TimeScapes

Sometimes when you feel you have the world's weight on your shoulders, its good to simply let go and realize how small your problems really are. The universe is vast. And it is stunningly beautiful. This is one video that tries to express that beauty. It's called TimeScapes by Tom Lowe. It's been shot in 4K UHD (Ultra Hi-Definition) format using Red Epic and Cannon RAW still cameras. And it is amazing.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I've just finished reading Irfan Hussain's article in today's Dawn. Normally I hold great respect for the man, but on certain fundamental points (like Pakistan's sovereignty for instance) I disagree with him to the extent of no reconciliation. His musings in today's newspaper fall in the latter category for me.

Irfan Hussain has benignly accused the government of being incapable of growing a pair when its required. Instead he accuses the government of hiding behind a facade, a mummer's farce if you will, so that it doesn't have to deal with the ugly realities of life. But on what points one may ask? Well on the point of the USA and its demonic stance of droning over Pakistan. Now I am all for these drone attacks because as we've seen they were an excellent way of killing Behtullah Mehsud and several others of his ilk. Unfortunately after this point is where I begin to differ significantly with Irfan Hussain. While he believes the government shouldn't have put the matter of the NATO supply routes before the parliament, I believe that's one of the democratic things this government has done.

Let me explain. Irfan Hussain says that because the government has decided to take this matter to the Parliament, it will be unable to maneuver around and show flexibility when the need arises to take some drastic measures as the people, and everybody in the Parliament will cause an uproar about how the will of the people wasn't taken into account. Essentially, Irfan Hussain is advocating that the government behave in a totally autocratic manner and take unilateral decisions which in essence amounts to licking the US of A's ass. Now I don't know from where he's getting these notions because if I remember correctly, he used to take very strong objection when this government or the previous government used to by pass Parliament in taking foreign policy level decision. Isn't this why he was always on Musharraf's case all the time? Well to really hit the nail on the head, isn't this extremely hypocritical?

While the thought of Pakistan licking USA's ass might get Irfan Hussain off, other self respecting Pakistani citizens such as myself realize that while it may be next to impossible to break the shackles of slavery vis-a-vis the USA, there needs to be a starting point.  The government's decision to involve the Parliament in the decision making process is 100% correct. The Parliament symbolizes the will of the people. Unfortunately for Irfan Hussain that will currently states that the USA can go to hell (but he needn't worry; our government isn't yet strong enough to say that to the USA, and probably never will be). In addition, by involving the Parliament the government is doing the legitimate and right thing. It is standing by its institutions. This also sets a precedent where all future significant foreign policy designs and ventures will be executed by the majority of the elected representatives leading up to across the board accountability.

Now Irfan Hussain can shimmy up to the USA all that he wants but let's get one thing clear. In a democracy, the majority needs to agree and be on board so that if God forbid things start to unravel, they can be patched up quickly. If the government does take a unilateral action, it will simply lose all credibility with the masses and then we would be forced to ask the question, why did we ever kick Musharraf out of the picture anyway because as I recall, he was really good at this doing-things-my-own-damn-way thing?

You've got it all wrong!

Zero Dark Thirty released in Dec 2012

Over the past couple of months I've watched several western TV shows. Three of them stuck to mind. The first is Sherlock, a British thriller TV series that reincarnates Sherlock in the 21st century. Modern, elegant, crisp and beautifully shot, this TV show has been a particular hit in the UK. The second show that stuck to my mind is Homeland, a US TV series based around the premise (spoiler alert) that two US marines taken captive in northern Iraq have turned on their country, become Muslim and are now sleeper assassins ready to bring down the mighty USA. And finally the third TV show is another US based series called Shameless which is about a dysfunctional family and their various problems. But why am I talking about western television shows you might be wondering? Well I'll tell you why. They've got something very wrong. And that something is the image of Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad.

Now we as citizens of Pakistan know how cool and exciting Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad are. Unfortunately these westerners have absolutely no iota of an idea about their awesomeness and they have depicted them as terror havens with burqa clad women, turbaned mullahs, and terrorists roaming around as if they are on vacation. In Sherlock for example, Sherlock Holmes actually saves someone from getting beheaded in Karachi. In Homeland, Lahore is depicted as being a breeding ground for terrorists, and Islamabad is depicted as having safe houses of terrorists. And in Shameless, well they pretty much bulldoze the entire country in to the ground.

The problem is because the majority of the western population has no idea about Pakistan and its cities, they will more likely than not form negative, unjust and cruel opinions about these Pakistanis cities. They will never get to know about the calmness, serendipity and relaxing charm of Islamabad. They will never get to know about the unique Lahori hospitality, the colorful life, the amazing food (some say its the best food in the world and I agree wholeheartedly) that Lahore offers. And these same people will never get to know that Karachi never sleeps, has malls, parks and recreational places that rival Madrid's, has a diversified and multi ethnic community that happens to be the most educated amongst all of Pakistan's cities.

Homeland is instrumental in depicting Muslims in
bad light

And this is what alarms me most. An average Westerner who watches TV, goes to work, comes back, goes to his regular hang out place with his regular friends will grow old thinking Pakistan is the country where terrorists are born and bred. The whole image of Pakistan stands broken and shattered. It doesn't help our cause that the law and order situation in our cities isn't top notch, but Pakistan simply isn't the country that its made out to be. For example Karachi's problems are no different than Mumbai's so to speak, but while the Indians show the world how fun and classy Mumbai is, we are left with defending Karachi as not being the place where terrorists go to shop.

And this leads me on to my second point. It's all about the image perception. Even though India has some dramatic domestic problems, the world does not get to hear about them. What they do get to see and hear instead are the "Incredible India" ads that show what a classy, true to its roots eastern, modern, vibrant, happy and colorful country it is. Which makes me want to ask this question: Why can't we do the same? Where are our image managers? Oh that's right, we don't have any because nobody cares. What we do have however is a President who is tainted with corruption charges and who refuses to acknowledge those blemishes, we have a Prime Minister who goes to the Supreme Court for disobeying its orders, we have an army that is constantly berated for harboring ties with the militants, we have an administration that is repeatedly told to do more because inadvertently the majority of terrorists are found to have visited Pakistan and most importantly we are the country where Osama bin Laden was found.

We really need to pull our act together and fix our faults. Because even though all of the aforementioned things are true, we know what a great culture and a beautiful country we have. We can't let the world's idea of us ruin our heritage and our pride like this. This propaganda needs to be countered because these festering notions about Pakistan will lead to a greater scrutinization of Pakistan which considering how many problems we already have with the world, will hurt us even more. It's time to show the world what Pakistan really is. It's time to take this cause into our own hands because our elected leaders are incapable of projecting our image the right way.

Stay in your limits, general

Can't say anything to the military, that's treason; can't say anything to the judiciary, that's contempt of court; can't say anything to the Mullahs, that's blasphemy; but the Prime Minister, President and Parliament, let's lynch them because it is our democratic right.

Or so read the Facebook statuses of thousands of Pakistanis. And apparently also on Twitter. So why is everybody being so queasy about treason and contempt of court and blasphemy? Well that's because the lot of Pakistanis with some common sense and rationality are increasingly being cornered with no way.

PM Gilani in an interview to a Chinese daily hinted that the replies filed by the Chief of Army Staff General Kayani and the Director General ISI General Pasha were unconstitutional and held no legal merit. He of course forgot that they were both respondents who were served notices by the court directly and then had to reply to the court with or without Gilani's approval.

