When the election turns into a selection

Khawaja Asif

Imran Khan likes to refer to Nawaz Sharif as The Godfather because the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom decided to reference “The Godfather” (a fictional book by Mario Puzo) in the Panamagate verdict. He likes to use it because because the analogy reinforces the idea that Nawaz Sharif is a don (head of the PML-N), surrounded by his henchmen (top leadership of the PML-N), running Pakistan’s version of the Sicilian mafia. Today, the Islamabad High Court disqualified another one of Nawaz Sharif’s henchmen — Khawaja Asif, for life. Khawaja Asif said he’ll appeal the verdict in the Supreme Court, but we all see a lost cause when we see one, right?

Or maybe we don’t. This is more fuel to the fire. First, they went after Nawaz Sharif. They technically couldn’t do much to him because hey, nothing — not the offshore companies and not the accursed flats in London —  was actually in his name. They were either under his sons’ names, or they were under Maryam Nawaz Sharif Safdar’s name. So what did they do? They pulled the lamest excuse in the entire universe, that Nawaz Sharif is dishonest and untruthful because he did not declare that he could have received a salary from the company of his son, registered in Dubai, and even though he actually did not receive that salary, he still could have received it, to disqualify him from the prime ministership. You still want to say they weren’t out to get him from the start?

Khawaja Asif’s case is different. He has an iqama of the UAE — a residence visa — which allows him the ability to flitter between Pakistan and Dubai should the going get tough; which it seems to have gotten. But the judges said it was not his iqama that was the problem; it was the fact that he was receiving a monthly salary from Dubai, and had not declared his employment in his nomination papers. This made him ineligible to contest the elections in the first place. In 2017, Usman Dar of the PTI filed a petition challenging the legality of Khawaja Asif’s election and thus, Khawaja Asif was also found dishonest and untruthful much like Nawaz Sharif and now, he’s out on his butt for the rest of his life. The establishment’s blue eyed boy celebrates wild today.

We are part of the democratic process. This means that when a judge passes a ruling, we are bound by our civic duty as upstanding citizens of our country to accept it. But even the judges in this case had to concede that this ugliness has gone on for far too long now. Justice Athar Minallah wrote in the judgement that:

“It would have been been appropriate if the petitioner [Usman Dar of the PTI] had gone to the parliament to deliberate on this matter, before invoking the jurisdiction of the court.” 

But Usman Dar did not go to the parliament. He used the precedent set by the Supreme Court, which weaponized Articles 62 and 63 of the constitution of Pakistan, and used it as a sword to cut off Khawaja Asif’s political legacy.

The judiciary (and by extension, the PTI) has made a complete mockery of the democratic and political process in Pakistan. It is the people of Pakistan who elected Nawaz Sharif, Khawaja Asif, Chaudhry Nisar, Imran Khan, Usman Dar, Jehangir Khan Tareen, Asad Umar, and it should be the people of Pakistan who should decide how to punish those who lie to them. And the ladies and gentlemen that the people of Pakistan have elected to sit in the parliament of Pakistan, should deliberate on what needs to be done to those who violate the sanctity of the oath that they’ve taken. That’s the democratic process.

Instead, we’ve got power hungry maniacs invoking a judicial martial law and using it again and again to fire at those that they’re opposed to. The judiciary’s role is not to adjudicate on the political destiny of Pakistan; that is the job of the parliament and the people of Pakistan. The judiciary’s job is to ensure that due process and the spirit of the law is followed.

As it turns out, the PTI would much rather have the judiciary of Pakistan decide the political destiny of Pakistan, even if it means the spirit of the law gets trampled beneath the heavy boots of irony.

Why I do not support Imran Khan

Azadi March 2014

I do not believe Imran Khan has the skills, or the fortitude to lead this country. The only thing people keep saying in his defense is that we've tried the rest, now we should give him a chance. But he had a chance. That chance is called KPK. He failed miserably.

His foreign policy has no sense or direction, his interior policy is extremely dangerous for the country and his emotional tantrums make him unfit to be an administrator. And because he's made the same tall claims that the rest of our political gentry has made, you can be rest assured he'll fall even more spectacularly than the Sharifs (if they fall of course). By comparison the Sharifs policy of non confrontational politics and reconciliation is a refreshing and welcome change.

Imran Khan's only calling for the resignation of Sharifs because he wants to be the next prime minister. That is it. I would've agreed with him, heck even supported him if his so called freedom march was for accountability of the Lahore genocide; was for electoral reforms; was for drafting new local body rules and elections; was for re-elections in the districts that were found to be rigged (so far all of PTI's petitions have been rejected because they couldn't prove their allegations).

But I am not going to support a pied piper who's deluded himself into believing he is the rightful heir to a throne in Islamabad, and who will kill the system just so he can have his way.

The curse of the Qadri

Tahir Ul Qadri

It was around a year and a half ago that Tahir Ul Qadri was sitting in a heated bullet proof container in front of the Parliament building of Pakistan while thousands upon thousands of people froze in the cold Islamabad night outside. Back then Qadri had arrived on a similar mission to the one he’s about to embark on today - rid the country of its current rulers. He failed miserably. Not only did he let thousands suffer on his behalf, but he also did not achieve anything and left with his tail between his legs. I said at the time that Tahir Ul Qadri is not Pakistan’s promised messiah. I say it again today.

And now tomorrow he arrives with similar ambitions. Thousands of men, women and children will join him in the sweltering heat of Pakistan’s hot summer and all of them will boil under the sun while the self-promised messiah sits inside an air conditioned bullet proof container. After all, who has the time to give a rat’s ass about normal, regular people, right?

The unmistakeable irony of Tahir Ul Qadri’s mission is that he has no stake in the entire process anyway. He’s a Canadian citizen, where he resides most days of the year, and only ever comes to Pakistan on these blitzkrieg missions where he disrupts the lives of thousands of people and then leaves without achieving anything. The man is amoral; he uses religion to propagate his own nefarious designs and agendas and has no qualms about how many precious lives are lost in the process. His claims are as hollow as his gratuitous lies and his claim to fame is based on an absurd tale of deceit, corruption and dishonesty.

But I digress. As a citizen of Pakistan he has a right to protest whatever demonic cause he so chooses. On the other end of the spectrum we have the Sharif brothers who have been trying to run this country like their own private enterprise. Just one problem with that whole plan: Countries don’t work that way. On the day the Punjab police conducted a mini genocide in Model Town Lahore, the Khadim-e-Ala Shahbaz Sharif appeared on TV and said if it is proven that he had anything to do with this massacre he would resign. Of course no one took him seriously because a) he has promised to resign for things so many times it’s like a running joke now and b) as the chief minister of Pakistan’s most prosperous province there was no way in hell that this man did not know what was going on. Was he at a hair salon getting new hair plugs? I hardly think so. So by common logic, go stand in front of metro bus and let it crush you Shahbaz Sharif, you shameless lying twerp.

