The curse of the Qadri

Tahir Ul Qadri

It was around a year and a half ago that Tahir Ul Qadri was sitting in a heated bullet proof container in front of the Parliament building of Pakistan while thousands upon thousands of people froze in the cold Islamabad night outside. Back then Qadri had arrived on a similar mission to the one he’s about to embark on today - rid the country of its current rulers. He failed miserably. Not only did he let thousands suffer on his behalf, but he also did not achieve anything and left with his tail between his legs. I said at the time that Tahir Ul Qadri is not Pakistan’s promised messiah. I say it again today.

And now tomorrow he arrives with similar ambitions. Thousands of men, women and children will join him in the sweltering heat of Pakistan’s hot summer and all of them will boil under the sun while the self-promised messiah sits inside an air conditioned bullet proof container. After all, who has the time to give a rat’s ass about normal, regular people, right?

The unmistakeable irony of Tahir Ul Qadri’s mission is that he has no stake in the entire process anyway. He’s a Canadian citizen, where he resides most days of the year, and only ever comes to Pakistan on these blitzkrieg missions where he disrupts the lives of thousands of people and then leaves without achieving anything. The man is amoral; he uses religion to propagate his own nefarious designs and agendas and has no qualms about how many precious lives are lost in the process. His claims are as hollow as his gratuitous lies and his claim to fame is based on an absurd tale of deceit, corruption and dishonesty.

But I digress. As a citizen of Pakistan he has a right to protest whatever demonic cause he so chooses. On the other end of the spectrum we have the Sharif brothers who have been trying to run this country like their own private enterprise. Just one problem with that whole plan: Countries don’t work that way. On the day the Punjab police conducted a mini genocide in Model Town Lahore, the Khadim-e-Ala Shahbaz Sharif appeared on TV and said if it is proven that he had anything to do with this massacre he would resign. Of course no one took him seriously because a) he has promised to resign for things so many times it’s like a running joke now and b) as the chief minister of Pakistan’s most prosperous province there was no way in hell that this man did not know what was going on. Was he at a hair salon getting new hair plugs? I hardly think so. So by common logic, go stand in front of metro bus and let it crush you Shahbaz Sharif, you shameless lying twerp.

Saroop Ijaz in an op-ed for the Express Tribune said it brilliantly “…Mian Sahib, we stand with you for the sake of democracy, however for your own sake stand by yourself.” There is heavy truth in those words. Yes, the process of democracy is slow, painful and fragile. It takes time to yield results. But the truth is for the first time in Pakistan’s history it is at a point where we can be hopeful about its outcome. While I am no supporter of Nawaz Sharif or his ilk, I do maintain strongly that the democractic process, one that Tahir ul Qadri is trying to upend, needs to be defended at all costs. This however does not mean that the government needs to go batshit crazy because it is so scared of a pseudo preacher from Canada and his followers. If Qadri wants to protest, then let him protest. If he wants to cry out loud, then let him do that. Democracy is not a one way street. While I disagree with Qadri, I also disagree with the government’s reaction to the arrival of Qadri. The only losers of this confrontation will be us, the normal, regular people of Pakistan.

I thought things in Pakistan couldn’t get worse than the lynching of the two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb Butt, in Sialkot. However since that fateful event I have been proven wrong so many times, I have literally lost count. Selfish men who are out of touch with reality and who have larger than life egos have never been able to make wise decisions. We’re witnessing a prime example of that today.

Pakistan election 2013 result

The Pakistan general elections 2013 were held on May 11, 2013. The voter turnout was 60%,  - an unprecedented number that had never been seen before for any elections that had been held previously. This huge turnout can largely be attributed to the massive passion that was found in the youth who voted for the very first time. It is no coincidence that the Imran Khan phenomenon played a huge role in  getting the youth excited enough to go out and engage in this political process.

Despite a high party following in the educated, urbanized middle class, Imran Khan's Pakistan Tehreek e Insaf was not able to perform as well as people had hoped. It was able to take 34 seats in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa where it emerged as the single largest party. In the federal showing however it was only able to take 28 seats, which are less even than PPP. The PML - N however was the overall winner with an overwhelming majority at 126 national assembly seats.

There has been documented poll rigging in 49 polling stations across the country. The biggest poll rigging took place in Karachi (for national assembly seat 250) where MQM supporters tore up opposing parties ballots and held the polling station staff hostage while they stamped and filled up ballot boxes. The Election Commission of Pakistan recognizing gross misconduct has announced that reelection for Karachi will be held within 10 days. Below is a summary chart showing the positions of all national parties in the National Assembly so far.

Musharraf's wealth explained

Pervez Musharraf

65 crores. That's the value of assets declared by Pervez Musharraf in his nomination papers submitted to the election commission of Pakistan. He also has not paid any tax in the last 3 years to the government of Pakistan. Several questions have been raised about the source of Musharraf's funds (which he did not mention) and why he did not pay any taxes.

Let's discuss those questions.

How did Musharraf end up making so much money when he was in fact a government subordinate and retired with not much (relatively) money? The answer to that would be that since his self imposed exile, Musharraf has gone on various international lecture series and tours. The average compensation for one lecture is $100,000 (that's almost 1 crore rupees, give or take). Now in the past 4 years if Musharraf has even done 25 lectures, that means he's earned 25 crores. Assuming he is an educated man and is not overly stupid, he must have (and he did indeed) made a lot of investments which have returned handsome profits to him. So where he got his money should be clear for all to see.

