. They are also under the impression that the US establishment sponsored the creation of the terrible Islamophobic movie that has got the Muslim world up in arms. BUT, the problem is the US establishment does not have as much free time as the Pakistani establishment, neither does it care about the kinds of movies that are made in the country. Also, the US government is much more focused on what's going to happen within the next 50 days when Barack Obama and Mitt Romney come face to face in the race to the White House.

My point is that more than 75% of all Americans don't even know that an Islamophobic movie was made. They do not care that it was made. This (as I've come to realize) is a very liberal and free country. Here freedom of expression extends beyond personal or religious feelings. People say what they like to say without having to face repercussions and that's not necessarily a bad thing. This approach allows people to ask questions without being intimated or feeling inadequate and by asking questions and having a real debate a lot of misconceptions are removed.

Of course a lot of the news websites in the US itself are in a furor over the content of the movie. The New York Times in an article published today lambasted Newsweek for inviting a debate on the Muslim reaction to the movie with the Twitter hastag #MuslimRage. But then Muslims are raging all over the internet aren't they? No wait. They're not because Rehman Malik and Raja Rental in their infinite wisdom have asked PTA to block many websites including Youtube in the country. And if that wasn't enough, Rehman Malik threatened Google Inc. with suspending the visas of its employees. Are you kidding me Rehman Malik? How on earth do you expect Pakistan to even progress just a tiny bit if that is the level you are willing to sink to appease the religious hard liners in Pakistan? I mean, dude seriously. What the fuck is the matter with you?

On Facebook people have expressed their resentment in an awesome way. This is the Facebook status of thousands of Muslims on Facebook:

I know a MAN who lost his parents but refused to be called an orphan. Man enough to love a strong woman years older than him, worked for her and made her stronger, opened his heart to her, shared his fears to no human but her, cleaned after himself and sewed his clothes, and was faithful to her till her last breath. He was courageous and fearless. He never judged anyone on their pasts or looks, and was moderate, open minded and tolerant. His neighbor was Jewish and his cousin-in-law was a Christian priest. Was beaten and exiled when he was helpless. Was merciful when he became stronger. Intelligent, wise and a hard worker, built a long lasting nation out of nothing in the last 20 years of his life. He had no parents, but loved his daughters and grandchildren. His last will was "Be good to women". This MAN is my PROPHET MUHAMMAD (S.A.W.W) a man worth looking up to - peace be upon him - Don't just read, read and think who you are, and who you want to be for the people and the women you love.

Why do we as a society feel the need to literally indulge in self destruction to hammer home a point that for all intents and purposes nobody but the Pakistanis will end up hearing? If these religious parties (or Rehman Malik for that matter) think that by banning Youtube, threatening Google, or giving an ultimatum to the US they can make a point they are so badly mistaken. Nobody in the US gives a damn. 

Pakistan, why you be so sad?

Do you remember the nursery rhymes you learned when you were in kindergarten? Well if you don't, the person in this video (he goes by the name of Edward Reid, and he's awesome. True story!) will not only remind you of them, but positively make you wish that he had sung all those rhymes. But, and this is a big but, what has this got to do with Pakistan you might wonder? The honest answer is nothing. This has nothing to do with Pakistan. And that is exactly why it is so terrible. You see developed countries where education has helped salvage some common sense, creativity such as the one in the video, flourishes. In Pakistan on the other hand, well let's just say Edward Reid would have been beaten to death and his art form would have been decried and pissed upon. We are not a happy people. And because we're not happy, we can never get to enjoy such surreal feats of creativity such as people in the UK or the US or any other developed country for that matter can and do enjoy. All we in Pakistan can do at best is be envious and curse our liege lords for ruining our lives and depriving the masses of education, who if they could understand it, would never sacrifice their tomorrow for today and anoint mad, selfish, hooligans to rule over us. Sad indeed.

You've got it all wrong!