Now we know that Gilani is not a very clever man and doesn't think things through properly. But we have been led to believe like the little black sheep who only bleat and follow whatever comes in their way, that Kayani is super perfect and that he has Kim Jong Il type powers of awesomeness. In addition we have also been told rather repeatedly that because Kayani is so perfect, he can never do any wrong. Oh how sorry were we.

You see in response to Gilani's rather stupid hinting capabilities, Kayani hit back at the "civilian democracy" in the place where it hurts the most. Kayani via an army statement said that Gilani's statement could have "serious ramifications" for Pakistan. But hold your horses! He further goes onto threaten the civilian baddies with "potential grievous consequences for the country."

As a citizen of this poor, shunned, brow beaten shell of a country that this once was, I stand hurt and well mighty damn angry. How dare Kayani who is nothing more than a grade 22 officer threaten the democratic institutions of Pakistan? Who does he think he is? Does he think he is God (naaoozubillah)? Does he have a magic wand that he will wave and make the problems of Pakistan go away? Oh wait. That can't be it because he was asleep in his king size bed at home when Pakistan's sovereignty was raped for 2 whole goddamn hours on May the 2nd!

It pains me, disgusts me and shames me that even now there are people in this country who support a martial law imposition; who think Kayani coming to the helm of affairs will fix everything. Well let me just bust your bubble: It will not. The favourite argument of these self professed cleansers of Pakistan is that because Zardari is corrupt, he has done corruption. Because he has done corruption, his whole party has done corruption. Because PPP has done corruption, the army needs to come to fix everything. Wrong!

So Zardari is corrupt and Gilani is stupid and Firdaus Ashiq Awan is an affront to the intelligence of women, the fact of the matter is they are only criticised because there are no "ramifications". Because criticizing them will not land you in jail, or your deathbed. Let's talk about another type of corruption today shall we?

Rs 800 billion was allotted to the army last year. Rs 800 billion. Now let's recount what took place last year. First there were the drone attacks. But it turns out Kayani was hand in glove with the Americans on that one. Let's all laugh about how stupid we all were for thinking the army was defending the frontier while in fact they were the ones providing spot locations for drone attacks. And lest you forget I'm all for drone strikes to wipe out militants. I'm just amazed at the sheer hypocrisy of those (read: army) who proclaim that the Americans will not be allowed to toy with our sovereignty. What sovereignty do they talk about? But I digress. Then came May the 2nd. A day that will forever go down in history as being the day when Pakistan lost all morality in the comity of nations. Why didn't our army defend us? Why didn't our Air force defend us? Why didn't the army shoot down the raiding American helicopters while they fluttered about in Pakistani airspace for two hours? Why didn't the army take action when all the action could in fact have been live from the Pakistan Military Academy? Why? And when the civilian baddies tried to fix that (via the Memogate, wrong method but correct intentions) the army just got pissed. What about the navy base attack? When 4 "Star Trek" characters set a whole base on fire and laid siege to it for 16 hours. How incompetent is our army? Even with Rs 800 billion a year in its pockets. And they talk about defeating India in war when can't even defend their own shoddy selves. Why does no one talk about this corruption?

And lest we forget, yes Kayani is the rat bastard who is responsible for putting this country under the water and making it sink. Now he trespasses the halls of morality but let me jog your memory. In 2007 Musharraf wanted an NRO with Benazir Bhutto. He sent his DG ISI to draft an agreement and get it signed. That agreement was called NRO. And who was that DG ISI, the architect of that agreement? Why yes it was Kayani. Who rules this country behind the facade of Gilani and Zardari? Why it's Kayani. And who has burnt this country down and sold it to the dogs? Why yes, it is indeed Kayani.

I don't have a problem with the army, or the soldiers who stand day and night watching these insolent generals who have nothing better to do than to fart all over the destiny of Pakistan. I have a problem with the generals. Making Kayani the chief executive will be the final nail in the Pakistan's coffin. Let's make that clear.

So how do we go about sorting through this mess? By letting the PPP complete its 5 years in power. You see we have now seen how inept the PPP has been in power. In the next elections people like me who have never voted before, are going to vote it out of power and vote somebody better in its place and so on and so forth. But instead if Kayani comes to the helm, well then bye bye Pakistan. You were truly loved and you will sorely be missed.

By linking the performance of the governments to the voting process and by empowering the common people, in only 20 years' time this country will be a much, much better place than it is today. People themselves will see how democracy is a million times better than the army mounting coups. Kayani should not sully the good name of all those nameless soldiers who have died, who stand upright during the night to protect his highness, and who when the time comes become brothers to those Pakistanis who need them. Kayani would be well advised to keep his fantasies to his self. Kayani should stay within his limits.

Trying desperately to save face

Last night all the top politicians of Pakistan got together to chalk out a united strategy in the face of extreme pressure from the United States. Much as I would like to tell these same politicians what's really on my mind, I do believe they deserve tremendous applause for being man enough to tell the world that there is still some semblance of sanity that exists within Pakistan and its political ranks.

The joint resolution that was presented at the end of the 9 hour meeting says what we've always been hearing: that Pakistan is a peace loving country and that it will always keep its interests supreme. We already know from the last 60 odd years that that's not true. We also know that we're absolutely unsure about what Pakistan's interests are and who decides them. Supposedly, supporting the Haqqani network of the Taliban in Afghanistan is one of the interests of Pakistan. Like I questioned in my blog yesterday, to what end?

The resolution also failed to distance Pakistan from its image of always helping the wrong side and of double dealing. You see while the Pakistani government may feed us all lies about how our establishment is so sweet and nobody loves it, the world has become quite sick of our shenanigans. The Pakistani nation is identified in vile terms and its image is scorned upon. Did the resolution address any of these critical exclamation marks? Afraid not.

So what did the joint resolution of the APC achieve then? Well the answer to that will be nothing really. General Pasha and General Kayani simply denied all allegations of wrong doing. Even with Nawaz Sharif's rather testy remark that wherever there is smoke there is fire, the military men refused to concede that they are responsible for maintaining links with the Haqqani network. Ironically the resolution fails to say that Pakistan does not, will not and has not maintained any links with the Haqqani network. Does that amount to admission of guilt? You're free to draw your own conclusions.

While the world continues to move on berating Pakistan for its duplicity we vehemently and strictly refuse to acknowledge our shortcomings. We refuse to accept our mistakes and we refuse to correct them. We live in denial. We like it. Unfortunately the world doesn't like it and hence it has run out of patience with Pakistan. Mike Mullen was just one man who made one allegation. Very soon (if we keep our charades) a whole corps will be out there doing the same.

10 questions that need to be answered at the All Parties Conference

As you all might know an All Parties Conference (APC) is currently under way in Islamabad to chalk out a united response from the country's political leadership to the threats and accusations made by Admiral Mike Mullen in which he accused the Taliban's Haqqani network as being a veritable arm of the ISI. Almost 58 politicians belonging to all the major political parties are attending this conference including Nawaz Sharif, Imran Khan and Chaudry Shujaat Ali. The important question is whether this conference will actually achieve anything substantial?

We of course need a united stance on the American accusations and allegations which are by their nature very extreme. To help the politicians achieve that, General Ashfaq Kayani (COAS) and General Ahmed Shuja Pasha (DG ISI) will be presenting themselves before the politicians and answering the various questions that they might have.