Now the second question, why didn't he pay any taxes? Well according to the Pakistan tax rules, residents of Pakistan earning income abroad are not liable to pay taxes on that income within Pakistan. The Pakistani tax rules assume that because Pakistanis send valuable foreign exchange to Pakistan, it is more than enough to not double charge them (unlike the United States of America, where foreign income is tax deductible). Hence, Musharraf did not pay any income taxes for the last three years he was not in Pakistan. The pension he gets already is tax deducted (income tax is deducted at source) and while we do not know why he did not pay any property taxes (maybe the properties are not in his name? Maybe he did pay the taxes through a proxy that don't appear in his name? Maybe he is indeed, a tax defaulter?) we can be reasonably sure that the money he did make is indeed legitimate.

And finally there's the biggest question of them all, one that doesn't even concern Musharraf. What about the other so called "sadiq" and "ameen" (pious and pure) politicians of Pakistan? The one's who are known to be inherently corrupt? For example Nawaz Sharif says he owns only 1.5 crore rupees in assets (maybe he forgot the 600 crore Raiwind estate he lives in is not his own?) while Zardari says he only owns 1.8 crore rupees (of course he also forgot he owns palaces in France, Dubai and God knows where else). And then there's the cherry on top of the cake, Hamza Shahbaz Sharif who says that he doesn't even own a Suzuki Mehran.

Let's take a moment to reflect on this. These gentlemen who claim that they have next to nothing travel in cars that cost around 6 - 7 crore each. They live in palaces that cost hundreds of crores. And they live a lifestyle that is simply not possible on the meager "incomes" that they declare. So my question is this, do you finger pointers not think before you open your mouths to make allegations?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I've just finished reading Irfan Hussain's article in today's Dawn. Normally I hold great respect for the man, but on certain fundamental points (like Pakistan's sovereignty for instance) I disagree with him to the extent of no reconciliation. His musings in today's newspaper fall in the latter category for me.

Irfan Hussain has benignly accused the government of being incapable of growing a pair when its required. Instead he accuses the government of hiding behind a facade, a mummer's farce if you will, so that it doesn't have to deal with the ugly realities of life. But on what points one may ask? Well on the point of the USA and its demonic stance of droning over Pakistan. Now I am all for these drone attacks because as we've seen they were an excellent way of killing Behtullah Mehsud and several others of his ilk. Unfortunately after this point is where I begin to differ significantly with Irfan Hussain. While he believes the government shouldn't have put the matter of the NATO supply routes before the parliament, I believe that's one of the democratic things this government has done.

Let me explain. Irfan Hussain says that because the government has decided to take this matter to the Parliament, it will be unable to maneuver around and show flexibility when the need arises to take some drastic measures as the people, and everybody in the Parliament will cause an uproar about how the will of the people wasn't taken into account. Essentially, Irfan Hussain is advocating that the government behave in a totally autocratic manner and take unilateral decisions which in essence amounts to licking the US of A's ass. Now I don't know from where he's getting these notions because if I remember correctly, he used to take very strong objection when this government or the previous government used to by pass Parliament in taking foreign policy level decision. Isn't this why he was always on Musharraf's case all the time? Well to really hit the nail on the head, isn't this extremely hypocritical?

While the thought of Pakistan licking USA's ass might get Irfan Hussain off, other self respecting Pakistani citizens such as myself realize that while it may be next to impossible to break the shackles of slavery vis-a-vis the USA, there needs to be a starting point.  The government's decision to involve the Parliament in the decision making process is 100% correct. The Parliament symbolizes the will of the people. Unfortunately for Irfan Hussain that will currently states that the USA can go to hell (but he needn't worry; our government isn't yet strong enough to say that to the USA, and probably never will be). In addition, by involving the Parliament the government is doing the legitimate and right thing. It is standing by its institutions. This also sets a precedent where all future significant foreign policy designs and ventures will be executed by the majority of the elected representatives leading up to across the board accountability.

Now Irfan Hussain can shimmy up to the USA all that he wants but let's get one thing clear. In a democracy, the majority needs to agree and be on board so that if God forbid things start to unravel, they can be patched up quickly. If the government does take a unilateral action, it will simply lose all credibility with the masses and then we would be forced to ask the question, why did we ever kick Musharraf out of the picture anyway because as I recall, he was really good at this doing-things-my-own-damn-way thing?

10 questions that need to be answered at the All Parties Conference

As you all might know an All Parties Conference (APC) is currently under way in Islamabad to chalk out a united response from the country's political leadership to the threats and accusations made by Admiral Mike Mullen in which he accused the Taliban's Haqqani network as being a veritable arm of the ISI. Almost 58 politicians belonging to all the major political parties are attending this conference including Nawaz Sharif, Imran Khan and Chaudry Shujaat Ali. The important question is whether this conference will actually achieve anything substantial?

We of course need a united stance on the American accusations and allegations which are by their nature very extreme. To help the politicians achieve that, General Ashfaq Kayani (COAS) and General Ahmed Shuja Pasha (DG ISI) will be presenting themselves before the politicians and answering the various questions that they might have.