Saroop Ijaz in an op-ed for the Express Tribune said it brilliantly “…Mian Sahib, we stand with you for the sake of democracy, however for your own sake stand by yourself.” There is heavy truth in those words. Yes, the process of democracy is slow, painful and fragile. It takes time to yield results. But the truth is for the first time in Pakistan’s history it is at a point where we can be hopeful about its outcome. While I am no supporter of Nawaz Sharif or his ilk, I do maintain strongly that the democractic process, one that Tahir ul Qadri is trying to upend, needs to be defended at all costs. This however does not mean that the government needs to go batshit crazy because it is so scared of a pseudo preacher from Canada and his followers. If Qadri wants to protest, then let him protest. If he wants to cry out loud, then let him do that. Democracy is not a one way street. While I disagree with Qadri, I also disagree with the government’s reaction to the arrival of Qadri. The only losers of this confrontation will be us, the normal, regular people of Pakistan.

I thought things in Pakistan couldn’t get worse than the lynching of the two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb Butt, in Sialkot. However since that fateful event I have been proven wrong so many times, I have literally lost count. Selfish men who are out of touch with reality and who have larger than life egos have never been able to make wise decisions. We’re witnessing a prime example of that today.

If Musharraf's a traitor, then Nawaz Sharif isn't that far behind either

Nawaz Sharif and Pervez Musharraf when they were best pals

Khawaja Saad Rafique is a man of many words. Recently, he said:

"There is no doubt that Musharraf is a traitor; he is Pakistan's worst offender."

Technically Musharraf is a traitor. He subverted the constitution of Pakistan for personal gain. But is he Pakistan's worst offender? Well Khawaja saab needs to get a neuro-exam so that he doesn't continue to spout off such utter nonsense.

I have always believed that Musharraf needs to be held accountable for his mistakes. There is no doubting the fact. But I have also always maintained that those baying for his blood need to be held accountable for their actions too. Nawaz Sharif for example lied to the people of Pakistan about his "deal" with Musharraf. Let's go back. His goons trashed the Supreme Court of Pakistan. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. Let's rewind up a bit more. Nawaz Sharif got into bed with Zia-ul-Haq, the madman who slaughtered Pakistan for his hypocritical gains. Maybe Nawaz Sharif needs to be brought to book as well. I mean, when we're calling one person a traitor based on certain parameters, those parameters need to be applied across the board, right?

The hypocrisy needs to stop. If Musharraf's head is rolled, then I suggest everybody else who's responsible for fucking Pakistan up from 1947 also gets the same treatment. If the law is to be applied, it should be applied equally. This selective amnesia that everybody seems to have needs to be checked.

A battle was fought, a battle was lost

If you've been following me on Twitter (if you're not you really should; I'm a delight!), you must've noticed that my tweets have a certain air of despondency about them. It's not like I choose to be sad and melancholy. It's just that the torrid sense of disgust that I find myself entertaining gets too much at times.

It would appear as if Pakistan is fighting for a lost cause and nowhere is this more apparent than on Twitter. The in your face nature of the platform just gives you an idea of how disgusted people are by the whole turn of things and on top of that, you literally sense and feel that they've simply accepted the terrible fate that awaits us all. What has happened Pakistan one might ask? But that would be a pointless question. We all know what has happened. Pakistan is overrun by besotted fools who have no inkling of what is right and what is wrong; who have no moral qualms about the people that die on their watch.

A battle was fought, a battle was lost. The people were tired, the leaders earned their ire. The sun was setting, the dark was emerging. In the darkness hyenas prowled, in their lairs the lions growled. In the distance a glimmer of hope, the glimmer of hope was a shady prop. The darkness soon engulfed them all, and in the process it created a free fall. Society soon sank to its knees, in front of the monsters they kneel and bleed. The monsters refused to move an inch, they thought breaking them was a cinch. The defenders had no choice but to abandon their forts, what could they do they were disavowed by the courts. The looming darkness shrouded all, in the darkness the screams raged tall. 

A battle was fought, a battle was lost.  

Drone strikes kill terrorists

US drone

Yesterday a drone strike killed Wali ur Rehman Mehsud, the 2nd in command of the Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan (TTP). News reports say he was killed with his close aide Fakhr-e-Islam and 5 other Uzbek militants.

When I rejoiced at the thought of this snake being killed in a drone strike on Twitter, a very dear friend of mine pointed out that this is unacceptable and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Normally I'd be prone to agree with him. After all, which country would tolerate another country's weapon of mass destruction firing missiles into its territory?

But these are not normal circumstances. Why does the US feel it has to fire missiles into Pakistan to kill terrorists? Because a) our army does not/dare not go into North Waziristan Agency which has known hideouts of terrorists and b) the Pakistan army has given its blessing to the American drone strike program. And for good measure. Many terrorists have been killed by these very drones that the Pakistani public loves to hate. The government maintains plausible deniability (or used to; recently the US has gone solo on the program so now the government actually has no advance knowledge of a drone strike according to the NYT) and builds up anti US rhetoric which keeps the masses united in their hatred against anything to do with the West and also keeps the terrorists from sparing them (or so they hope!).

Drone strikes have taken out legions of terrorists. According to the Bureau of Investigative journalism, there have 366 drone strikes in Pakistan up to now. Between 2,537 - 3,581 people have been killed in these strikes. Of these people killed between 579 - 1,081 are civilians and children. Whatever way you cut it, that means there's between 1000 - 1500 terrorists who have been killed in these drone strikes. In war there is collateral. And this collateral, between 1000 - 1500, is very limited considering the kind of dangerous animals have been killed.

But of course collateral damage of any kind is unacceptable. And then there's the issue of Pakistan's sovereignty. Ah. The fabled sovereignty. Countries with honest leaders, and honest people have sovereignty. Countries who are willing to fight to the death to defend their honor have sovereignty. Countries who are ready to face long periods of hardship have sovereignty. Iran has sovereignty. Venezuela has sovereignty. Cuba has sovereignty. We only have tatters of indecency which are sold for peanuts. So the myth of Pakistan's sovereignty is just a smokescreen designed to fool the gullible. But let's get back to the drone strikes, and how they violate Pakistan's sovereignty. Fair enough. Why doesn't the Pakistan military shoot down some drones? If we have sovereignty, why doesn't the Pakistan Air Force take down a couple of drones? Show the world we've got some muscle, no matter how puny, and we aren't afraid to use it to defend our honor?