Some of the questions that I have and which I would really like to be answered are as follows:

1. Does Pakistan actually have any "veritable" links to the Haqqani network?
2. Does the Pakistani military support a "strategic depth" doctrine in Afghanistan?
3. If yes, then what exactly does the Pakistani military intend to achieve with that strategic depth in Afghanistan?
4. Does the ISI share strategic intel with the US intel agencies?
5. Does the Pakistani military have compulsive, incriminating evidence against CIA/US double dealing in Afghanistan and Pakistan?
6. Does the Pakistani intelligence apparatus have compulsive, incriminating evidence against Indian involvement in Pakistan's tribal areas and Balochistan?
7. Does the Pakistani military believe that it can defend the country in the event of a ground invasion by the US forces?
8. Why did the Pakistani military allow a known CIA operative who is also a murderer (Raymond Davis) go scot free?
9. Has the Pakistani military officially sanctioned the lease of Shamsi airbase to the UAE and further on to the USA?
10. How can General Kayani and General Pasha convince the Pakistani nation that after the OBL fiasco (being discovered in the heart of the Pakistani military) a repeat of that episode will not take place?

These are just some of the many questions that I would like to be answered. Because they form the bedrock of the many confusions plaguing our nation regarding the intentions of our armed forces.

The confusion within

I have been reading up on a lot of polarized material of late. Polarized meaning those who call themselves liberals (who believe the US and the West is everything, and everything it eschews is absolutely correct) and those who call themselves the saviors of the Muslims (who believe killing the US will solve all our problems). In both instances I have found glaring deficits and discrepancies. Neither side has the capability or the willingness to offer solutions. Both sides are so distrustful of each other and so confused in their own right that they find it impossible to find a middle ground. Hence, there are no grey areas. There is only black and white depending on what you believe in.

I know what I am saying has been said many times before. So let me just cut through the crap and talk about myself. I was a firm believer in the theory that nation states do not have friends or foes. They only have strategic interests. I still believe in that theory to be honest. Based on this theory then I concluded and I pleaded with people to understand that the US is only acting on its interests when it goes to war, or attacks innocents, or maims millions of people. After all, it is the world's largest economy. An economy that boasts of individualism and a narcissistic affinity to money. Any kind of money.

However, I always wondered what the US would gain by destabilizing Pakistan, if for instance I were to agree with this notion. You see I believe very strongly in the idea that to understand and win an argument, you must think and act like the devil as well as the angel. In this case, I know why the US would want to go to wars, carry on the wars it is fighting, would want to get out of Afghanistan etc. But I wondered and wondered as to what possible motive the US could have in destabilizing Pakistan.

On the face of it it would seem like that encouraging the destabilization of Pakistan is akin to the US throwing down the axe on its own foot. But that just sounds contrary to what common sense suggests. But I don't have any answers. I don't know why the US is so intent on doing what it is to ensure that Pakistan keeps going on the back foot until it is finally cornered and pushed up against a wall.

Now since no one seems to know the answer to that (no, the US does not want our weapons; it has a much bigger stockpile of immensely advanced nuclear weapons than we can ever produce) I can only go with what is left. Like Sherlock Holmes said: Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

By that logic the US is genuinely concerned that the Pakistan government would collapse leading to a free for all frenzy which would be hard to contain. And herein lies the US' folly. Like I mentioned before in one of my earlier posts, the US has refused to engage the biggest shareholder in Pakistan: Its people. When and if it realizes this, it will also realize how easy it actually is to win in Pakistan. We're a very loving, loyal and hospitable people. And we are suckers for kindness. When someone is kind to us, we become their loyal pups forever. Case in point, China and Saudi Arabia. Even though we know how both these countries have used us to no end.

So that's how the confusion within rolls around. Would love to hear your views about this. Feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.

$800 million less aid? Good riddance!

Athar Abbas says the army doesn't care if the US doesn't 

give it more aid.

Now I have been reading up quite a lot on the purported US cut in military aid to Pakistan which totals $800 million. Apparently this is big news and it somehow masquerades that the US government is oh so angry at the Pakistani military. Obviously the Pakistani military deserves to reap what it has sowed, but somehow the effect of the aid cut has materialized in the public sector instead of from the military establishment. Which I presume is good for the military establishment since it shows that the population of Pakistan is slowly forgetting the horrors and nightmares that army generals have wreaked across and upon this country, once more.

But before I get down to the nitty gritty of what the US aid cut means, if anything at all, I would just like to let everyone know that the very first thought that came to my mind after hearing about this news was: I don’t give a damn.

You see a lot of people, bloggers, like me have stopped writing. They’ve vanished, disappeared. Why? Well because there’s nothing much left to say or tell the world. We’ve constantly been saying the same things over and over again, and now there just doesn’t seem to be any point in conveying our words and thoughts to the population at large. Maybe it’s because we’ve become accustomed to the intuition that we are the world’s new favourite punching bag. Maybe it’s because we realize that we are partly responsible for the senseless monstrosities occurring with impunity in our homeland. But it’s mostly because we’ve become immune to the senselessness, and in this dark, depressed, depraved, deprived way of life, we’ve still managed to find something to cling on. Even though we’ve forgotten how to articulate our thoughts any more.

We need someone to blame. Every day when you see nothing good of your country being shown on international television and when people talk about your country as if it is hanging by a thread, you need to find someone or something to vent your anger out on. For us that someone/something is the US. Yes it is truly an evil that has grasped the world and poisoned the very roots of the concept of equanimity, brotherhood and peace. Maybe it isn’t the US; maybe it is the system it represents: A capitalistic overture that spouts for individualistic control over everything, at the cost of well everything. Human life is not sacred to the policy makers of the US. Countries’ sovereignties do not matter in their grand design. So what if they raped Pakistan (raid to capture OBL) and stabbed in the back (publicly stating they will not share any proof of OBL’s presence in Pakistan, but will go back and attack it again if they have ‘actionable intelligence’), and then left it to die (publicly telling the world the focus has shifted from Afghanistan onto Pakistan) before finally calling 911 (telling Pakistan there will be no suspension of aid at all), and then dashing back to put it on life support before it dies out completely (promising that the P3-C Orions and F – 16s will be delivered as promised), and then teasing it some more by lessening the amount of oxygen it was getting (reducing the total aid by $800 million)?

Here’s some food for thought. People in Pakistan don’t care how the US deals with the military of Pakistan. And that is the saddest bit. The US’ bigoted and selfish policies have only meant that the US only talks to the military and not the biggest stakeholder in Pakistan: The people of Pakistan. So the government decides to cancel aid from the USG as a form of rebellion, if I may be so brash to use that word. But the toothless rulers only cancel humanitarian aid. So here we are, a confused people, cursing the US for not giving us any aid, then rejoicing that we grew the balls to tell them to shove their aid where they may, and then cursing them some more for not providing aid for the hapless citizens of this country.

The military will find a way to get the $800 million that the USG has bitten back. But what will the people of this country get? More terrorism, more death and destruction, more sadness, more depravity, more misery.

Where the US could have made a mark, like educating children, or building basic infrastructure, or instead of training the military they could’ve offered to train the police so that we could’ve had real law enforcers instead of diseased pigs, or maybe started community projects to provide clean drinking water to the nation at large, the US did not bother. Because why should it? It’s already got the real players in the game by their balls.

So today, I don’t have any logic or reason left. Today I stand by the dozens and dozens of people in Pakistan who say that the pittance the US was paying us that they’ve now decided not to pay us is good riddance. Maybe like their money, they would also like to leave us alone. We will survive. We will win our battles. We have done that for 64 years. We will do it again.

