The Taliban apologists and the conspiracy theorists

I never fail to be amazed by the arguments put forth by the conspiracy theorists and the Taliban apologists. The conspiracy theorists amaze me because they say crazy improbable stuff that would make any sane, self thinking man, woman or child laugh their head off.

Exhibit 1:

From Zaid Hamid's official Facebook page

As you can clearly see a lot of people like what they're reading. No matter that it makes no sense. Has no meaning. Sounds really stupid and lame. Yet, these conspiracy theories still attract a lot of people because they provide a means of blaming our terrible problems on somebody who is not us. It is too difficult to acknowledge our mistakes because acknowledging them would mean we would have to fix ourselves, and fixing ourselves simply isn't something we like doing.

Then there's the second kind of people I abhor. I call them the Taliban apologists. What are the Taliban apologists? I'm glad you asked. The Taliban apologists are people who instead of condemning the barbarianism of the Taliban instead try to find ways of defending them by portraying their victims as having deserved what they got.

For example:

Malala Yousafzai is a 14 year old girl from Swat. One day on her way home from school, two Taliban stopped her van, asked who she was then shot her in the head. In the process of attempting to assassinate Malala, they ended up injuring two other girls as well. For the common man this would be it. This would be enough to prove what cowards, vile and depraved animals the Taliban are. For the Taliban apologists, well nothing ever is enough.

A Taliban apologist will conjure scenarios where he will attempt to persuade you that the whole Malala shooting was fake. He will tell you that it was a ploy by the US government to force the Pakistani government to launch an operation in the tribal belt. He will tell you that the Pakistan army is a pawn in America's war. He will tell you Malala was never really shot, and that she is actually an American agent. The problem with the Taliban apologist is that he simply cannot bring himself to accept the fact that America is not somehow responsible for the ills that he is facing in his life. According to the Taliban apologist everything wrong with the world is America's fault. His bathroom tap is broken: America's fault. He has constipation: America's fault. His dog barks in the night: America's fault. Somebody steals his cow: America's fault.

Diagnosis:

The Taliban apologist needs somebody to blame for the misery he has to see everyday, and he ends up blaming America because all his life he has been told time and time again that America is the real root cause of evil; that he is perfect and he can do no wrong; that what he does is correct and what others do is wrong.

You would imagine that the Taliban apologists and conspiracy theorists would go hand in hand? Right? Wrong. You see according to the conspiracy theorists, even though everything wrong with the world is America's fault, they believe that the Taliban, the Pakistani government and anybody who doesn't believe in their garbage is an American agent.

So in essence, there argument goes something like this:

The Taliban shot Malala in the head to force the government of Pakistan to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the Pakistan military to wipe out the Taliban because somehow that will allow Obama to win the 2012 Presidential election.

To me what they're saying is:

The American agents shot an American agent to force the American agent to launch an operation in the tribal belt using the American agent to wipe out the American agents.

Even when you shove the fallacy of their arguments in their face, they will not accept it. They will then label you as an American agent and that will be the end of discussion.

This post could go on for pages but there's no point in dragging it. May Allah have mercy on Pakistan. Amen.

Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi: Propaganda at its best

Zaid Hamid. 

The problem with Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi is simple. They’re stupid. They talk and advocate nonsense. They fabricate lies and pass them off as facts. The really sad bit to their hypocritical performance is this though: They use Islam as a tool for their propaganda.

For those of you who don’t know who Zaid Hamid or Ahmad Quraishi is, please Google the gents. And then laugh your heads off. Yes Zaid Hamid is the man who claims everything in Pakistan is India’s fault, while Ahmad Quraishi claims America has formed an unholy alliance with Israel and India to torment Pakistan. These two men also pretend that Pakistan is the centre of the universe and that the world instead of revolving around the sun revolves around Pakistan.

But the problem with Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi is not limited to their stupidity. You see they make us look bad. How? Well they claim to be Pakistani and therefore (since the majority of us are not as notoriously famous as them) the world assumes all of Pakistan’s population is as mad and lost in the head as these two. They also make the Pakistan army look bad because they claim to safeguard the army’s interests and everybody points at the army and laughs at it about how it has these two stalwarts of complete idiocy trying to defend its honour. They also make Pakistan look bad because a) Pakistan is not the centre of the universe and b) they have “fans” who believe the bullshit these two minions of hypocrisy, lies and fake stories come up with.

Now I know I’m wasting my time talking about these two self declared gods of Pakistan’s destiny but bear with me. You see I came across something very astonishing today, something that has the potential of ruining Ahmad Quraishi’s very existence. Click here to see screen shots of Ahmad Quraishi’s official Facebook page where during a discussion with his “fans” he blurted out the truth about David Ben Gurion; something that I’ve been saying forever but of course vindication coming from the source itself is something else. Ahmad Quraishi claims that spreading lies and propagating falsehood to promote one’s ideology is correct because the other side (India, USA, Israel etc) also does it. And then as an example he says how the lie about David Ben Gurion’s speech that was fabricated to unite the Pakistani nation against the Jews worked so flawlessly.

Now what does one say to this sheer blatant exploitation of the masses? Of course the “righteous” Mr Ahmad Quraishi has no shame and therefore he did not go jump of a bridge into the Nullah Leh but oh well. How do Ahmad Quraishi and Zaid Hamid expect the people to believe them when they’re propagating, promoting and preaching lies and falsehood? I wonder if Ahmad Quraishi knows that there are many people like me who only visit his website when they’re bored and they feel like laughing.