And when the Pakistani people talk about "sovereignty" will they please explain to me where that sovereignty goes when Uzbeks, Tajiks, Afghans and Arabs decide to recreate scenes from Call of Duty on our streets? Uzbeks, Tajiks, Afghans and Arabs are not "Pakistani" people. Will the Pakistani people explain to me how these are "our" people and yet they found it so easy to slaughter 50,000 civilians? Innocent people who had nothing to do with this heinous war? Will the Pakistani people please explain to me what "sovereignty" they talk about when motherless bastards such as Hakeemullah Mehsud order the slaughtering of 130 innocent people in the 10 days before elections just because those people "support" a certain political viewpoint? What sovereignty is there when Pakistani land is allowed to be used to devise and plan terrorism acts WITHIN Pakistan, let alone the rest of the world?

The drones have killed 3500 people. A majority of them terrorists. Terrorists have killed 50,000 people. 46,000 of whom were innocent bystanders, or first responders. 4,000 of whom were military personnel. These are FACTS.

Another point that's objectively raised is will the US allow such drone strikes to occur on its own soil? Of course it won't. It's the world's most powerful country. Other countries dare not touch it. Besides, terrorists are not known to live and train in the US. Terrorists are not known to have safe havens in the US.

Let's get something else clear as well. The love Afghanistan and Afghan Taliban narrative that's eschewed in Pakistan has bitten us on our ass many, many times now. The Afghans have so much hatred for Pakistan, it's unbelievable. Instead we've taken 3.5 million Afghans and given them homes and jobs. The Afghan Taliban, vicious beasts that they are, were the ideology that led to the birth of the Pakistani Taliban. Declan Walsh is right when he says the Pakistani Taliban are a nihilistic organization. Snakes.

Also when you read and research about the objectives of the Pakistani Taliban, it is not to wage a war against the conquering forces. It is establishment of THEIR version of Sharia which as we've clearly seen is bordering on the insane - a far cry from Islam, or any other religion for that matter. So if the Pakistani people think once the US leaves the region things will get back to normal, they are highly mistaken.

Are drone strikes in a moral grey area? Sure. But they've been helpful. They've been helpful in killing the snakes who desecrate the Pakistani people's homes, maim their children, violate their women. And for that, I am thankful for the drone strikes.

And if you still want more certainty, here's a list of the world's most wanted terrorists killed by drone strikes:

1. Nek Muhammad Wazir
2. Haitham al-Yemeni
3. Abu Hamza Rabia (3rd in command of Al Qaeda)
4. Abu Laith al-Libi
5. Abu Sulayman al-Jaziri
6. Midhat Mursi
7. Abu Ubaidah al Tunisi
8. Khalid Habib
9. Abu Jihad al-Masri
10. Rashid Rauf
11. Usama al-Kini
12. Baitullah Mehsud
13. Tohir Yoldosh (leader of Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan - what the hell was he doing in Pakistan?)
14. Ilyas Kashmiri (was supposed to be a successor to Osama bin Laden)
15. Sayeed al-Misri
16. Jamal Saeed Abdul Rahim
17. Bahadur Mansoor (responsible for the FIA HQ bombing in Lahore)
18. Hussain al-Yemeni
19. Hamza al-Jufi
20. Sheikh Fateh al-Misri
21. Wali ur Rehman Mehsud

I've obviously missed out on a lot of other terrorists killed in these strikes but this ought to prove to you their effectiveness. These terrorists are responsible for killing millions of people around the world. Also, most of these terrorists aren't even Pakistani yet were killed in Pakistan. Proves the ineptness of our security apparatus. And yet we still want to blame the US for sending in drones?

Banning CNG in "Corollas"

Toyota Corolla 2012

The title I assume won’t make sense to some. Let me explain. You see in Pakistan the lower income class buys cheap Suzukis (the Mehran… and that’s about it). The middle income class buys Corollas. The XLi and GLi variants. The upper middle class or the wealthy (so to speak) buy Honda Civics. Of late people like Kamran Shafi have taken to Twitter and derided the government for not banning CNG installations and CNG filling in Corollas. Their logic is splendidly stupid, idiotic and nonsensical. They think people who can “afford” to buy a Corolla can also afford the petrol to put in it. Again, let me explain. The price of petrol per liter is around Rs 100-105. The price of CNG per kg is around Rs 75-80. The CNG is a cheaper, cleaner, better mileage fuel which over the long run is cheaper for the masses.

While I understand the need for the government to ban CNG for all cars over 1000cc (which includes all Corollas, and this decree has already been passed by the government) and redirect it to industry and electricity generation, the narrative that Kamran Shafi and his ilk are spreading is borderline imperialistic. No people who own Corollas do not have money growing on trees in their homes. To assume that makes you an idiot. No people who buy Corollas are not the uber rich. Assuming that makes you dumb.

Instead of spewing this crap logic, a more advisable and acceptable way would have been to suggest that Corollas have bigger engines than the puny, crack, tinpot cars that Suzuki sells. Bigger engine means more fuel consumption, which in turn means more natural gas depletion.

The Kamran Shafi problem

When I pointed out this logic to Kamran Shafi he called me “a rude PTI troll”. Now I don’t have much respect for the man to begin with, but whatever iota of respect I did have left in me went south straight away. Despite being a writer, an “analyst”, it just proved what shallow personalities these self professed “important” people of Pakistan have. He is just like the elitist hypocrites of Pakistan. No better, no different. He just has a different face and a different name. If you were to take away his VIP privileges, he would be out and about screaming and threatening you with “you don’t know who I am!!” and “I’ll call XYZ and have your job taken away!!”

See Kamran Shafi? I just made an assumption about you. How does it feel?

Christian houses set on fire. What next?

People throw bricks on a Christian home after setting it on fire

An angry mob set 40 Christian homes on fire today for an alleged incident of blasphemy. Through our past experiences, we already know how farcical these allegations are. But that did not stop the so-called angry mob to spare the homes of Christians who didn't even have anything to do with the whole incident. Who just happened to be living in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Ironically I can bet that this same mob, which thinks it acted as a defender of God's word, has never gone to the mosque to pray, commits sins and adultery, and cheats and blasphemes against God's word everyday. Setting innocent people's houses on fire is the worst form of blasphemy that could ever have been committed. And who is going to prosecute them? What befuddles be is the kind of naivety our security agencies display. The SSP of Lahore for example, said that no houses had been torched. Pictorial and video evidence suggests otherwise.