O Pakistan... You have been screwed.

Literally. And repeatedly.

This is going to be a short post. Here's the thing. I get frustrated with people when they refuse to understand the obvious. It isn't their fault. Everyone's different, everyone has different views, opinions and ideas. But it just sort of annoys the creeping hell out of me.

Anyway, the title of the post has a literal meaning. Let me just say that the enemy (whoever that maybe) has partially succeeded. Internal strife has now become a regular affair. Other than that, raging division lines have appeared all across the country segregating people by thought with different thought holders looking at each other with the lust of blood in their eyes.

And finally, Pakistan has now become Hypocrisy Central. Hypocrites are as rampant here as the craters and potholes on Barki road.

I do have one final question though. If I were to agree with the opinion that the CIA, Mossad and RAW are following an objective to break up Pakistan, then what is there for them to gain out of our break up?

Anyone?

Is criticizing the army anti state?

I simply cannot hold back my views on this topic any longer. The reason I blog about this matter in English and not in Urdu is simple: There are a number of people out there to whom I direct this blog and they find it easier to read, write and understand English rather than Urdu. For the wider Pakistani population, I will blog about the same in Urdu later.

So is disagreeing with the army anti state? Am I an anti state person committing treason when I say that the army needs to put its house in order? Do I deserve to be burned at the stake when I question where the Rs 620 billion went that were allocated to the defence last year when events like May the 2nd and PNS Mehran take place? These are pertinent questions regardless of what anyone believes.

The fine line is that while most of us agree that the Pakistan army failed somewhere along the way in letting Raymond Davis off the hook, the continuous drone attacks take place, the rape of sovereignty by the Americans on May 2nd, the heinous incident of PNS Mehran in which we lost 10 commandos, there are people amongst us who classify even talking about these issues as being traitorous to the nation. I'm sorry, but how do they expect us to become better at our game when we simply refuse to acknowledge our problems?

Yeah I know there's always that "India's doing this, India's doing that" debate that's thrown at you in return every time you try talking about the atrocities being committed in the name of Pakistan's defence but it simply won't cut it any more. You see while there are people who will tell us that simply talking about the acts of dumbassery being committed in Pakistan is tantamount to blackening the name of Pakistan and sullying our reputation. But these hard questions need to be asked and answered in order to ensure that all the stakeholders (Pakistan nation, government and the military) are on the same page.

While there is no doubt in my mind that Pakistan needs to start standing on its feet; while I agree that the current government and the opposition is nothing other than shameless two faced bastards; while I agree that the US hasn't always been our friend, and well it doesn't appear to be one right now, I do agree that the US is absolutely within its right to want the best for itself. Might is right in the international arena and there's nothing we can do about it.

What we can do is to channel our energies into correcting our mistakes which will only be possible after the acknowledgement of our failures, our wrong policies and our wrong strategies. Once we clear that, then we will have no reason to not correct ourselves.

O hypocrisy, thou art a heartless bitch

Now if you are a regular reader or follower of this blog, you would know how much I abhor hypocrisy and hate hypocrites. I do not claim that I am not one myself (and I loathe myself for being hypocritical at times) but I do claim and know that I at least try not be a hypocrite or follow the hypocritical line.

As it so happens, not many in this country are capable of making amends. They preach one thing, do and follow quite another. So for instance, a debate with two fellow Facebookers really got my blood roiling. Firstly because what they were saying without substantiating their claims was absurd (at least that's the way it sounded to me); secondly they claimed to know much more about Islam than me (but that would've been OK because I'm not a theologist or an Islamic scholar, had they been one which they were not) and thirdly because they were sullying the name of my religion by attaching atrocious stuff to its commands.

To start of they claimed that the Taliban are the real Muslims and I quote, "Mullah Omar is the Ameer-ul-Momineen of all Muslims". You would imagine that would be it but then they claimed the killing of innocents is quite acceptable in Islam because there is always collateral damage in war. They also claimed that mere mortals like myself are the "dogs of the US" and we only know what the Jewish media feeds us; apparently to them it is quite OK to use Jewish media (Facebook et al.) to spread their own message.

I tried reasoning with them, repeatedly asking them questions that stated that is it OK for Muslims to kill innocent Muslims? They did not answer at first but rather rambled on and on about the US and how it has killed millions of Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan. But that's not what I asked I pointed out, and finally they said the Taliban don't blow up barber shops, girl schools, behead people, shoot people, or kill civilians. They only kill military personnel who are the "dogs of the US".

After debating with them for almost an hour one of them finally conceded that he was a hypocrite. How did he concede that? Well I told him since he believes in the cause of the Taliban (blowing people up), why doesn't he go to the army house and blow himself up in the face of the army chief. Obviously it emerged that it far easier to preach what you do behind a screen and keyboard in the safe confines of your home. Hypocrisy then was the winner in this case.

I do not care that some people are crazy enough to say we must fight the Americans. As it turns out there are far crazier stuff people come out with. People have twisted Islam so much that they find it next to impossible to see that what they say and preach is extremely illogical and Islam is anything but illogical. To give you an example from this very debate, I stated that I cannot believe that a religion who's name's literal meaning is submission to peace can preach violence. Ironically, the counter argument I got was that the meaning of Islam is the submission to Allah, not to peace. To clarify this folks, the word Islam comes from two root words: Istalama and Salam. Istalama means submission while Salam means peace, hence the literal meaning of Islam is submission to peace. Not submission to Allah which as you will find out is the ideology of Islam.

The irony is that these people have hijacked Islam and claim to know everything about it. They quote out of context Quranic verses and proclaim that Islam ordains violence against the infidels. Maybe so but Islam only ordains that in defensive terms; like when you are attacked by a foreign force; like when you are repeatedly provoked through aggressive means such as the Israeli indiscriminate killing of Palestinians. The only trouble is, I'm not a Palestinian and I can't help them because I have to put my own house (country) in order first!

The other problem with people like these is that they think all those who do not preach violence against the "dogs of the US" aka all the military personnel, political leaders and the civilians of Pakistan are the lovers of the US. They conveniently forget to mention that their siblings reside in the infidel countries, study their education and live a luxurious life in the infidel lands. They also forget that disagreement does not mean that one has taken a stance that supports the other side.

To make this point clear I would give my point of view vis-a-vis the USA: The USA is no angel, saint or pope. It has committed atrocities. It has committed unspeakable and unpardonable sins. I cannot and will not deny that. 9/11 was a US intelligence failure was it not? The Americans knew terrorists wanted to attack their homeland and still let it happen. In 2003 George Bush authorised and launched a genocide in Iraq and yet he walks scot free. But the only reason the US can do whatever it wants is because it is the world's most powerful country. It will serve its own interests. That is common sense. That is only logical. We also need to keep our interests supreme and intact. And one of the ways we can do that is by not launching a war against the US. Lets be honest. This country is full of hypocrites. Not the Muslims about whom we read in our history books and Allah does not love or help hypocrites. Hence if we fight the US, we will lose. Our country will be torn apart. But I suppose that's OK because these extremists believe that nationalism is a sin anyway. The only way to fight the influence of the US is to stand on your own two feet. When the Muslims were powerful in the pre-1000s, they were expanding. Now the US is powerful, hence it is expanding. Common sense, common logic.