Some of the questions that I have and which I would really like to be answered are as follows:

1. Does Pakistan actually have any "veritable" links to the Haqqani network?
2. Does the Pakistani military support a "strategic depth" doctrine in Afghanistan?
3. If yes, then what exactly does the Pakistani military intend to achieve with that strategic depth in Afghanistan?
4. Does the ISI share strategic intel with the US intel agencies?
5. Does the Pakistani military have compulsive, incriminating evidence against CIA/US double dealing in Afghanistan and Pakistan?
6. Does the Pakistani intelligence apparatus have compulsive, incriminating evidence against Indian involvement in Pakistan's tribal areas and Balochistan?
7. Does the Pakistani military believe that it can defend the country in the event of a ground invasion by the US forces?
8. Why did the Pakistani military allow a known CIA operative who is also a murderer (Raymond Davis) go scot free?
9. Has the Pakistani military officially sanctioned the lease of Shamsi airbase to the UAE and further on to the USA?
10. How can General Kayani and General Pasha convince the Pakistani nation that after the OBL fiasco (being discovered in the heart of the Pakistani military) a repeat of that episode will not take place?

These are just some of the many questions that I would like to be answered. Because they form the bedrock of the many confusions plaguing our nation regarding the intentions of our armed forces.

Cracking the code to Karachi's misery

Ladies and gentlemen, I have returned from my hiatus. If you missed me, then please be assured I missed you too. If on the other hand you did not miss me, well then you know what you can do.

I have been away from my blog for so long for two primary reasons.

1. Because I was far far away in Karachi and did not have quite the access to internet that I would've liked and,
2. Because even after having watched Zulfiqar Mirza blow up like a helium filled balloon set on fire, I really didn't feel like I had anything to say.

That all changes now because as it turns out I do have something to say about the whole affair.

To start of there are rumours that Altaf Hussain has been arrested by the British police in connection with the murder of Imran Farooq. Self professed analysts on the media also proclaim that since Altaf "bhai" has been arrested, hence he has not really communicated to his party (MQM) about what to do with Zulfiqar Mirza and his amazing diatribe against them.

In humdrum, no one really cares where Altaf Hussain goes. Just like no one cares where Zulfiqar Mirza goes. The MQM and Zulfiqar Mirza depict deeply embedded ethnic taboos that have come blasting to the fore. Zulfiqar Mirza's deliberate attempt to string up discord between the Urdu speaking and the Pashtuns in Karachi was visible for all to see. But he went a tad bit further and proclaimed that he will only work for Sindhis now. I wonder, what became of the Pakistan that stood for equanimity and equality without ethnicity and religious affiliations affecting one's relationship with others?

While I was in Karachi I had a realization. All my life I had seen Karachi on TV as being the most horrid place in Pakistan. The people, the location, the smell, the size of the metropolis, the pollution. But that's not true. What Karachi really is, is the most amazing city I have ever visited. There is a diversity in Karachi. The people are friendly. And there's so many food places, you have to wonder why they don't just call it food city. And it has the sea. Nobody ogles at you for dressing weirdly. Nobody hoots at you for wearing jeans (yes girls, I did not see anyone hoot at any girl the entire time I was there). And best of all, the people have a  lot patience and respect for each other.

Which made me wonder, why is there such a big mess broiling in Karachi then?

The answer is simple. The message of Pakistaniat has disappeared from the hearts of Pakistanis. Karachi is no longer a city that belongs to Pakistanis or even Karachiites. It is being fought over by idiots who think that they own Karachi. But the truth is they don't and that's why the city doesn't yield.

Who cares if you're Urdu speaking? Who cares if you're a Sindhi, Balochi, Pashtun or Punjabi? The fact of the matter is that we're all Pakistanis. We all own Pakistan and all the cities in Pakistan. I'm as much an owner of Karachi as the little boy who sells pakoras on the streets of Mardan. Just like the people of Karachi are as much owners of Islamabad like the Baloch elder who sits outside his sajji shop in Quetta.

I love Pakistan. And so should you. 

When politicians show their true colours on national TV

Warning: Explicitly vulgar language used in the video. Viewer discretion is advised.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder that the blogs I post online are only reaching a minute number of the many millions of Pakistanis out there, primarily because I mostly blog in English and that just isn't good enough. But then, at least I have the common courtesy of not trash talking or bad-mouthing my opponents. The same however, cannot be said of the Urdu speaking politicians who frequent the various high profile talk shows that have become a routine on the electronic media.

The following is a clip from the show 11th Hour which is hosted by Wasim Badami on which he had invited Hasan Nisar, the fiery columnist who basically trashes the government and its lackeys everyday (couldn't agree more; but after watching this clip I'm re-thinking my support for this guy); Imtiaz Safdar Warraich, who is the President of the PPP Punjab wing; and PML-N's senator Mushahidullah.

The show was attempting to ask an "innocent" question (if I may use the words of Wasim Badami) about what good news if any, could the government give to the Pakistani population at the moment. The irony of the matter however is that the innocent question spurned some extremely pathetic, vile and vulgar responses. Hasan Nisar (who talks sense most of the time, or so I thought) completely lost it and stated that even if the rulers and their ilk were to hang themselves, even then they wouldn't be able to give the nation any good news. He went on further to state that it is the Pakistani nation which is the real villain for electing these morons to the assemblies and voting the "murderers" and "looters" into power. I mean, really Hasan Nisar?

When Wasim Badami redirected the question to Imtiaz Safdar Warraich, he very tactfully dodged the question and stated that such vile comments did not merit a response from any "sane" person, and since he was one of the sane people in Pakistan (I do believe we have quite a dearth of them) he wasn't going to respond to Hasan Nisar's allegations.