It's time for the minorities to leave. It's time for the white (which stood for minorities) in Pakistan's flag to be decommissioned. They came for the Ahmadis. Then they came for the Shiites. Now they've come for the Christians. It's only a matter of time before all our necks are hanging out.

And the only reason this has happened is because our douchebag leaders, incapable, insurmountable selfish pricks, have no idea how a country is run. CM Shahbaz Sharif announced a compensation of 0.2 million rupees for the affected. Are you trying to slap an already brow beaten minority? 0.2 million for people who've lost everything? Who have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide? Who don't have their own homes anymore?

I'm a Pakistani and today I'm ashamed to be one. At the very least I wish someone would make an example out of the people who did this today. But that's expecting too much from the likes of Rana Sanaullah who actually hangs out with people who are responsible for such brutal antics. 

This high handedness disgusts me

A child made a metro bus out of milk cartons& wanted to present it to #NawazSharif. Was happy when I got him thru2him twitter.com/MaryamNSharif/…
— Maryam Nawaz Sharif (@MaryamNSharif) February 10, 2013

Earlier today Maryam N. Sharif, daughter of Nawaz Sharif tweeted this pic. Find anything wrong with it? Abhorrent? Disgusting? Sickening? Maybe you see that the "common" person is not "equal" to Maryam N. Sharif and that's why he's sitting on the ground? Maybe you see that Maryam N. Sharif is so high and mighty that she would never actually talk to such a man if it weren't for the many cameras? Maybe you realize the sickening irony of how these leeches have sucked us dry while they role around in moolah? Maybe you find that while this was happening, 200 doctors were arrested who have been on a hunger strike for seven days now? Maybe you found how fake this whole scenario actually is?

I did. So I tweeted this back to her.

@maryamnsharif can you not see the things wrong with this picture? A poor man can never be equal to you, right? Shame on you. All of you.
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 10, 2013

She hasn't bothered replying yet.

The kid appears to be crying. He's sitting on the ground because of course, the mighty madame would consider it her insult to consider him her equal. Of course the common people of Punjab do not deserve to be treated as equals. When have they ever been? But such displays of bullshit make my blood boil. Why are they special and the rest common? Were they conceived by a gold statue? Lest we forget, this lady who pretends to be so humble, and angelic (getting a "common person" through to Nawaz Sharif is akin to a feat of heroic proportions) belongs to the same family who's other female member (daughter of Shahbaz Sharif) had the employee of a bakery beaten up because he told her the bakery was closed and the owner was not in. She sent her "official" thugs (policemen), had the poor sod thrashed and then had a case registered against him. When the media jumped on the bandwagon, Shahbaz Sharif instead of having his daughter arrested (which would have been the noble thing to do) ordered his son in law to appear before the police. Why he was ordered to do that, we shall never know.

The Metro Bus System will fail. And I will tell you why it will fail. It cost Rs 30 billion. It was supposed to be completed in 3 years, instead it was completed in less than 1. The problem with that is quality. They completed the ring road early as well, only to have a bridge fall on top of a truck. This is 8.3 km of elevated track. Quality assurances anyone?

It will also fail because people who use their cars will continue using them. They will not get up and get on the bus out of the blue. They tried this before. They launched the Lahore Transport Company (LTC) once. It failed. They tried to launch it again, this time with green buses which run on CNG. It failed again. In fact there were many instances of vandalism where students refused to pay the fare and thrashed conductors. Now they've launched this, a third time. You know what they say, third time's a charm.

But the biggest reason it will fail is this: The people were not educated enough to be able to use this properly. The people who use this service will be the "common" people. Who will break this like they broke all the other transit systems before. The rich will never use this because it is "beneath" them to travel with the "common" people. And since no one was educated about the benefits, this too shall be relegated to the annals of history.

Instead of launching this first, the Sharif government should have used that money to educate the population of Punjab. Inculcate in the children why Rapid Transit Systems are beneficial and why they need to be used. They could've used the money to set up power plants because now the provinces can do that on their own. But then they wouldn't have been able to show that off as readily as they can show off the red colored bendy buses now could they?

And here's the real irony (if the picture up there wasn't enough), Shahbaz Sharif, Nawaz Sharif, Maryam Nawaz Sharif or any of their family members will never use these buses to get from point A to point B. This was just for show. Show's now over. And they can just go back to living like kings and queens in their palaces, cut off from the rest of the world; the common world.

Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised messiah

In Pakistan messiahs are promised every few minutes. It is said they will come and change the face of the country. But the messiahs we usually get are illiterate, or if they're not illiterate they're still incompetent, useless, backwards thinking, corrupt, compulsive liars, supporters of military rule, anarchists or they have vested interests.

The PPP were the promised messiahs in 2008 when they won the elections. They said they would fix the country, they would catch Benazir Bhutto's killers, they would rid the country of corruption, they would fix the rule of law, they would fix the power situation and so on and so forth. But they failed just like everybody else. Pakistan today has slid to a point where it is bleeding from a thousand cuts. Either it will survive to live another day, or it will go south the way it did in 1971.

Sometimes I actually feel pity for Pakistan. Not the people, not the politicians but for the land itself. Sometimes I wonder to myself that if we could hear the land it would be crying and asking its dwellers what have you done to it. Why have you done what you did?

Now we have another promised messiah  from the shining land of Canada. A man who came out of nowhere and stole the thunder. A demagogue if you will as predicted by Cyril Almeida in this amazing article he published in 2011. But Tahir ul Qadri is not Pakistan's promised. He is not the man to lead Pakistan out of trouble. His character is flawed, his logic skewed and his demands unreasonable and unconstitutional. On top of that he is a compulsive liar.

Last I heard the supreme court has ordered the arrest of Raja Pervaiz Ashraf in the rental power plants corruption case. He is accused of having received kickbacks. Now that another Prime Minister has been removed from his position, it does indeed look like the forces of Qadri and the people funding and supporting him have won. Maybe the government will fail and the nation will rejoice. But that rejoice will be ironical, short lived and catastrophic.

People often ask me what's Pakistan like; is it chaotic, dangerous, serene or picturesque? That's the point where I scratch my head, look down at my feet and tell them I'll get back to them on that one.

I am sorry Shias. I am sorry for everything.