We rely on the West's education, the West's language (English), the West's mode of communication (Facebook, Skype, Twitter, internet) and we pretend like we are the masters of all eternity. Actually I don't pretend that. They also quote newspapers and magazines to support their points but when people having a debate with them quote from the same literature they are termed "fasiqeen" because we have "unreliable and unverifiable" literature.

How does one argue with such people? How? Please feel free to enlighten me using the comments section below.

Osama bin Laden: Who to believe and what to believe?

I have taken my time in writing this second blog post vis-a-vis the whole OBL saga for two main reasons; 1) because the details emanating immediately after the American operation on Pakistani soil were sketchy at best, and 2) I was waiting for the Pakistani government’s official reaction to the whole drama that was conducted in Abbotabad a couple of days ago.

Barack Hussein Obama

President Obama

While it has been made abundantly clear to the world at large by President Obama and his team repeatedly by saying OBL is dead, questions, and pertinent ones I must add, have found their way into all the rhetoric that has been flying around. President Obama’s decision to not release OBL’s dead body’s photos is stupid, even though Nick Kristof thinks it’s a “wise” decision; but more importantly, Obama’s reasons for not releasing the dead man’s photos are even more stupid.

He says that the photos will act as “trophies” and pose a security threat to the US and its military personnel around the globe. Have we forgotten Saddam Hussein and the way he was presented and shown to the world when he was captured from an underground location? Also, Obama says that imagine how we would feel if al-Qaeda starts putting photos of dead American soldiers out for the world to see. Mr President, they already do that. The reason they don’t attract that much attention is because they are “soldiers” not officers. Trust me, if al-Qaeda got hold of Admiral Mike Mullen, for instance, not only will they put him on a camera for the world to see, but they won’t ever let the world forget it by repeatedly showing the video. Similarly, it is foolish, alarming and extremely suspicious to not quash the rumours that are circulating around the world. In Pakistan, the effect has already materialized as the question of OBL’s death has been replaced by the failure of the security establishment to shoot down the helicopters. People (the media particularly) is continually stoking the people’s imaginations by repeatedly questioning the discrepancies in the American version of events (which by the way changes every 24 hours. What’s the catch?)

The Pakistani government

The Pakistani government has once again proved that it is full of the worst kind of nincompoops ever in the history of the world. While a foreign state blatantly raped Pakistan’s sovereignty, our President and Prime Minister were more interested in securing their asses for the foreseeable future. Then our dear PM went abroad for a tour de France which if international news reports are to be believed, should make any sane Pakistani’s head bow down with shame. The French foreign minister demanded that PM Gilani explain to France how come the world’s most wanted terrorist was found hiding in Pakistan. Mr Foreign Minister, know thy limits. The idiot from whom you ask these questions is akin to banging your head against the wall. Friendly advice.

The Pakistani military

They have finally acknowledged that there was incompetence in the intelligence collection. Well they had no other choice now, did they? They could hardly have said “yes, we were harbouring the world’s most wanted man. Suck it.”  But the incompetence is not restricted to data and intelligence collection alone. We had an American death squad roaming around in Pakistan for over an hour and a half and yet the best Salman Bashir (Pakistani foreign secretary) could come up with was how fighter jets had been scrambled but then they were called back because the Americans had landed.

Perhaps the only sane explanation (one that makes sense anyway) has come from a BBC report which cites unnamed intelligence officials as saying that the jets were scrambled but then were called back because the Americans contacted the Pakistani military high command. Also the report goes onto mention – well, it mentions the intelligence official’s bragging actually – that if OBL was indeed hiding in Pakistan with the ISI’s help, the ISI would have done a much better job of securing him, and if this was indeed an ISI op (which he said it wasn’t) then the officer in charge of picking out such a location for OBL should be court martialled.

The question now is who to believe, and what to believe? There are extreme discrepancies in the stories of both the Americans and the Pakistanis. The one conclusion that I’ve drawn watching all this drama unfold is this: The Pakistani military is hiding something from the population. Why they’re doing that is anybody’s guess – maybe the US said they’ll give us more money to buy fancy boy toys? – but if their official statement is to be taken at face value, that there was an incompetency problem, then all our military generals ought to go jump off a bridge. Because this, this is simply unacceptable and nonsensical.

When politicians show their true colours on national TV

Warning: Explicitly vulgar language used in the video. Viewer discretion is advised.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder that the blogs I post online are only reaching a minute number of the many millions of Pakistanis out there, primarily because I mostly blog in English and that just isn't good enough. But then, at least I have the common courtesy of not trash talking or bad-mouthing my opponents. The same however, cannot be said of the Urdu speaking politicians who frequent the various high profile talk shows that have become a routine on the electronic media.

The following is a clip from the show 11th Hour which is hosted by Wasim Badami on which he had invited Hasan Nisar, the fiery columnist who basically trashes the government and its lackeys everyday (couldn't agree more; but after watching this clip I'm re-thinking my support for this guy); Imtiaz Safdar Warraich, who is the President of the PPP Punjab wing; and PML-N's senator Mushahidullah.

The show was attempting to ask an "innocent" question (if I may use the words of Wasim Badami) about what good news if any, could the government give to the Pakistani population at the moment. The irony of the matter however is that the innocent question spurned some extremely pathetic, vile and vulgar responses. Hasan Nisar (who talks sense most of the time, or so I thought) completely lost it and stated that even if the rulers and their ilk were to hang themselves, even then they wouldn't be able to give the nation any good news. He went on further to state that it is the Pakistani nation which is the real villain for electing these morons to the assemblies and voting the "murderers" and "looters" into power. I mean, really Hasan Nisar?

When Wasim Badami redirected the question to Imtiaz Safdar Warraich, he very tactfully dodged the question and stated that such vile comments did not merit a response from any "sane" person, and since he was one of the sane people in Pakistan (I do believe we have quite a dearth of them) he wasn't going to respond to Hasan Nisar's allegations.

But Senator Mushahidullah just couldn't resist telling the people what was wrong with people like Hasan Nisar, and well people like Hasan Nisar don't take their shortcomings being pointed out too well. Hence, this is what ensued:

If you want to watch the context of this seriously horrendous exchange, please click here. This will show you what Hasan Nisar said much to the astonishment of all concerned. Now I have been a fan of Hasan Nisar for his bold and upright stances and his publications in Jang which are quite refreshing and different from the usual crap that we get thanks to the Talat Hussains and Ansar Abbasis of Pakistan's electronic media. But there is no doubt at all in my mind that Hasan Nisar was absolutely wrong in saying what he said; and losing his cool, and that too in such a derogatory manner on live television. Not only was his conduct unbecoming, but it was also totally irrational and not different from the autocratic and "pseudo-democratic" mindset which incidentally, he is so against. By saying that the Pakistani nation are villains for voting the Zardaris and Sharifs into power, he has fallen prey to the same fallacy that forces rational people to become irrational and proclaim that only they themselves are the repositories of all wisdom. Hasan Nisar should issue an apology to all and sundry for uttering the words that he did.

Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi: Propaganda at its best

Zaid Hamid. 

The problem with Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi is simple. They’re stupid. They talk and advocate nonsense. They fabricate lies and pass them off as facts. The really sad bit to their hypocritical performance is this though: They use Islam as a tool for their propaganda.

For those of you who don’t know who Zaid Hamid or Ahmad Quraishi is, please Google the gents. And then laugh your heads off. Yes Zaid Hamid is the man who claims everything in Pakistan is India’s fault, while Ahmad Quraishi claims America has formed an unholy alliance with Israel and India to torment Pakistan. These two men also pretend that Pakistan is the centre of the universe and that the world instead of revolving around the sun revolves around Pakistan.