But Senator Mushahidullah just couldn't resist telling the people what was wrong with people like Hasan Nisar, and well people like Hasan Nisar don't take their shortcomings being pointed out too well. Hence, this is what ensued:

If you want to watch the context of this seriously horrendous exchange, please click here. This will show you what Hasan Nisar said much to the astonishment of all concerned. Now I have been a fan of Hasan Nisar for his bold and upright stances and his publications in Jang which are quite refreshing and different from the usual crap that we get thanks to the Talat Hussains and Ansar Abbasis of Pakistan's electronic media. But there is no doubt at all in my mind that Hasan Nisar was absolutely wrong in saying what he said; and losing his cool, and that too in such a derogatory manner on live television. Not only was his conduct unbecoming, but it was also totally irrational and not different from the autocratic and "pseudo-democratic" mindset which incidentally, he is so against. By saying that the Pakistani nation are villains for voting the Zardaris and Sharifs into power, he has fallen prey to the same fallacy that forces rational people to become irrational and proclaim that only they themselves are the repositories of all wisdom. Hasan Nisar should issue an apology to all and sundry for uttering the words that he did.

Imran Khan you sneaky man

Every time I've said Imran Khan's not really what a politician should be, his supporters have bashed me quite hard. The last time I wrote about Imran Khan some of his stooges went so far as to degrade me and tell me I didn't know the first thing about him. They criticised me for failing to appreciate his magnanimity, awesomeness and brilliance. They told me he built Namal Model College. They also said that Khan was a fortuitous and upright man who valued his principles more than he valued power, fame and money. But they were all wrong. So very wrong.

Imran Khan: The man who changes colour like a chameleon

You see I had been advocating that Khan put his emotions aside when he's politicking. His followers told me he would never do that because that is what real politics is all about. Well if that indeed is the case, isn't Imran Khan the world's biggest hypocrite then? Well not the biggest because we have the likes of Rehman Malik, Asif Zardari, Nawaz Sharif, Yusuf Gilani who take the cake from Khan but you get the point. What in God's name was Imran Khan thinking when he decided to shun his perpetual hate of Altaf Hussain and called him and decided to let the world know that he appreciated Altaf "Bhai's" stand against the government and America?

If memory serves me correctly, and it does on this occasion, Imran Khan filed a case against Altaf Hussain in Pakistan. The court rejected the petition because Altaf Hussain is a British citizen. Imran Khan then wanted to go to Karachi to hold a rally against Altaf "Bhai" in Altaf Hussain's own home town. Some said it was a dangerous move. Others said it was stupid. But whatever it was, we never really found out because as it so happened the MQM banned Khan from entering the city.

Khan also went onto Geo TV's show Capital Talk hosted by another hypocrite (Hamid Mir) and left seething with rage when Babar Ghauri taunted him repeatedly for allegedly fathering an illegitimate child. That's when Imran Khan decided enough is enough: He would go to the UK and file a murder case against Altaf Hussain and file an extradition request with the British authorities. We never got to hear what became of that case.

Khan repeatedly claimed Altaf Hussain was responsible for the murders of more than 235 people and yet, he had no qualms about rubbing shoulders with him and shaking hands (figuratively for those of you who will point out and complain Khan and Hussain never met!) when it came to serve his agenda. Khan hates the Americans. And apparently, now so does Altaf Hussain. What better opportunity could there be than ride on the back of the urban party from Karachi which somehow always manages to gets its way? The lives of 235 people did not become a hurdle, nor did they prick Khan's conscience.

His fan followers also claim torrents about his honesty. Apparently he hasn't been honest with them either. But I suppose a person who claims that he will make sure Altaf Hussain ends up in jail and then clamours to support his agenda when it suits his own isn't what one would call honest in the first place.

The irony of this whole affair is that Imran Khan has finally managed to use his brain. Siding up with Altaf Hussain is nothing short of genius. But his supporters, well that's a different story altogether now. If they claim that what Khan did by siding with Altaf Hussain is correct and right, then they'll be the biggest two-timers on the face of the planet earth.

It is sad that Imran Khan had to ditch his honesty drama and principles façade; but maybe this is the only way he will be able to make an impact on the destiny of this sad nation. My only hope is that Imran Khan's wavering ways don't become a permanent feature of his politics.

President Zardari, please shut up

Asif Ali Zardari the self imposed ruler (read President) of Pakistan gave a joint address to both houses of the National Assembly today. With no one being tired of the political drama that continues to play havoc with millions of lives in Pakistan, it was no surprise then that the opposition parties decided to boycott the session. But I'll get to the lowlifes who constitute our opposition later. First, let me state my views on Mr Zardari's speech.

The shameless Zardari lying and telling half truths in
front of his wife's portrait.

Zardari claimed that when he and his stooges inherited the country, it was almost dead economically. I'm sorry, but wasn't bread selling for Rs 2 back then and what is it now? Oh yeah, Rs 6. He also claims record investment was made in the country (Mr President, your Swiss accounts and Pakistan are separate entities so please try to remember that when you're talking about money, money, money?). If "record investment" was indeed made in the country, then pray tell where is the result of all that? Exactly. He also claimed that education sector was given more funds. Now he has to be literally stupid in the brain to claim that. Why else would he say that? Pakistan is in an education emergency. The sooner these two timing scumbags realize that the better it will be for everyone. But of course some institutions and their masters are more important than others in this country.