Shia Hazara community sits with 86 coffins in the freezing cold of Quetta

I am sorry Shias.
I am sorry for not listening.
I am sorry for not caring.
I am sorry for staying quiet.
I am sorry for not standing up.
I am sorry for not raising my voice.
I am sorry for letting you die.
I am sorry for cornering you in your own country.
I am sorry for burning down your homes.
I am sorry for being more concerned with madmen's crazy antics.
I am sorry for spilling your blood.
I am sorry for listening to trivial excuses to justify your death.
I am sorry for scaring you.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of this country.
I am sorry for inflicting incompetent, drunk and incapable leaders on you.
I am sorry for being too engrossed in my own life to care for your plight.
I am sorry for not protesting.
I am sorry for not thinking.
I am sorry for being soulless.
I am sorry for being so heartless.
I am sorry for not expressing my remorse.
I am sorry for being weak when I should have been strong.
I am sorry for not letting you be a part of Pakistan.
I am sorry for symbolizing death and destruction in your life.
I am sorry Shias, for everything. 

2 years later we still don't deserve you Salman Taseer

Salman Taseer

On the day Salman Taseer was murdered, I was invited to a BBC World radio show called World Have Your Say. What I witnessed in the one hour I was part of it has shamed and scarred me forever. The guests on the show, learned Pakistanis belonging to the well-to-do diaspora spent the entire show regaling the baffled listeners with how Salman Taseer deserved to die. They announced to the world they were happy he had been killed. They announced to the world this is what Islam tells us to do. They announced to the world that given the choice, they would love for this to happen again.

I scratched my head and tried to understand what had hit me. Really? Forget Islam, forget Pakistan. Forget Quaid-e-Azam and forget Iqbal. As human beings, is this really what we've sunk to? Pumping 27 bullets into a man just because we disagree with him? But I should have known better. I should have known that this is Pakistan. Logic, debate and argument do not work here. Justice comes to die here. Corruption is rampant and the law of the land is 'might is right'.

I should have known better because in August 2010 two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb were butchered at the hands of a mob in Sialkot. For 7 hours they were beaten while hundreds looked and egged the perpetrators on. Sticks, stones, batons. Nothing was left behind. Their limbs broke. With no respite they passed on. Then their bodies were hung upside down in the town square until someone from their family came and begged the mob to let them be. To let them be. I should have know then that Pakistan had died.

I should have realized that even the self proclaimed saviors of my country are nothing more than a bunch of sorry losers who are incompetent and complicit in perpetrating heinous crimes. Less than two months after the Sialkot incident I was witness to a murder being perpetrated in the middle of a bazaar in Lahore with an army check point less than 700m away. I should have known then that it was hopeless. All this was so hopeless.

And then in January of 2011, we saw how Salman Taseer was gunned downed. The shooter shot him like a coward but he was garlanded and proclaimed a hero. Social scientists will most probably bang their heads together and proclaim what is the matter with these people? But I know what's the matter with them. I know that as a human race we Pakistanis have failed to evolve. Instead we're actually sliding back towards the Dark Age and if left unchecked we'll reach there pretty soon. Vestiges of that era have already begun to show up in our society.

I meant to write this blog as a tribute to the man known to the world as Salman Taseer. But as you've probably realized I simply could not stop thinking about the madness that has engulfed us all. I feel so frustrated and so helpless at my plight. I want to change everything but I know I cannot. Even if I could I wouldn't be allowed to do so. Might is right in Pakistan. Confusion, paranoia and an affinity to chop of any semblance of sanity are the characteristics of my country and my people. And then we ask the world what is wrong with it?

Pakistan did not deserve Salman Taseer because he tried to argue with common sense. He thought he would get away with it but he was wrong. Lack of common sense combined with madness and misguided zealotry caught up with him. I hope he's resting peacefully wherever he is now.

I wish I could wish the same for Pakistan; that it rest in peace too. But it continues to burn brighter and stronger everyday with no let up. I wish it'll stop. I wish a newer and stronger Pakistan will emerge. But that's what it all is. A wish. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

Besotted with violence: Who will change mens' attitudes?

Mount Elizabeth Hospital Singapore where the victim passed away

By now most of you know that the victim of the New Delhi bus gang rape in India has died. Along with the Indians a lot of people across the world are still reeling from the shock of the cruelty and utter barbarianism that was meted out to her. A lot of people are still pondering why?

Let's just remind ourselves what happened to her exactly. On December 16, she along with her fiance was coming back after watching a movie. They wanted to go to Dwarka, a place in southwest Delhi when they were tricked into boarding a bus by some men. What happened then is a tale of truly horrendous proportions.

6 men raped her for almost an hour. As if that wasn't enough, they then beat her with an iron rod tearing her intestines. They then threw her, and her fiance from the moving bus onto the road. She was then flown to Singapore where she faced multi organ failure resulting in her death. A 23 year old life, snuffed.

Terrible as it is the pertinent question here is indeed why? Sexual violence against women has long been a characteristic of the subcontinent (both India and Pakistan). Men have traditionally tried to dominate the society and when they have been unable to establish their writ they have tried to do so by harming innocent women. On the other hand people who are supposed to prevent such incidents from taking place (police, state agencies etc.) are usually directed and run by men and that's where the second conundrum starts. Because the society as a whole has failed to educate and evolve, their mindsets are hard coded into laying the blame squarely on the victim.

In this case however, the backlash has been strong and unusually robust. The epic proportions of cruelty notwithstanding, the government of India has still failed to pacify the large number of protestors. Any remedial measures will only serve as a band aid, a temporary fix. Even if the 6 accused are found guilty and hanged, the failed policies will continue to chew away at the social fabric of society.

So how can change be emancipated here?

The dead honest answer is: Through education. You see these heinous crimes take place because as children these men were never taught to respect women, or told that by defiling women's bodies they do not somehow establish their superiority. If the concepts of right and wrong, of equality, of respect, kindness and forgiveness are instilled in children from the get go, society will gradually begin to change. Chemically castrating sex offenders for example, is not going to stop the rape of women. Hanging culprits might silence the large number of protestors but that will not end the stressful lives women have to endure in our part of the world.

Of course there is the fact that while there is talk of some change taking place in India in response to this abhorrent incident, the same cannot be said for Pakistan where women are buried alive and senators stand in the galleys of Parliament and say that it is our customs and no one has the right to talk about it.

It saddens me immensely that people only raise their voices in the subcontinent when innocent lives have been taken. In India it had to be that nameless 23 year old medical student who was going back home after watching a movie. In Pakistan it was the 20 year old Shahzeb Khan who was going to visit his friend. In both cases the voices for change came to late. How long before they die out and we're back to square one?

A version of this blog post appeared on The Express Tribune Blogs: Click here to view it.

The Taliban apologists and the conspiracy theorists

I never fail to be amazed by the arguments put forth by the conspiracy theorists and the Taliban apologists. The conspiracy theorists amaze me because they say crazy improbable stuff that would make any sane, self thinking man, woman or child laugh their head off.