Zero Dark Thirty released in Dec 2012

Over the past couple of months I've watched several western TV shows. Three of them stuck to mind. The first is Sherlock, a British thriller TV series that reincarnates Sherlock in the 21st century. Modern, elegant, crisp and beautifully shot, this TV show has been a particular hit in the UK. The second show that stuck to my mind is Homeland, a US TV series based around the premise (spoiler alert) that two US marines taken captive in northern Iraq have turned on their country, become Muslim and are now sleeper assassins ready to bring down the mighty USA. And finally the third TV show is another US based series called Shameless which is about a dysfunctional family and their various problems. But why am I talking about western television shows you might be wondering? Well I'll tell you why. They've got something very wrong. And that something is the image of Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad.

Now we as citizens of Pakistan know how cool and exciting Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad are. Unfortunately these westerners have absolutely no iota of an idea about their awesomeness and they have depicted them as terror havens with burqa clad women, turbaned mullahs, and terrorists roaming around as if they are on vacation. In Sherlock for example, Sherlock Holmes actually saves someone from getting beheaded in Karachi. In Homeland, Lahore is depicted as being a breeding ground for terrorists, and Islamabad is depicted as having safe houses of terrorists. And in Shameless, well they pretty much bulldoze the entire country in to the ground.

The problem is because the majority of the western population has no idea about Pakistan and its cities, they will more likely than not form negative, unjust and cruel opinions about these Pakistanis cities. They will never get to know about the calmness, serendipity and relaxing charm of Islamabad. They will never get to know about the unique Lahori hospitality, the colorful life, the amazing food (some say its the best food in the world and I agree wholeheartedly) that Lahore offers. And these same people will never get to know that Karachi never sleeps, has malls, parks and recreational places that rival Madrid's, has a diversified and multi ethnic community that happens to be the most educated amongst all of Pakistan's cities.

Homeland is instrumental in depicting Muslims in
bad light

And this is what alarms me most. An average Westerner who watches TV, goes to work, comes back, goes to his regular hang out place with his regular friends will grow old thinking Pakistan is the country where terrorists are born and bred. The whole image of Pakistan stands broken and shattered. It doesn't help our cause that the law and order situation in our cities isn't top notch, but Pakistan simply isn't the country that its made out to be. For example Karachi's problems are no different than Mumbai's so to speak, but while the Indians show the world how fun and classy Mumbai is, we are left with defending Karachi as not being the place where terrorists go to shop.

And this leads me on to my second point. It's all about the image perception. Even though India has some dramatic domestic problems, the world does not get to hear about them. What they do get to see and hear instead are the "Incredible India" ads that show what a classy, true to its roots eastern, modern, vibrant, happy and colorful country it is. Which makes me want to ask this question: Why can't we do the same? Where are our image managers? Oh that's right, we don't have any because nobody cares. What we do have however is a President who is tainted with corruption charges and who refuses to acknowledge those blemishes, we have a Prime Minister who goes to the Supreme Court for disobeying its orders, we have an army that is constantly berated for harboring ties with the militants, we have an administration that is repeatedly told to do more because inadvertently the majority of terrorists are found to have visited Pakistan and most importantly we are the country where Osama bin Laden was found.

We really need to pull our act together and fix our faults. Because even though all of the aforementioned things are true, we know what a great culture and a beautiful country we have. We can't let the world's idea of us ruin our heritage and our pride like this. This propaganda needs to be countered because these festering notions about Pakistan will lead to a greater scrutinization of Pakistan which considering how many problems we already have with the world, will hurt us even more. It's time to show the world what Pakistan really is. It's time to take this cause into our own hands because our elected leaders are incapable of projecting our image the right way.

The Pakistan Memo

By Shahida Mazhar

Leadership is indispensable to Pakistan’s future progress and survival.

In the current Pakistani scenario, we must always have a third option to survive the dirty politics of the two major political parties.

Anyone who can redirect Pakistan to its destined path, as envisioned by, Sir Syed Ahmed Khan, Allama Iqbal and Quaid--e-Azam -- is the third option today.

If Pakistan has to survive as a rational nation, then it must really become Jinnah’s Pakistan and not a Pakistan for ignorant mullahs of Jamaat-e-Islami, who follow the Maududi Doctrine for a theocratic Pakistan. Jinnah fought against the organized mullahs, who preached/practiced 'Theocracy' as the Islamic doctrine.

Jinnah did not want Pakistan to become a theocracy and vociferously debated with the Muslim clerics in United India against it. 