Only recently two articles appeared in the Express Tribune by George Fulton, a naturalized Pakistani who has left Pakistan to seek greener (read safer) pastures for his family. The articles focus on the inherent hypocrisy of the Pakistani state, of the dishonest people and the corrupt infrastructure. Of course that is all true and no one can deny that. But what Ahmad Quraishi and his ilk had to say was that George Fulton was a racist who called Pakistanis degenerates. If Mr Ahmad Quraishi would have used his pea sized brain, he would’ve realized that Geroge Fulton was one of us; he was a Pakistani. He had every right to criticize this system of which he was a part, and this country which was his home. Sadly, it is people like Mr Quraishi who are racists and who could not accept a “Gora” becoming a Pakistani; they also could not accept a Pakistani who pointed out his own country’s shortcomings instead of India’s or Israel’s or the USA’s.

Since Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi are so fascinated by India, let me bust another of their bubbles. Zaid Hamid keeps threatening India with war and how we will destroy it till the “paleed” Hindus rot in hell. Well let me put this question to him and his ilk: Have you ever wondered why the Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah spent all of his entire adult life fighting for an independent state for the Muslims of the subcontinent? Yes, that is right. So that we could be free and safe. He did not spend his years vying for the leadership of the Indian subcontinent where the Hindus are a distinct majority and who would then paralyse the system till the Muslim rulers abdicated, or were burnt to the ground.

And what do these messiahs of Pakistan’s destiny want us to do? Conquer India? And then what? What are we going to do with a billion plus “paleed” Hindus? Slaughter them? The logic is simple. Even if we conquer India (dream on Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi), the majority of the Hindus is so overwhelming, the whole system will be paralysed. The Muslim “rulers” of the Indian subcontinent will not be able to do jack if that happens. That is why we have a separate country. So that we can do what we want in a place where we ARE the majority.

To cut to the chase, Khalifa King Zaid Hamid and Khalifa Prince Ahmad Quraishi can go on living in a Utopia. The writing on the wall is this: You couldn’t fix your own country, and you talk about fixing a country that is 7 times our size. Yeah right. 

A response

InshaAllah. (Photo: Ivarfjeld.wordpress.com)

People have so many issues in life. People have so many issues in life with yours truly. There are those who call me a lying, bungling useless jock of a guy who has too much free time on his hands and has nothing better to do than type away aimlessly, and for good measure quite pathetically, on his keyboard spewing up hatred for XYZ people. Then there are those who proclaim that they are going to defend the “ideological borders” of Pakistan and turn it into a fortress of Islam from whose murky depths the Great Awakening shall raise. They also question my intentions and believe I am the new spokesperson of RAW, the Indian intelligence agency. Still there are those who are pissed at me for being pissed at everyone. It is quite impossible to keep everyone happy at the same considering you have a brain, two eyes and two hands to type away incessantly at your keyboard.

I am not here to defend my views. I believe everyone has the right and entitlement to form their own unique and diverse views. I realize I upset a lot of people with my thoughts and views but then, I do believe I am entitled to believe what I want to believe. So for instance, I severely doubt the incumbent proposition that Pakistan is Madina-e-Sani. Let me not hide behind a facade of mockery or ill-will here. Let me state that the term Madina-e-Sani has been coined by Mr Zaid Hamid and I strictly disagree with his concourse. I do believe that instead of preaching us war with India, it would be more prudent to adopt a line of dialogue and constructive trust building measures to thrash out our differences. After all, doesn’t Islam ask us to be good and kind to everyone? I wonder why we have to harp on about the decimation of “kaafirs” and “paleed Hindus” when Allah has expressly told us they’re going to rot in hell. I also wonder how a country can be Madina-e-Sani when its people are busy in selling and buying prostitution, indulge in rampant and leisurely corruption, and take God’s name to murder innocent people. Maybe if Mr Zaid Hamid had cared to follow up on his original premise of preaching God’s word to the ignorant rather than capitalise on the anti-India sentiment prevalent in Pakistan, I might’ve found something to admire in the man.

And then there is the question of my loyalties. No, I am not a RAW agent. Just because I dare to question the wrong policies, attitudes and beliefs that prevail in Pakistan does not mean I hate my country. And also, if I tell people to admit the mistakes that we as a nation have made, I don’t think that entitles me to hell in any way. After all, don’t we all teach our kids to own our mistakes regardless of what the opposing party has done or not done? People tell me Shariat and Islam is the only way forward for Pakistan. They quote Iqbal and tell me the things that they hear from Mr Zaid Hamid but when someone asks them what they have to say to the notion that Iqbal did not leave what Islam would constitute a “moral” life, they say that it doesn’t matter. Why? Why doesn’t it? Is Islam a toy that is to be used when it is wanted to be used, and discarded when it intrudes on personal space? Is this a joke? My only wish is for people to drop this pretentious, hypocritical air that maintain around them. It would be good for everyone to start facing and accepting reality as it is.

No one is absolving the US of any blame. Yes they have committed wrongs, but so what? Does our blaming them make everything right? Does it absolve us of our wrongs? The key to survival is to be smart, not whining donkey. So while it is great to look at history and see who went wrong where, who wronged whom, and who is responsible for the mess we find ourselves in, it is equally pertinent to note that it is we ourselves, who will have to roll out of this mess. Our enemies and foes will not do that no matter how much we whine. We need to learn to accept our mistakes without stating India has hundreds of consulates in Afghanistan. Fact is they only have 5. We need to stop blaming CIA, Mossad, RAW for all our ills because the evil that we commit against each other outweighs everything. Unless we can find a solution to our home grown menaces, there is no point of harping on about them. That is what I believe. You are of course, entitled to believe what you want to.