Exhibit 1:

From Zaid Hamid's official Facebook page

As you can clearly see a lot of people like what they're reading. No matter that it makes no sense. Has no meaning. Sounds really stupid and lame. Yet, these conspiracy theories still attract a lot of people because they provide a means of blaming our terrible problems on somebody who is not us. It is too difficult to acknowledge our mistakes because acknowledging them would mean we would have to fix ourselves, and fixing ourselves simply isn't something we like doing.

Then there's the second kind of people I abhor. I call them the Taliban apologists. What are the Taliban apologists? I'm glad you asked. The Taliban apologists are people who instead of condemning the barbarianism of the Taliban instead try to find ways of defending them by portraying their victims as having deserved what they got.

For example:

Malala Yousafzai is a 14 year old girl from Swat. One day on her way home from school, two Taliban stopped her van, asked who she was then shot her in the head. In the process of attempting to assassinate Malala, they ended up injuring two other girls as well. For the common man this would be it. This would be enough to prove what cowards, vile and depraved animals the Taliban are. For the Taliban apologists, well nothing ever is enough.

A Taliban apologist will conjure scenarios where he will attempt to persuade you that the whole Malala shooting was fake. He will tell you that it was a ploy by the US government to force the Pakistani government to launch an operation in the tribal belt. He will tell you that the Pakistan army is a pawn in America's war. He will tell you Malala was never really shot, and that she is actually an American agent. The problem with the Taliban apologist is that he simply cannot bring himself to accept the fact that America is not somehow responsible for the ills that he is facing in his life. According to the Taliban apologist everything wrong with the world is America's fault. His bathroom tap is broken: America's fault. He has constipation: America's fault. His dog barks in the night: America's fault. Somebody steals his cow: America's fault.

Diagnosis:

The Taliban apologist needs somebody to blame for the misery he has to see everyday, and he ends up blaming America because all his life he has been told time and time again that America is the real root cause of evil; that he is perfect and he can do no wrong; that what he does is correct and what others do is wrong.

You would imagine that the Taliban apologists and conspiracy theorists would go hand in hand? Right? Wrong. You see according to the conspiracy theorists, even though everything wrong with the world is America's fault, they believe that the Taliban, the Pakistani government and anybody who doesn't believe in their garbage is an American agent.

So in essence, there argument goes something like this:

The Taliban shot Malala in the head to force the government of Pakistan to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the Pakistan military to wipe out the Taliban because somehow that will allow Obama to win the 2012 Presidential election.

To me what they're saying is:

The American agents shot an American agent to force the American agent to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the American agent to wipe out the American agents.

Even when you shove the fallacy of their arguments in their face, they will not accept it. They will then label you as an American agent and that will be the end of discussion.

This post could go on for pages but there's no point in dragging it. May Allah have mercy on Pakistan. Amen.

When will you stop shaming me Pakistan?

Look at him and weep because such idiots are leaders in Pakistan (Ghulam Ahmed Bilour)

I woke up early to try and study. Instead I get this thrown in my face:

Pakistani minister announces $100,000 bounty on anti-Islam film maker

I mean seriously, what the fuck? Certain choice words come to my mind but I'd rather not say because they will just make me boil over. I knew this piece of shit known as Ghulam Ahmed Bilour was a strictly speaking fucked up loser with daddy issues but this, this is preposterous. It is because of sons of bitches like him that Pakistan and Pakistanis have lost all moral value in front of the entire world. No that's not true. The events on Friday that left 23 dead are a appropriate yardstick to judge us by.

You wanna know why people want to leave and run away from Pakistan? Well just read, see and hear what he said!

The Federal Minister for Railways Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said that he was aware that it was a crime to instigate the people for murder, but he was ready to commit the crime. He added that there was no way to instill fear among blasphemers other than taking this step. He also called on members of the Taliban and al Qaeda for their support, saying that if members of the banned militant organisations kill the maker of the blasphemous movie, they will also be rewarded.

So ladies and gentlemen the moment we've all been waiting for, the radicalization of society, the mental un-wellness of the Pakistani jackasses in power, the moral turpitude, the black stigma, has arrived. Live it. Breathe it. Feel it. And tomorrow, when somebody from the government gets up and says "we shall wage a war against Al-Qaeda or the Taliban" smack him/her (why be sexist right? They're all equally incompetent and incapable) in the face with the heel of your shoe and tell him/her to sit the fuck back down. YOU want to understand why the world paints us with such a dreaded color? Look no further than what Ghulam Ahmed Bilour said on national TV.

The really sad bit is because of these pieces of utter buffoonery the entire world goes up in arms against every single, normal, clear thinking Pakistani.

And that's when I ask myself this question: When will you stop shaming me Pakistan? When?

Are you seriously kidding me?

Protesters burn US flags and effigies in response to
the blasphemous movie Innocence of Muslims
which was released in the USA

I had an inkling this might happen. When you move away from your home country, you tend to lose track of things happening back home. Of course there is the internet to make sure that you never are really separated from home. I mean, all I had to do to find out what was happening in Pakistan was to visit Dawn.com or Tribune.com.pk and boom, I knew all that I had to know. And then some.

The Islamic parties in Pakistan are what you would normally call a bunch of irrational, ultra right wing hooligans. You won't be wrong. They ended up killing a man today. They also threatened the US government that they would not allow the US consulates in Pakistan to function. They are also under the impression that the US establishment sponsored the creation of the terrible Islamophobic movie that has got the Muslim world up in arms. BUT, the problem is the US establishment does not have as much free time as the Pakistani establishment, neither does it care about the kinds of movies that are made in the country. Also, the US government is much more focused on what's going to happen within the next 50 days when Barack Obama and Mitt Romney come face to face in the race to the White House.

My point is that more than 75% of all Americans don't even know that an Islamophobic movie was made. They do not care that it was made. This (as I've come to realize) is a very liberal and free country. Here freedom of expression extends beyond personal or religious feelings. People say what they like to say without having to face repercussions and that's not necessarily a bad thing. This approach allows people to ask questions without being intimated or feeling inadequate and by asking questions and having a real debate a lot of misconceptions are removed.

Of course a lot of the news websites in the US itself are in a furor over the content of the movie. The New York Times in an article published today lambasted Newsweek for inviting a debate on the Muslim reaction to the movie with the Twitter hastag #MuslimRage. But then Muslims are raging all over the internet aren't they? No wait. They're not because Rehman Malik and Raja Rental in their infinite wisdom have asked PTA to block many websites including Youtube in the country. And if that wasn't enough, Rehman Malik threatened Google Inc. with suspending the visas of its employees. Are you kidding me Rehman Malik? How on earth do you expect Pakistan to even progress just a tiny bit if that is the level you are willing to sink to appease the religious hard liners in Pakistan? I mean, dude seriously. What the fuck is the matter with you?