But the problem with Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi is not limited to their stupidity. You see they make us look bad. How? Well they claim to be Pakistani and therefore (since the majority of us are not as notoriously famous as them) the world assumes all of Pakistan’s population is as mad and lost in the head as these two. They also make the Pakistan army look bad because they claim to safeguard the army’s interests and everybody points at the army and laughs at it about how it has these two stalwarts of complete idiocy trying to defend its honour. They also make Pakistan look bad because a) Pakistan is not the centre of the universe and b) they have “fans” who believe the bullshit these two minions of hypocrisy, lies and fake stories come up with.

Now I know I’m wasting my time talking about these two self declared gods of Pakistan’s destiny but bear with me. You see I came across something very astonishing today, something that has the potential of ruining Ahmad Quraishi’s very existence. Click here to see screen shots of Ahmad Quraishi’s official Facebook page where during a discussion with his “fans” he blurted out the truth about David Ben Gurion; something that I’ve been saying forever but of course vindication coming from the source itself is something else. Ahmad Quraishi claims that spreading lies and propagating falsehood to promote one’s ideology is correct because the other side (India, USA, Israel etc) also does it. And then as an example he says how the lie about David Ben Gurion’s speech that was fabricated to unite the Pakistani nation against the Jews worked so flawlessly.

Now what does one say to this sheer blatant exploitation of the masses? Of course the “righteous” Mr Ahmad Quraishi has no shame and therefore he did not go jump of a bridge into the Nullah Leh but oh well. How do Ahmad Quraishi and Zaid Hamid expect the people to believe them when they’re propagating, promoting and preaching lies and falsehood? I wonder if Ahmad Quraishi knows that there are many people like me who only visit his website when they’re bored and they feel like laughing.

Only recently two articles appeared in the Express Tribune by George Fulton, a naturalized Pakistani who has left Pakistan to seek greener (read safer) pastures for his family. The articles focus on the inherent hypocrisy of the Pakistani state, of the dishonest people and the corrupt infrastructure. Of course that is all true and no one can deny that. But what Ahmad Quraishi and his ilk had to say was that George Fulton was a racist who called Pakistanis degenerates. If Mr Ahmad Quraishi would have used his pea sized brain, he would’ve realized that Geroge Fulton was one of us; he was a Pakistani. He had every right to criticize this system of which he was a part, and this country which was his home. Sadly, it is people like Mr Quraishi who are racists and who could not accept a “Gora” becoming a Pakistani; they also could not accept a Pakistani who pointed out his own country’s shortcomings instead of India’s or Israel’s or the USA’s.

Since Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi are so fascinated by India, let me bust another of their bubbles. Zaid Hamid keeps threatening India with war and how we will destroy it till the “paleed” Hindus rot in hell. Well let me put this question to him and his ilk: Have you ever wondered why the Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah spent all of his entire adult life fighting for an independent state for the Muslims of the subcontinent? Yes, that is right. So that we could be free and safe. He did not spend his years vying for the leadership of the Indian subcontinent where the Hindus are a distinct majority and who would then paralyse the system till the Muslim rulers abdicated, or were burnt to the ground.

And what do these messiahs of Pakistan’s destiny want us to do? Conquer India? And then what? What are we going to do with a billion plus “paleed” Hindus? Slaughter them? The logic is simple. Even if we conquer India (dream on Zaid Hamid and Ahmad Quraishi), the majority of the Hindus is so overwhelming, the whole system will be paralysed. The Muslim “rulers” of the Indian subcontinent will not be able to do jack if that happens. That is why we have a separate country. So that we can do what we want in a place where we ARE the majority.

To cut to the chase, Khalifa King Zaid Hamid and Khalifa Prince Ahmad Quraishi can go on living in a Utopia. The writing on the wall is this: You couldn’t fix your own country, and you talk about fixing a country that is 7 times our size. Yeah right. 

Musharraf minces no words

After a long time, Pervez Musharraf has had a flash. A brilliant flash. He literally - literally - hammered this Indian journalist dude right on the head. Maybe he could do the same to Kamran Khan and Hamid Mir probably? Please?

Seeing Musharraf take on the media in such a strong fashion makes me wonder what in God's name was the PPP thinking of letting him leave Pakistan? They should've made him their foreign minister. He would've been so much better than that self declared 'Pir' Shah Mehmood Qureshi.

But even now, why isn't the PPP backing off? If it had any bit of patriotism (notice patriotism here means hatred for India), it should let Pervez Musharraf come back and lambast the Indians into smithereens with his awesome, macho talks. In fact, he should be hired as a motivational speaker for the Pakistan cricket team. That way, Pakistan will win the match without even having to play against their counterparts from across the border! And to be honest, watching Umar Gul and Sreesanth yell it out in the middle of the pitch is going to be much more entertaining than watching Sachin Tendulkar bat like the greatest batsman ever.

But Musharraf is more than mere words. You see anything, ANYTHING at all, even a donkey dry humping a buffalo for that matter, is going to be better than Rehman Malik, Babar Awan, Firdaus Ashiq Awan, Latif Khosa, Yusuf Raza Gilani etc. But Musharraf is a human. Now I know he did very terrible things in the land of the pure but he is - and the conviction in my heart cannot be stronger - better than the PPP. Of course choosing him is like choosing bad over the worse but that is indeed quite relevant and true.

Savour the old general's spicy remarks putting the Indian anchor in place. After all, that is the Pakistani nation's favourite time pass isn't it? Watching the Indians being bashed.

NOTE: This piece in no way means I hate India. It is sarcastic. So peace. And if you don't want peace, then go to your mom's house. I'm sure she'll give you cereal and that'll put a smile on your face. Bye bye now.

Forgetting the murdered, are we?

Murdered once. And then forgotten forever.

6 months ago (time flies doesn't it?), two brothers were brutally murdered. They were beaten and thrashed, and they were not given any breathing space for more than 4 hours. Then, the little one died. The older brother kept fending off the clubs and the kicks and the bricks. But for how long could he have continued to sustain the onslaught? For how long could he have borne what possibly cannot be borne? And so finally, the inevitable happened. The older brother also departed this world for a place that I hope with all my heart is better than this one.

If you don't know who I am talking about then you're not alone. 6 months have passed and in Pakistan, 6 months can mean 6 different governments. But it does get across the point that I have made previously: We will forget who the boys were and why they were murdered.

The two boys in question are Mughees and Muneeb Butt, residents of Sialkot and God-willing, residents of heaven now. They left this world staring hate, bigotry and vigilantism in the face. They cringed and they cried, but nobody listened. As if to show just how brutal and vicious we as a society are, their dead bodies were hung upside down in the city square, and afterwards they were paraded around in the back of a tractor trolley with a police escort.

Yes all that happened. This gory and truly tragic incident took place in Ramadan, when they say that Satan is locked away by the angels. Apparently, Satan has found many accomplices to take his place when he is locked away. At that time the media went into overdrive, the blogosphere meant mad; everybody cribbed and cringed, everybody made sure that their views were heard. Condemnations came pouring in but as always happens in Pakistan, we forgot all about it.

The police DPO (District Police Officer) in who's presence the boys were murdered and who allegedly told the raging crowd to murder the boys was suspended. His accomplices were also barred from duty pending an inquiry. The inquiry found out that the police were party to murder; accessory to murder in official jargon. But what happened then? The prime accused was never arrested and to date he has not attended a single court hearing. Some "independent judiciary" we've got.