 As citizens of Pakistan our mission today should be to evolve social justice, for deliverance of good governance.

Every Pakistani must speak up, against inequality, corruption, insufficient security, deficient education system, social malaise and healthcare, in order to usher in reforms needed desperately by Pakistan.

The time is over for 'fence sitting' and remaining silent for silence today will mean concurring with the status-quo, which is not an option any longer.

The world is going through epic history making events in the peoples' movements' like the 'Arab Spring' and now the 'Occupy Wall Street' as global citizens. We must get involved, and must play our part in it.

The American people have stood up against its tyrannical establishment, via the 'Occupy Wall Street' movement. Similarly Pakistan must play its correct role, and define its direction today also. As citizens of Pakistan, we have a responsibility to the world, and we need to indentify our mistakes, and then resolve to change our direction. We need to put our mark on history. We may or may not have the same demands yet we have a common front composed of many diversified interests.

Unified we have to confront and solve the most pressing problem of our time. It will not be an exaggeration to say that our survival as individuals, as a society, even as a species depends on it.

I request all Pakistanis, to cross party lines and support the correct person in the next Elections in 2013.

Let us remember that: "Allah will never change the condition of a people unless they first change what is wrong in their hearts" – Al - Quran

About the author: Shahida is an overseas Pakistani deeply devastated by Pakistan's state of affairs. Creating awareness and differentiating between fact and fiction is her passion. She is apolitical and freelances for different blogs from Facebook.

The Pakibots

We have become robots. Some of you may disagree, but I hold my ground and still proclaim that this nation of Pakistanis (or Pakibots as we shall henceforth be called) has turned into robots.

The logical question to ask obviously is why do I claim that an intense transition has happened suddenly to Pakibots? Well as intense as it is, it hasn't happened suddenly. It has taken years, but it has happened.

So, why?

Well we've always been told that robots can feel nothing. No pain, no misery, no anger, no sorrow, no love, no desperation, no tension, and a lot of other things that outsiders think Pakibots might be feeling. But the truth of the matter is (and it is indeed remarkable) that a lot of the Pakistani people stopped feeling, well, feelings. Hence, they became Pakibots.

Pakistanis have stopped feeling outraged. Pakistanis have also stopped using their brains. They do as they are told. How else does one explain the fact that despite the return of the dark age to Pakistan, when pagan customs such as murder of women who give birth to girls, rape of women by members of the so called Islamic organizations, selling and buying of girls for prostitution, infinite growth in the drug trade etc., all become common the Pakistanis are still not robots?

The Pakibots are a first. The first cripple in an increasingly demonized world. Lust and money is what is currently making this world go round and its taking its toll. It already has in Pakistan. Pakistan died. And in the process of its death, it transitioned the nation into robots.

So maybe this new message should be inscribed on plaques that are installed at our international airports and border crossings:

Welcome to Pakistan. The land of no feelings or common sense. The land of the robots.

Heart wrenching

Nobody seems to know from where the Hazaras originated. We only know that they originated. We know they are Pakistanis. We know they love Pakistan. We know they have been oppressed for decades. We now know that they are sick of all this nonsense. We now also know that they want a separate province for themselves.

They don't talk about breaking up Pakistan. They don't talk about a separate homeland. They only talk about their rights which non Hazara people refuse to provide them because they look different, speak different and because they are Shiite in a nation comprising largely of Sunni Muslims.

Barbarianism which has long become a trait identified with Pakistan has reached epic proportions. A couple of days ago a passenger bus carrying 20 people on board (mostly labourers going to the vegetable market to work) was attacked. 13 were killed in cold when non stop bullets were pumped into their bodies. Why you ask? Because they were Shiite Hazara people. Yup. That was their mistake.

On September 19 another similar incident took place. Another passenger bus carrying Shiite Hazara pilgrims to Iran was stopped by gunmen. 26 were slain that day.

I wonder this everyday and my soul aches for an answer but it never seems to be forthcoming. I don't understand why we have become so engrossed in our race and sects. Why we have started to identify people based on their sects, and the way they look. It pains me to see hurt strewn all across the country simply because a few people cannot bear to see a different looking person proclaim that he has a right to the Motherland.