On Facebook people have expressed their resentment in an awesome way. This is the Facebook status of thousands of Muslims on Facebook:

I know a MAN who lost his parents but refused to be called an orphan. Man enough to love a strong woman years older than him, worked for her and made her stronger, opened his heart to her, shared his fears to no human but her, cleaned after himself and sewed his clothes, and was faithful to her till her last breath. He was courageous and fearless. He never judged anyone on their pasts or looks, and was moderate, open minded and tolerant. His neighbor was Jewish and his cousin-in-law was a Christian priest. Was beaten and exiled when he was helpless. Was merciful when he became stronger. Intelligent, wise and a hard worker, built a long lasting nation out of nothing in the last 20 years of his life. He had no parents, but loved his daughters and grandchildren. His last will was "Be good to women". This MAN is my PROPHET MUHAMMAD (S.A.W.W) a man worth looking up to - peace be upon him - Don't just read, read and think who you are, and who you want to be for the people and the women you love.

Why do we as a society feel the need to literally indulge in self destruction to hammer home a point that for all intents and purposes nobody but the Pakistanis will end up hearing? If these religious parties (or Rehman Malik for that matter) think that by banning Youtube, threatening Google, or giving an ultimatum to the US they can make a point they are so badly mistaken. Nobody in the US gives a damn. 

Celebrating Pakistan's independence day. Or not.

Yours sincerely, Pakistan

I've always wondered why we celebrate our independence day on 14th August. I mean Pakistan gained independence from the Indian subcontinent at 00:00 hours on the night of 14th and 15th August. Which technically means we were independent on the 15th of August because 00:00 hours signify the next day. But of course in our inadvertent desire to be distinguished from India, we decided we would celebrate our independence day a day earlier than reality. But of course that is neither here, nor there.

Over the past many years I have celebrated 14th August with a lot of fanfare and joy. I have found something to celebrate even if it is pinning that tiny pin up flag that's sold for Rs 10 to the front of my shirt. I have bought many small paper flags strung together and hung them on my house's balcony much like the Americans' fetish with TP (toilet papering). I have bought firecrackers and something called a "sootur bum" which is like a very dangerous kind of firecracker. In my time I have thrown firecrackers into a squash court just to hear that unbelievable blasting sound that actually caused guards to come rushing to the sports complex. I have taken part in the mandatory night parade celebrations of 13th August on Rawalpindi's famous Murree road. So yeah. I've celebrated. A lot.

This year is different though. I didn't get any of those celebratory pangs of joy that precede 14th August. Maybe its got something to do with my mood. I am in a bit of grey mood nowadays if I'm honest. But I think my lack of joy has less to do with my mood and more to do with the environment of my country. I have experienced first hand corruption, nepotism, jobbery, ineptness, hypocrisy, impatience and a lot of other traits that have come to define the Pakistani strata. I have seen people not care. I have seen people die. I have seen law enforcers breaking laws. I have snapped. I have given the finger to many policemen escorting VIPs because they told me to back off and not cross the car of the motherfucking prick they're escorting. I have become angry. I have lost patience. I have lost the dream of seeing a happy, prosperous Pakistan.

Pakistan is just a geographical identity. Pakistan is a bit of land sandwiched between Afghanistan and India. What makes Pakistan, Pakistan, are the people who live in this land. Sometimes those people do amazing things. Sometimes they become lazy inept losers. This year those people are morbid. This year 14th August doesn't have the same joy. This year those people have killed 14th August.

I wish I had the same energy that I had last year during 14th August. But when my grand vision has been shattered and my joy reduced to nothing, there is nothing left for me to call that energy upon and expend it. I wish this 14th August was a happy one. I wish we could sing and dance, and laugh and play. We can't. Because our idea of 14th August which had already been reduced to a mundane display of flags and firecrackers is nothing more than that. A flawed idea.

A happy albeit subdued independence day everyone. May God bless us all. May God bless Pakistan. 

Pakistan, why you be so sad?

Do you remember the nursery rhymes you learned when you were in kindergarten? Well if you don't, the person in this video (he goes by the name of Edward Reid, and he's awesome. True story!) will not only remind you of them, but positively make you wish that he had sung all those rhymes. But, and this is a big but, what has this got to do with Pakistan you might wonder? The honest answer is nothing. This has nothing to do with Pakistan. And that is exactly why it is so terrible. You see developed countries where education has helped salvage some common sense, creativity such as the one in the video, flourishes. In Pakistan on the other hand, well let's just say Edward Reid would have been beaten to death and his art form would have been decried and pissed upon. We are not a happy people. And because we're not happy, we can never get to enjoy such surreal feats of creativity such as people in the UK or the US or any other developed country for that matter can and do enjoy. All we in Pakistan can do at best is be envious and curse our liege lords for ruining our lives and depriving the masses of education, who if they could understand it, would never sacrifice their tomorrow for today and anoint mad, selfish, hooligans to rule over us. Sad indeed.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I've just finished reading Irfan Hussain's article in today's Dawn. Normally I hold great respect for the man, but on certain fundamental points (like Pakistan's sovereignty for instance) I disagree with him to the extent of no reconciliation. His musings in today's newspaper fall in the latter category for me.

Irfan Hussain has benignly accused the government of being incapable of growing a pair when its required. Instead he accuses the government of hiding behind a facade, a mummer's farce if you will, so that it doesn't have to deal with the ugly realities of life. But on what points one may ask? Well on the point of the USA and its demonic stance of droning over Pakistan. Now I am all for these drone attacks because as we've seen they were an excellent way of killing Behtullah Mehsud and several others of his ilk. Unfortunately after this point is where I begin to differ significantly with Irfan Hussain. While he believes the government shouldn't have put the matter of the NATO supply routes before the parliament, I believe that's one of the democratic things this government has done.

Let me explain. Irfan Hussain says that because the government has decided to take this matter to the Parliament, it will be unable to maneuver around and show flexibility when the need arises to take some drastic measures as the people, and everybody in the Parliament will cause an uproar about how the will of the people wasn't taken into account. Essentially, Irfan Hussain is advocating that the government behave in a totally autocratic manner and take unilateral decisions which in essence amounts to licking the US of A's ass. Now I don't know from where he's getting these notions because if I remember correctly, he used to take very strong objection when this government or the previous government used to by pass Parliament in taking foreign policy level decision. Isn't this why he was always on Musharraf's case all the time? Well to really hit the nail on the head, isn't this extremely hypocritical?