He also portrayed the fact that thousands of contract employees were given permanent jobs. Now I know the only economics and finance his highness, the Black Lord of Gypsies, knows is restricted to the banking structures in Switzerland but even then, we assumed he had that bit of common sense left in him that ought to have told him that you don't legalize 20 people's jobs in a place where only 1 is needed. But like always, we were proved wrong. He also tried to get credit for the increase in daily wages of the common man. He sounds farcical does he not? But never mind. Let me put his out of context stated facts into some context. The minimum wage of Pakistan is Rs 7000. The inflation rate of Pakistan is somewhere around 20% realistically even though the government cooks up numbers and claims that is around 15.5%. It isn't. But even if this government claim was to be believed, imagine the devaluation and decrease in purchasing power that those people earning Rs 7000 a month are facing. In totality, their purchasing power is decreasing. The Rs 7000 of today are not even equal to Rs 4000 of 2008 when the incumbent came into power.

Zardari also paid tribute to Salman Taseer and Shahbaz Bhatti. He also claimed their deaths will not be in vain. Strange. Their deaths have already been in vain. The little ragtag group of utter imbeciles collectively known as the PPP made sure of that. They could not muster enough balls to prosecute the murderer of Salman Taseer. Rehman Malik, that bloody SoB claimed that Shahbaz Bhatti himself is responsible for his death. You see sane people like me can live with this jackassery; what we cannot live with is the fact that the the motives behind these murders weren't and will never be addressed. And let's face it. The PPP doesn't have the balls to confront the problems facing this country head on. Maybe they're scared they'll wet their diaper but either way, they're taking us down. They still haven't apprehended the killers of Benazir Bhutto and pragmatically speaking, they never will.

Which leads me on to the part of the speech by Asif Zardari where he stated that the killers of Benazir Bhutto will be brought to justice. My un-dear President, it is not the killers of Benazir Bhutto who deserve justice, it is your slain wife who's name you have exploited so dastardly who deserves justice. Zardari also claimed that:

Democracy is the best revenge…we condemn the murders of Salmaan Taseer and Shahbaz Bhatti. We will defeat the mindset that preaches violence and hatred. Being strong means denouncing what is wrong. 

No Mr Zardari. You are wrong. The definition of being strong changed the day you came into power; the day you ceded control to the generals; the day you effectively put the army in charge of this country. Being strong now means a) being a General in Pakistan or b) righting what is wrong at all costs.

I could go on but I've had enough of Zardari for a lifetime. He sucks. His lackeys and stooges suck. Bloody hypocritical animals. Donkeys have more sense than these senseless blood and money sucking leeches in charge of us. And as for the PML-N, PML-Q (Lota group), JUI and Jamaat-e-Islami, what can one say? They're as bad as Zardari. So all the words that I've said here against Zardari, they all apply equally (and in some cases, more) to the Nawabs of Punjab (Sharif brothers), the Lotas of the Punjab Assembly, Fazlur Rehman (who is a slur on the word Maulana) and the crazies of the Jamaat-e-Islami.

These are the people who are involved in point scoring at the cost of Pakistan. What purpose did their boycott serve except for boosting their own inflated giant ass egos? If they hate Zardari so much, why don't they bring a no-confidence motion against his hand picked Prime Minister and government? Why do these douchebags attend lavish dinners thrown at the Presidency? Why do they pretend to hate Zardari when he has in effect given them the rights to loot, plunder and engage in high corruption? They're all hypocrites. They don't love Pakistan. They love themselves and "our" money.

I've had enough. Later.

When the saviours become the nation's sellers

PM Gilani and his lackey Gen. Pasha. Or maybe it's the
other way round?

A few days ago I wrote a blog post about how the cost of two Pakistani lives was $2.3 million. I was wrong. That's the cost of the entire Pakistani nation.

Now you may begrudge for saying that but it is true. The back door deals that led to the release of Raymond Davis were managed by the ISI and the Pakistan army. Just one day after Davis' release, the Americans pound a local jirga and kill 41 people. That leads to the first public display of anger by the army chief over the whole sovereignty violations that occur with impunity from across the border. Maybe he wanted to give the impression he still cares about this country and its people after selling them off for $2.3 million?

But the really ironic part is this: The US government did not pay a dime for the release of Raymond Davis. Because we lesser mortals aren't privy to the internal workings of the government or the army, the most we can rely on is the news that is published in the Pakistani media. And according to that very media the Saudis paid off the families of the victims. Not Raymond Davis. And not the US government.

When Hillary Clinton was asked who paid the blood money for Davis' release, she had no idea. But apparently the Pakistani government is now supposed to pay the Saudis back for their "generosity". The Punjab government run by the Nawabs of Punjab (Sharif brothers) put up a hell of a show portraying themselves as anti Americans; they went so far as to claim that they would never let Raymond Davis go. But in the end it was Nawaz Sharif himself who did the Americans' bidding and got Raymond Davis off the hook. His prosecutor general failed to get Davis convicted; and we all know how the Sharifs love to rub their backs with the army generals.

Maybe that is the reason why General Pasha's extension notification wasn't issued immediately. He got chummy with the CIA, he solved his agency's problems with the Americans and voila, Saudis end up paying the blood money, the ISI rocks on, the CIA resumes droning over Pakistan and the Pakistani nation ends up being sold.

People often ask me why I'm so anti army. Fact of the matter is that I'm not anti army. I just have a lot issues with the scumbags who are in control of the army and consequently who are in effective control of the country. The politicians are just a front to legalize their notorious activities. For example, who does the army think it is when it declares it monitors other departments' budgets? They take a huge chunk out of the revenue that this country generates painstakingly. They don't have the guts to shoot down drones yet they clamour as if hell has frozen over when they kill people. They can't stop terrorists from striking every two days. I wonder where they spent the Rs 620 billion that they took last year?