So what if Hazaras want a separate province? We ought to remember that we have forced them up against the wall. So what if Hazaras are Shiite? The whole of Iran is Shiite and yet the Muslims of Pakistan keep reminding each other how great an Islamic nation Iran is to stand up to the USA.

I still don't understand how it went from being everyone's Pakistan to somebody's Karachi and somebody's Lahore and somebody's Quetta. Don't I have any ownership over Quetta? Am I not a Pakistani? Don't Hazaras have any ownership of Karachi because they look different? Aren't we all Pakistanis? Don't I have a right to go anywhere I please in this country? Is the answer no? Is the answer no for everyone?

It is sad. So truly sad. We have failed. People keep saying how broke this country is, but no one ever calls into question how broken this country has become. And just like that we have isolated another minority. The majority has all started cracking down into blocks of minorities. How long before each one of us becomes selfish in our aims and declares war on the very roots of Pakistan?

The confusion within

I have been reading up on a lot of polarized material of late. Polarized meaning those who call themselves liberals (who believe the US and the West is everything, and everything it eschews is absolutely correct) and those who call themselves the saviors of the Muslims (who believe killing the US will solve all our problems). In both instances I have found glaring deficits and discrepancies. Neither side has the capability or the willingness to offer solutions. Both sides are so distrustful of each other and so confused in their own right that they find it impossible to find a middle ground. Hence, there are no grey areas. There is only black and white depending on what you believe in.

I know what I am saying has been said many times before. So let me just cut through the crap and talk about myself. I was a firm believer in the theory that nation states do not have friends or foes. They only have strategic interests. I still believe in that theory to be honest. Based on this theory then I concluded and I pleaded with people to understand that the US is only acting on its interests when it goes to war, or attacks innocents, or maims millions of people. After all, it is the world's largest economy. An economy that boasts of individualism and a narcissistic affinity to money. Any kind of money.

However, I always wondered what the US would gain by destabilizing Pakistan, if for instance I were to agree with this notion. You see I believe very strongly in the idea that to understand and win an argument, you must think and act like the devil as well as the angel. In this case, I know why the US would want to go to wars, carry on the wars it is fighting, would want to get out of Afghanistan etc. But I wondered and wondered as to what possible motive the US could have in destabilizing Pakistan.

On the face of it it would seem like that encouraging the destabilization of Pakistan is akin to the US throwing down the axe on its own foot. But that just sounds contrary to what common sense suggests. But I don't have any answers. I don't know why the US is so intent on doing what it is to ensure that Pakistan keeps going on the back foot until it is finally cornered and pushed up against a wall.

Now since no one seems to know the answer to that (no, the US does not want our weapons; it has a much bigger stockpile of immensely advanced nuclear weapons than we can ever produce) I can only go with what is left. Like Sherlock Holmes said: Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

By that logic the US is genuinely concerned that the Pakistan government would collapse leading to a free for all frenzy which would be hard to contain. And herein lies the US' folly. Like I mentioned before in one of my earlier posts, the US has refused to engage the biggest shareholder in Pakistan: Its people. When and if it realizes this, it will also realize how easy it actually is to win in Pakistan. We're a very loving, loyal and hospitable people. And we are suckers for kindness. When someone is kind to us, we become their loyal pups forever. Case in point, China and Saudi Arabia. Even though we know how both these countries have used us to no end.

So that's how the confusion within rolls around. Would love to hear your views about this. Feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.

O Pakistan... You have been screwed.

Literally. And repeatedly.

This is going to be a short post. Here's the thing. I get frustrated with people when they refuse to understand the obvious. It isn't their fault. Everyone's different, everyone has different views, opinions and ideas. But it just sort of annoys the creeping hell out of me.

Anyway, the title of the post has a literal meaning. Let me just say that the enemy (whoever that maybe) has partially succeeded. Internal strife has now become a regular affair. Other than that, raging division lines have appeared all across the country segregating people by thought with different thought holders looking at each other with the lust of blood in their eyes.

And finally, Pakistan has now become Hypocrisy Central. Hypocrites are as rampant here as the craters and potholes on Barki road.

I do have one final question though. If I were to agree with the opinion that the CIA, Mossad and RAW are following an objective to break up Pakistan, then what is there for them to gain out of our break up?

Anyone?