The parents of the murdered boys did all what was possible. And what is indeed possible when your sons have been brutally murdered in Pakistan? They wrote to the Chief Minister, that third class piece of sh** Shahbaz Sharif who summoned them to meet him. He promised them justice. Well, there has been no justice even after 6 months with all the accused having been identified.

Why are we so afraid to prosecute the murderers and killers? As if obvious, Waqar Chauhan the DPO at the time of the incident still remains at large. I wonder how he sleeps at night knowing what he has done and what he let happen. I wonder if he wonders about what God will do to him? Then there was Mumtaz Qadri. Another murderer who instead of being prosecuted was garlanded and labelled a hero. And finally there is Raymond Davis, another killer. But in the case of Davis, the whole of Pakistan is ready to play the role of the judge, jury and the prosecutor. Because he is an American? Why aren't we proud of him for murdering petty thieves and making this country a better place for us to live in?

But let's not get into that. What about justice for Mughees and Muneeb Butt? What about the justice that their mother and father await? What about the pain and sorrow that they must feel knowing that they lost two sons in one go, but more importantly, HOW they lost them? Where are all the right-wing Mullahs with their Fatwas? Why don't they declare Waqar Chauhan an apostate who should be killed for bringing disrepute to Islam and that too in the holy month of Ramadan? Where is the state which goes into overdrive every time the word Swiss is mentioned? Why this hypocrisy?

We're back from where we started. And that is nowhere. And this is precisely one of those countless many reasons that has led many of us to abandon ourselves. May Allah have some mercy on us. Amen.

Who is responsible?

Much has been made of the killings in Lahore by Raymond Davis. People protested, others cringed, some didn’t care, and yet others did not even know an American had murdered two Pakistanis. Sounds strange doesn’t it? An American killed two Pakistanis in Pakistan. Usually, we’re more inclined towards hearing the reverse of this like a Pakistani tries to blow himself up in New York, or a Pakistani runs over an Irish dog in Little Minnesota. You get the idea. The tragic irony of this whole affair is that even though Raymond Davis shot and killed two Pakistanis, two lives which were not shot at have also been claimed by this incident. The first life of course was the man who was on a bike and happened to come in front of the Land Cruiser which was being driven by members of the American Consulate in Lahore, and which the Americans insist does not exist. The other life is the wife of Faheem (one of the murdered boys), who committed suicide after declaring she does not believe in this justice system, nor this government to get her justice.

But you know what’s more shocking? The total aloofness that the Punjab government has shown towards this incident. Kudos to them for at least showing to the world that they know Faheem’s wife has committed suicide. The federal government in its infinite wisdom has decided to keep its twat shut. Probably because it fears reprisals of some sort? No one knows for sure. But getting back to the Punjab government. Rana Sanaullah stated that if Faheem’s wife had such an issue with the justice system, she should’ve come to the Punjab government for help. Well excuse me, but why should SHE have come to YOU, when it is YOUR goddamn RESPONSIBILITY to ensure justice is provided to her in the first place? That all her concerns are addressed by you? What sort of a barbarian are you Rana Sanaullah that you absolve yourself of blame?

People often talk about how this death could spark a revolution in Pakistan, much like the self immolation of the fruit vendor in Tunisia. But it won’t. You see the Tunisians were genuinely concerned about their plight. We on the other hand have accepted ours. We aren’t ready to change the status quo because that would mean moving our lazy butts and that’s just too tiring and too difficult.

We demand justice, but we aren’t willing to fight for it. Tomorrow if Raymond Davis is handed back to the United States, none of us will really give a damn. Sure there will be a couple of protests, a lot of tweets, and lots of blogs over the injustice but at the end of the day when the dust will settle, we will be back at where we started. Truth be told, we wouldn’t even have moved from our place. The only solace is knowing the fact that Pakistan seems to be united in wanting justice this time around. What the Vienna Convention demands might be immunity, but the US has social and moral responsibility to see that justice is provided to the victims. And if it doesn’t do that, then the Government of Pakistan ought to realize that it has 180 million people on its back. The US might have cut of bilateral relations, but it does realize it will never be able to survive without Pakistan’s support in FATA and that has to be bargaining chip in this whole mess.

Justice needs to be served. Raymond Davis killed two Pakistanis who have thus far been proven innocent. Raymond Davis also indirectly murdered two other totally innocent lives. He needs to pay for his crimes and his sins. He needs to be told that Pakistan is an independent country with independent people and people like him are not welcome in the Motherland. He needs to be told that he will spend a very long time in the Pakistani prison system or alternatively, will be hung to death. If however he is proven innocent by the courts, then he is free to go wherever he wants. But if the government tries to extradite him “under diplomatic immunity” (read American pressure), it would be nothing more than a sack full of garbage heap. Which it already is.

The American fundos who like to play guns and bullets

In the land of the pure, many strange and eventful happenings transpire. One such tragic and truly heart rending tale occurred yesterday when an American diplomat called Raymond Davis shot at and killed two young men – Faizan and Faheem at a traffic signal on Qartaba Chowk in Lahore. While the killer tried to flee from the shooting scene, his companions following him in a Land Cruiser entered the wrong side of the road and hit a motorcyclist killing him on the spot and injured another pedestrian seriously.

By a miracle the American killer was apprehended by the police and just as I was about to revel in the fact that justice might indeed be served, out came the news that he had been shifted to an undisclosed location. That undisclosed location is most probably his home in the United States and consequently once again the abhorred level of police professionalism came to the fore.

The police confirmed that none of the three murdered people had any criminal records. So maybe Mr Davis was playing Medal of Honour 2010 at his office and decided to recreate some scene from the game in the physical reality then? I don’t know. What I do know is that three Pakistanis were murdered at the hands of some bloody diplomats who’re no better than stinking sewer rats. But that would be an insult to the stinking sewer rats because they at least have the courtesy to not murder the other clans’ rats for no apparent reason.

I don’t know why Mr Davis murdered the two people that he did. He says they tried to rob him at gunpoint. But how does he explain the fact that all the bullets pierced through the murdered gents’ backsides? And what of that innocent motorcyclist who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Will the US government announce compensation for the victims’ families? Will they say sorry? Will they feel some shame? I doubt it. After all, when do masters despair at the loss or ill treatment of their servants?

I don’t know much official jargon but the little titbits that I do know tell me that diplomats are immune from any kind of prosecution unless it is revoked by the foreign country. But as this is America we’re talking about, I doubt they would be willing to waive diplomatic immunity for ‘one of their own in the land of chaos’.

Some people (the confused modern rightist elements) have declared Raymond Davis as a spy. I don’t know what their sources are but they hardly ever have any sources to back up their claims with. No doubt they would now tell us that the murdered people were going to change the destiny of the Ummah. I disagree with them. One, an American murdered two Pakistanis for no apparent reason. He should be hanged twice for each of the murders by the Pakistani government although I have no real hopes for that because let's face it, this government is a toe sucking, gut lacking, whiskey swivelling lackey of the its imperialistic masters who sit behind mahogany desks in the city called Washington DC. The government of Pakistan should grow some balls and should ask for an official apology and regret statement, and must also ask the American administration to announce compensation for the victims. The innocent motorcyclist who was killed by the raving lunatic driving the Land Cruiser should be willingly handed over to the Pakistani authorities and the diplomatic immunity of both Raymond Davis and his accomplice should be revoked immediately. And then I would like to see them incarcerated in prison to either serve life sentences, or be hung to death. Either way, both of those American madmen need to be given a taste of the Pakistani prison systems.