We will never know why the heirs of the victims suddenly accepted the blood money. They just vanished. If news reports are to be believed they have been secretly flown to Dubai. And if they are to be believed further than the ISI and the Punjab government executed the deal. Where is the promised revolution people? Where have all those zealots disappeared who proclaimed they will take to the streets if justice is not done?

Like I said once before, there is nothing that can be done and no one who cares. We were sold but so what? After all, we are America's very own private whore, are we not?

Price of two Pakistani lives? $2.3 million

Raymond Davis: The killer who walked. 

So what was expected finally happened. Raymond Davis, the man who killed two Pakistanis, walked. Should I be surprised? Should I be angry? Should I sigh? Should I even care?

All along we knew in our hearts (even though we pretended otherwise) that the killer of two Pakistanis will walk because he was an American. Why did we pretend that the government won't let go? That they will care about what the Pakistani nation thinks? It was because there was a faint glimmer of hope in our hearts that made us think that maybe, just maybe, the rulers will finally listen to the ruled; that they will finally stand up to those who dictate our destiny.

But in the words of a friend "...servants have the right to react...paid whores don't." And he is right isn't he? The price of two pakistani lives came down to a mere $2.3 million. Apparently those people who claim money can't buy everything live under a rock. As it so happens everything in the world has a price. Everything and everyone can be bought.

There is such a massive disconnect between our rulers and the masses. Just listen to what Angelina Jolie had to say when she visited Pakistan in the aftermath of the floods; that there are people and children who don't have a pair of shoes to wear in the heat while the government throws around lavish feasts and showers her with gifts.

The foreign policy, the interior policy, the fiscal policy is all mismanaged. But not only that, the managers in charge of the running of this country aren't qualified or capable enough to do so. The Rs 2 billion that this government prints everyday is only because it doesn't want to cut down on its expenses or its lavishness. It is too easy to print money and pay off their expenses. Meanwhile the common man is buried deeper and deeper under inflation.

Everyday someone hangs himself, someone commits suicide; someone poisons his kids and someone sets himself on fire; but its all in vain because as the poll on your right will indicate, a revolution won't come to Pakistan. The anti-climax after Raymond Davis' freedom proves that. The wife of Faizan committed suicide in vain; this government couldn't respect her wishes.

Am I a proud Pakistani today? Am I a better Pakistani today because we let Raymond Davis go free? No. I'm not proud and I'm not better. There isn't anything to be proud of. Today, by allowing Raymond Davis go free, the army, the judiciary and the government told us something. We're not America's servants anymore. We're its very own private whore.

Shocking facts about Pakistani income taxpayers

Sad but true. The rich get richer, the poor poorer. And
ironically, the poor get to pay the most.

Shocking revelations keep occurring in the Pakistani press. For example today it has been revealed that out of a population of almost 17 – 18 crore (170 – 180 million) people in Pakistan, only 17 lakhs (1.7 million) are registered income tax payers. Surprising?

But it goes deeper than this. According to the report published in the daily Dawn today, it has been alleged by the FBR (Federal Board of Revenue) that 16 lakhs (1.6 million) of the registered 17 lakhs (1.7 million) people pay only Rs 21000 as annual income tax. Why do they pay so less you may ask? Well that would be because they earn less than Rs 500,000 a year. Now let’s put all of this into context shall we?

Fact 1:

Pakistan’s total population – 170 million to 180 million (approx.)

Fact 2:

Pakistan’s registered income tax payers – 1.7 million

Fact 3:

Pakistan’s income tax payers paying Rs 21000 as annual income tax – 1.6 million

Fact 4:

The highest amount of income tax paid last year (2010) was Rs 50 lakhs (5 million)

In light of these facts, we can make some startling conclusions. To begin with, are only 1.7 million people out of 180 million earning any income in Pakistan? Seriously? Next, why is it that just 0.1 million or 1 lakh people in Pakistan earn more than Rs 500,000 in a year? That is just...mind numbing.

The Rs 50 lakhs, that the highest income earners paid is less than what it costs to buy a Land Cruiser. In fact, it is 1 crore less and there are only 526 people who declared that their tax amounts up to Rs 50 lakhs and who actually paid that amount. Astonishing isn’t it?

What am I supposed to say in front of these facts and figures? Words simply fail to register the magnitude of the disastrous state of our economy. Do I blame Zardari and Nawaz Sharif? Do I blame the government or the army? Or do I blame myself and the Pakistani population for being so selfish and self centred?

The 1.6 million people out of the 1.7 million who pay taxes contributed only Rs 87.662 billion to the national exchequer. These 1.6 million people belong to the lowest bracket of income tax payers. On the other hand, the top bracket of the income tax payers contributed Rs 286.023 billion to the national exchequer. Ironically, the collection of income tax from only the top 1706 taxpayers resulted in such a huge amount of money.

It is no wonder that the world governments, financial institutions, NGOs and what not keep repeating the mantra of Pakistan needs to help itself. The irony is that the Pakistani people don’t want to help themselves; apparently they can help themselves quite easily, and then lead a very good life too but somehow paying taxes has never been the strong point of the Pakistani culture.

These stats and figures paint such a dreary picture of our state of affairs that it has left me shell shocked and unable to fully comprehend the magnitude of the damage that we as a nation have been inflicting on ourselves. Where will we go from here? What will we do next? Has our collective conscience truly deserted us or is this simply a phase?

Sadly, we don’t have any answers to any of the questions that anyone might have. We’re just products of denial. And we’re damn good at it.