While the thought of Pakistan licking USA's ass might get Irfan Hussain off, other self respecting Pakistani citizens such as myself realize that while it may be next to impossible to break the shackles of slavery vis-a-vis the USA, there needs to be a starting point.  The government's decision to involve the Parliament in the decision making process is 100% correct. The Parliament symbolizes the will of the people. Unfortunately for Irfan Hussain that will currently states that the USA can go to hell (but he needn't worry; our government isn't yet strong enough to say that to the USA, and probably never will be). In addition, by involving the Parliament the government is doing the legitimate and right thing. It is standing by its institutions. This also sets a precedent where all future significant foreign policy designs and ventures will be executed by the majority of the elected representatives leading up to across the board accountability.

Now Irfan Hussain can shimmy up to the USA all that he wants but let's get one thing clear. In a democracy, the majority needs to agree and be on board so that if God forbid things start to unravel, they can be patched up quickly. If the government does take a unilateral action, it will simply lose all credibility with the masses and then we would be forced to ask the question, why did we ever kick Musharraf out of the picture anyway because as I recall, he was really good at this doing-things-my-own-damn-way thing?

Stay in your limits, general

Can't say anything to the military, that's treason; can't say anything to the judiciary, that's contempt of court; can't say anything to the Mullahs, that's blasphemy; but the Prime Minister, President and Parliament, let's lynch them because it is our democratic right.

Or so read the Facebook statuses of thousands of Pakistanis. And apparently also on Twitter. So why is everybody being so queasy about treason and contempt of court and blasphemy? Well that's because the lot of Pakistanis with some common sense and rationality are increasingly being cornered with no way.

PM Gilani in an interview to a Chinese daily hinted that the replies filed by the Chief of Army Staff General Kayani and the Director General ISI General Pasha were unconstitutional and held no legal merit. He of course forgot that they were both respondents who were served notices by the court directly and then had to reply to the court with or without Gilani's approval.

Now we know that Gilani is not a very clever man and doesn't think things through properly. But we have been led to believe like the little black sheep who only bleat and follow whatever comes in their way, that Kayani is super perfect and that he has Kim Jong Il type powers of awesomeness. In addition we have also been told rather repeatedly that because Kayani is so perfect, he can never do any wrong. Oh how sorry were we.

You see in response to Gilani's rather stupid hinting capabilities, Kayani hit back at the "civilian democracy" in the place where it hurts the most. Kayani via an army statement said that Gilani's statement could have "serious ramifications" for Pakistan. But hold your horses! He further goes onto threaten the civilian baddies with "potential grievous consequences for the country."

As a citizen of this poor, shunned, brow beaten shell of a country that this once was, I stand hurt and well mighty damn angry. How dare Kayani who is nothing more than a grade 22 officer threaten the democratic institutions of Pakistan? Who does he think he is? Does he think he is God (naaoozubillah)? Does he have a magic wand that he will wave and make the problems of Pakistan go away? Oh wait. That can't be it because he was asleep in his king size bed at home when Pakistan's sovereignty was raped for 2 whole goddamn hours on May the 2nd!

It pains me, disgusts me and shames me that even now there are people in this country who support a martial law imposition; who think Kayani coming to the helm of affairs will fix everything. Well let me just bust your bubble: It will not. The favourite argument of these self professed cleansers of Pakistan is that because Zardari is corrupt, he has done corruption. Because he has done corruption, his whole party has done corruption. Because PPP has done corruption, the army needs to come to fix everything. Wrong!

So Zardari is corrupt and Gilani is stupid and Firdaus Ashiq Awan is an affront to the intelligence of women, the fact of the matter is they are only criticised because there are no "ramifications". Because criticizing them will not land you in jail, or your deathbed. Let's talk about another type of corruption today shall we?

Rs 800 billion was allotted to the army last year. Rs 800 billion. Now let's recount what took place last year. First there were the drone attacks. But it turns out Kayani was hand in glove with the Americans on that one. Let's all laugh about how stupid we all were for thinking the army was defending the frontier while in fact they were the ones providing spot locations for drone attacks. And lest you forget I'm all for drone strikes to wipe out militants. I'm just amazed at the sheer hypocrisy of those (read: army) who proclaim that the Americans will not be allowed to toy with our sovereignty. What sovereignty do they talk about? But I digress. Then came May the 2nd. A day that will forever go down in history as being the day when Pakistan lost all morality in the comity of nations. Why didn't our army defend us? Why didn't our Air force defend us? Why didn't the army shoot down the raiding American helicopters while they fluttered about in Pakistani airspace for two hours? Why didn't the army take action when all the action could in fact have been live from the Pakistan Military Academy? Why? And when the civilian baddies tried to fix that (via the Memogate, wrong method but correct intentions) the army just got pissed. What about the navy base attack? When 4 "Star Trek" characters set a whole base on fire and laid siege to it for 16 hours. How incompetent is our army? Even with Rs 800 billion a year in its pockets. And they talk about defeating India in war when can't even defend their own shoddy selves. Why does no one talk about this corruption?

And lest we forget, yes Kayani is the rat bastard who is responsible for putting this country under the water and making it sink. Now he trespasses the halls of morality but let me jog your memory. In 2007 Musharraf wanted an NRO with Benazir Bhutto. He sent his DG ISI to draft an agreement and get it signed. That agreement was called NRO. And who was that DG ISI, the architect of that agreement? Why yes it was Kayani. Who rules this country behind the facade of Gilani and Zardari? Why it's Kayani. And who has burnt this country down and sold it to the dogs? Why yes, it is indeed Kayani.

I don't have a problem with the army, or the soldiers who stand day and night watching these insolent generals who have nothing better to do than to fart all over the destiny of Pakistan. I have a problem with the generals. Making Kayani the chief executive will be the final nail in the Pakistan's coffin. Let's make that clear.

So how do we go about sorting through this mess? By letting the PPP complete its 5 years in power. You see we have now seen how inept the PPP has been in power. In the next elections people like me who have never voted before, are going to vote it out of power and vote somebody better in its place and so on and so forth. But instead if Kayani comes to the helm, well then bye bye Pakistan. You were truly loved and you will sorely be missed.

By linking the performance of the governments to the voting process and by empowering the common people, in only 20 years' time this country will be a much, much better place than it is today. People themselves will see how democracy is a million times better than the army mounting coups. Kayani should not sully the good name of all those nameless soldiers who have died, who stand upright during the night to protect his highness, and who when the time comes become brothers to those Pakistanis who need them. Kayani would be well advised to keep his fantasies to his self. Kayani should stay within his limits.