And two, only the collective Muslim Ummah can change its destiny. Not some peer, fakir or murshid. Until the Americans are blamed for every ill plaguing this nation, we will continue to stumble around in the dark. We all have the right to vote. Let’s go out and make that count. And if you can’t do that, then you might as well shut up and mourn the loss of three Pakistani lives in silence.

Hypocrisy much?

I just had a great idea. I should rename my blog as The True Hypocrites. Hypocrisy as has been the case since forever now is the national trait of Pakistanis. In fact, the hypocritical conundrum that we find ourselves is so complex, it has become a part of the Pakistani culture. Disagree with me, anyone?

This time it is Veena Malik. Last time it was Meera. Before we get to Veena Malik, let’s refresh our memories as to why Meera so suddenly shot to fame in 2005.

Meera went to India, and did a B grade movie called something or other (I don’t know, don’t remember, and don’t care to Google it) in which she kissed a Hindu man. Open gaping mouth? Eyebrows arched as if you’re trying to send them to the sky? Heart thumping so fast as if you’ve just run a marathon? Anger and rage bubbling in the pit of your stomach? How dare a Muslim woman kiss a Hindu man you ask? How dare she kiss him on TV? Well to that I say, with her ugly freaking mouth. But that’s not the part I’m interested in. Meera’s case study presents us with certain parameters which will come in handy when we dissect Veena Malik’s case. So let’s look at some of these fascinating points then?

Meera was disloyal to Islam. Obviously she disagrees but we don’t really care, and it doesn’t really matter because no one has ever taken her seriously. She broke all bounds and norms of decency, particularly those which have been set for Muslim women. So yes, she pissed off all Muslims including yours truly. She did what she did. She was abused, fun was poked at her, and well the world moved on. No one questioned her Pakistaniyat; well I don’t remember anyone doing that anyway.

Which brings us to Veena Malik. She too went to India and flirted and did other dirty, skanky stuff with an Indian Hindu man. Very bad you say. She brought dishonour and disrespect to herself, her parents and generally all those women who claim to have a bit of self respect (views from an op-ed on Tribune.com written by some girl). She brought a bad name to Islam. She wore slutty clothes and then came on national TV and cried whilst proclaiming she offered her prayers. No Muslim can deny that. And none have so far. The way she handled the Mufti sahib on TV was a treat to watch none the less. Veena Malik really knows how to hold her own. But getting back to the topic, she wasn’t ashamed of her antics as a Muslim, she wasn’t sorry and for all intents and purposes she will do the same thing again.

As a Muslim I disagree with her. What she did was wrong. And that’s the simple truth about it. But here’s the part where the hypocrites of Pakistan lost me. How did she bring dishonour to Pakistan? Does the declaration that she brought shame on Pakistan define how Pakistanis are supposed to behave? Who anointed these self eulogising dimwits the caretakers of morality in Pakistan? And who decides what a Pakistani is or isn’t? For all intents and purposes, Veena Malik did a great service to her country. She showed the world exactly what it wanted to see: That Pakistani women are more than just burqas and shawls and captivity.

Those people who have gotten on Veena Malik’s case because she shamed Pakistan and Pakistanis are the biggest hypocrites of this country. They all watch Indian soap operas, and Indian movies. They all go dreamy eyed when they see Katrina Kaif shaking to the tune of ‘Sheila ki Jawani’. These are the same people who watch porn day in and day out. These shameless hypocrites who act as if they are the upholders of morality are the same people who rape women for pleasure and fun. Where does their morality go then? For a walk amongst the trees of Changa Manga? Or are they after Veena Malik because they couldn’t digest the fact that a Pakistani woman could do what the Pakistani men are notoriously famous for and that too on Indian television?

I disagree with Veena Malik because my religion does not allow the behaviour exhibited by Veena Malik. But as a Pakistani, I have nothing to say to Veena Malik. She did what she thought was right. That does not mean she ruined Pakistan’s image. She would’ve ruined the image if she had murdered someone in front of a camera, or blown herself, or threatened to kill someone because the other person disagreed with her. No one can tell what being a Pakistani is. This is the same country that mourns the loss of Black Label Whiskey when it goes short, and this is the same country where men and women get together and do stuff that you only see in R rated movies. So really, the hypocrites need to put their own houses in order before you know, calling Veena Malik ‘beghairat’.

Where do we go from here?

Pakistan as we all know has in recent days seen a wave of intolerance engulf it. This wave which some say culminated in the death of Salman Taseer started when the late Governor stated that he believed that Aasia Bibi, the Christian woman condemned to death, was innocent and not guilty, and that the case presented against her had been fabricated on flimsy grounds. Whether it was or wasn’t, is another story altogether, but for the purpose of this post it was necessary to mention Aasia Bibi’s sordid story.

Aasia Bibi is a Christian. The Pakistani population comprises overwhelmingly of Muslims. These Muslims comprise almost 95 – 98% of the population. Figures vary but almost everyone agrees that the number lies somewhere in the middle. So we’ve established thus far that Pakistan is a country of the Muslims, by the Muslims and for the Muslims. How then is it possible that the Muslims of this country feel threatened by a minority? How is it possible that their “Emaan” is threatened by a mother of five kids? I know people will say the honour of the Holy Prophet (SAW) reigns supreme over all other matters. Well no one is denying that. But consider the following: Every sane man, woman and even child in this country knows that saying anything blasphemous could result in immediate death. How then is it possible that people (barring insane people) would utter anything blasphemous?

And once again, why was Salman Taseer gunned down? I do not believe he had said anything blasphemous. Or is everyone celebrating because he was a corrupt man who deserved to die? I still haven’t forgotten the Christian family which was murdered under the charge of blasphemy because its 11 year old son went to buy groceries from a “Muslim’s” shop; and neither have I forgotten the desecration meted out to Prem Chand’s coffin. The only trouble I have is I refuse to believe the hardliners when they suggest that Islam condones murder and wilful decimation and desecration of human life.

The harsh reality that we’ve come to see is that Pakistan does not have a silent majority of peace loving citizens. Apparently the silent majority is quite content at the murder of the Governor of Punjab. So what’s left then? A silent minority which will continue to suffer in silence because it does not have the resources, the will power, or the lack of morals which will allow it to meet fire with fire. More importantly though, the question that needs to be answered is where do we go from here?

As crazy as this may sound, I believe sticking to the current democratic government is our best bet. Hoping that this government can stick out its mandated 5 years in the Parliament will give this country a shot in the arm. You see despite its utter competence and shortcomings, we at least have a political government. One which feels the heat when pressure is applied, and cowers at the thought that it might be left alone in the centre, and therefore out of power. The recent drama by MQM is a case in point. The reality is that even though Salman Taseer’s death symbolises the death of many things, including freedom of speech, freedom of expression, the safeguards assured to the minorities, the incumbent government’s tenure’s completion will ensure that in 2013 the people of Pakistan are better informed and better decided to make the decision that will alter the course of their destinies. Mid way Parliamentary change will only help in reinforcing the view that only the army and its lackeys can run this government.

Democracy is indeed our best bet. The Facebook status of a friend is an apt description of our dilemma today: 

“Sometimes you’re not at a crossroad. Instead, you’re standing on top of a cliff right at the edge overlooking a never ending abyss of darkness.”