The education emergency

Education Emergency Pakistan

I've written about the state of affairs of the Pakistani education system before. I've also talked about how and why the government refuses to spend income on educating the masses. Consider my surprise then that when I stumble upon the website Educationemergency.com.pk, I find out that there are 26 countries in the world who are poorer than Pakistan and yet they spend more money on educating their children. Well ladies and gents (Zardari and co.) there goes your sublime myth of telling the world you don't have money. And just for the record, shame on you too!

Now when you goto that beautifully made website called March for Education (Pakistan), you will find out that there are 25 million children in Pakistan who are part of this education emergency. And what exactly is this emergency anyway?

Well the answer to that question is fairly simple. Pakistan has seen a steady and constant decline in its spending on the education sector. Consider this: There are at least 7 million children who are not in primary school. This number (7 million) is equal to the entire population of Lahore. 3 million of these children will never see the inside of a classroom.

Consider also a city the size of Faisalabad full of children. Imagine that not a single child from that sprawling metropolis will attend school and grow up to support himself or his parents as he dreams or imagines.

Under the 18th Amendment which was passed with much fanfare and jubilation, education is a fundamental right of all Pakistanis and the state pledges to educate all children up to the age of 16 years. But how does it intend to do that? According to the report issued by the Pakistan Education Task Force Pakistan is a signatory of the Millennium Development Goal for education which promises that by 2015:

...children everywhere, boys and girls alike, will be able to complete a full course of primary schooling and that girls and boys will have equal access to all levels of education.

But the problem is, and there always is a problem with Pakistan, the achievement of the MDG is now impossible. Out of every 10 children who're not is school, Pakistan is host to one of them. The real trouble is that if all the primary school children were to complete their education, they would have had to start their schooling latest by 2009. That did not materialize in Pakistan.

But there's more. At the current rate of educational progress, Punjab will provide primary education to its children by 2041, Sindh by 2049, Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa by 2064 and Balochistan by 2100. A staggering order because by the years mentioned, scores of new children who require primary schooling will have been added to the population.

There are 30% of Pakistanis who are living in extreme educational poverty which means that they do not access to any kind of education due to lack of resources. So where does the government stand on this?

It stands as far as possible from this crisis. In fact Mr Javed Laghari, the supremely famous Chairman of the HECP (Higher Education Commission of Pakistan) who gained notoriety for verifying that several of our lawmakers are in fact frauds, cheats and outright bastards, suggested that Pakistan is a success story in terms of educational achievement. Quite surprising really given that the UN says we're suffering from educational poverty. Or just maybe, the UN is a Hindu-Jewish-Zionist conspiracy against the Muslims of Pakistan?

It is high time we stopped living in denial. And only God knows how many times I've said this line. But the crux of stating all of this is simple; Pakistan is sinking and there's no one to save it. We can't jump ship unlike the cheats and scoundrels ruling over us. The only thing we can do is to make our voices heard.

Head over to Educationemergency.com.pk and sign the petition demanding that the government increase spending on the education sector. Spending just 1.5% of the GDP on education is truly tragic. And Mr Javed Laghari, you ought to shut up because suggesting Pakistan is a rising star in the education department whilst sitting in a country (Hong Kong) which spends 25% of its GDP on education is downright degrading and insulting.

Musharraf minces no words

After a long time, Pervez Musharraf has had a flash. A brilliant flash. He literally - literally - hammered this Indian journalist dude right on the head. Maybe he could do the same to Kamran Khan and Hamid Mir probably? Please?

Seeing Musharraf take on the media in such a strong fashion makes me wonder what in God's name was the PPP thinking of letting him leave Pakistan? They should've made him their foreign minister. He would've been so much better than that self declared 'Pir' Shah Mehmood Qureshi.

But even now, why isn't the PPP backing off? If it had any bit of patriotism (notice patriotism here means hatred for India), it should let Pervez Musharraf come back and lambast the Indians into smithereens with his awesome, macho talks. In fact, he should be hired as a motivational speaker for the Pakistan cricket team. That way, Pakistan will win the match without even having to play against their counterparts from across the border! And to be honest, watching Umar Gul and Sreesanth yell it out in the middle of the pitch is going to be much more entertaining than watching Sachin Tendulkar bat like the greatest batsman ever.

But Musharraf is more than mere words. You see anything, ANYTHING at all, even a donkey dry humping a buffalo for that matter, is going to be better than Rehman Malik, Babar Awan, Firdaus Ashiq Awan, Latif Khosa, Yusuf Raza Gilani etc. But Musharraf is a human. Now I know he did very terrible things in the land of the pure but he is - and the conviction in my heart cannot be stronger - better than the PPP. Of course choosing him is like choosing bad over the worse but that is indeed quite relevant and true.

Savour the old general's spicy remarks putting the Indian anchor in place. After all, that is the Pakistani nation's favourite time pass isn't it? Watching the Indians being bashed.

NOTE: This piece in no way means I hate India. It is sarcastic. So peace. And if you don't want peace, then go to your mom's house. I'm sure she'll give you cereal and that'll put a smile on your face. Bye bye now.

Nobody cares

I love blogging. As a matter of fact, I love blogging so much I spend almost half the time of my total online time on my blog. But of late, I haven't blogged so much. This has led to falling numbers of people visiting this blog. In fact, if you were to click the drop down menu of archives (on your right), you will see that the number of blog posts that I have been posting to The True Perspective have steadily been dropping per month.

Right now, I was looking at the stats figures for this blog and once again, the overall trend of number of pageviews has been on the decline. So what's the solution to all of this? Well naturally it is to update this blog more frequently, with better quality posts. But that right there is the problem.

Now I know there is so much to write about - even if I were to leave the world alone - but somehow I don't want to write about the depressing, regressive stuff anymore. The Raymond Davis issue stirred the pot, the politicians cringed and cribbed and talked about ministries and power slots as if they were flavours of ice creams, but the world moved on. Accidents happened, the Pakistan Railways ran out of diesel supplies, PIA crashed (the organisation, not any plane that they operate) but nobody cared.

Instigative and inflammatory articles by "respected" columnists appeared in national Urdu newspapers, Nawa-i-Waqt tried to cash in on the blasphemy fever too by proclaiming that the Imam of Masjid Muhabbat Khan in Peshawer was justified in placing a bounty of Rs. 500,000 on the head Aasia Bibi (the blasphemy accused who has been sentenced to death) but more importantly, nobody cared.

In Lahore the booze parties continued unabated, in Islamabad the rage of the town was the Facebook group called "Scandalous Islamabad" with their corny tagline "You know you love us - XOXO", in Karachi guys rocked with the gals in underground parties but still the world moved on, because as you know, nobody cared.

Marvi Memon went mad tweeting about how she experienced a day in jail where she was made to feel like a queen, Zardari pretended to be sad about the split with the PML-N, the PPP ministers in the Punjab pretended that they were important too, but you know they were snubbed by their own governor. Some party they've got going on, but once again, nobody cared.

Express Tribune's new banner for op-ed blogs.

The conspiracy theorists made a comeback with Zaid Hamid featuring prominently and loudly on Dunya TV, the Express Tribune tried to piss them off some more by designing this single eye banner, the fashion designer who wants to inspire the Muslim youth of this country (Maria B.) launched a new clothes line but once again, nobody cared.

And that is the problem. No one cares. No one wants to care. Everyone has given up on caring. But they all want a revolution; but fellas, here's the thing, nobody cares. Some of them want a return of the Caliphate, others want the army to mount a coup. And there are those that want the army to mount a coup so that the Caliphate can be established. All of you don't care because you're only as good and near to mounting a coup as Facebook or Twitter will allow you fakesters.

As the world (Middle East) breaks from the shackles of bondage, depravity, lack of equality, opportunities and education, we, the glorious Muslims of the world, the mandated ones to rid the world of evil sit in our slumber because, yeah you guessed it absolutely correctly, nobody cares.

What can you do with $ 70 billion?

I've decided in principle to take this blog back to its roots. What does that mean? It means that this blog will be a sanctuary for my brain's unwinding thought process. Yeah I know that doesn't make sense so let's just move on.

I've just found out that the man who goes by the name of Hosni Mubarak (the former President of Egypt for those of you who didn't know), is now being touted as the richest man in the world. According to Passport - a blog by the editors of the website ForeignPolicy.com - he may have stashed away as much as an astonishing $ 70 billion. Now that's just... what's the word I'm looking for here? Oh yeah, jaw dropping. Literally.

He had hidden his wealth well, in offshore accounts and investments in real estate and hotels. And the most famous place in the world for hiding ill-gotten wealth - the Swiss banks. But Hosni Mubarak was a corrupt man and he's well far, far away in Egypt. But let's take a look closer to home then, shall we? Yes. The man who sits atop the throne in Islamabad and who answers to the nickname of 'Mr 10 percent' is also known to be very corrupt, and very rich. He has mansions in Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad, as well as Dubai, UK, Spain, France (who knows but maybe Germany too?) and the USA. One can wonder then how much money he must have made? Obviously not anywhere near the $ 70 billion thunderbolt that surely must have dropped on the Egyptians, but it has to be in the billions of dollars. After all, a chateau in the south of France alone must cost many million dollars considering it's got its own private helipad. Last I checked, one of the stars for 7 star hotels is awarded because they have helicopter landing facilities. But that's not the point here.

The point is that the Swiss government has very recently announced and enacted a law that allows foreign governments to reclaim the monies that have been stashed away illegally in Swiss banks by corrupt politicians and dubious and shady dictators. If that is true, and according to the Swiss government it very much is, then I see no reason why the government of Pakistan should not initiate proceedings to checkout from where our (un)dear President has made the many dollars that he so graciously spends on his self? After all, being at the highest echelon of the Pakistan leadership hierarchy, he should have absolutely no qualms about making his assets and the sources for their funding public don't you think? And while we're at it, why single out Asif Zardari alone? Why not ask Nawaz Sharif to show the shame that he does not have and declare his assets as well? Last I heard, he had stated he has assets worth 1 crore and 70 something lac rupees. I'm sorry, but the Mercedes Benz S-Class he drives around in for fun alone costs more than 2.5 crore rupees. Tax evasion and that too from the self declared self righteous baboon of all self righteous hypocrites?

But once again I digress from the topic at hand. It is 0028 hours presently and all I can think about is what in God's name can one possibly do with $ 70 billion? And then there is the question of if the money even matters? Look at Hosni Mubarak, and look at Nawaz Sharif and Zardari. They are all hated and reviled even though they are billionaires. The only lot attracted to them are the leeches who would like to suck off all their money and feed of it. The love and attention that would have merited a stature for them is never forth coming. The reason is simple: They forget that they promised to be of the people, by the people, for the people. Instead, they got greedy and siphoned off huge amounts of public money into their very private pockets very away from the people.

And sadly, that's a deal breaker.

Who is responsible?

Much has been made of the killings in Lahore by Raymond Davis. People protested, others cringed, some didn’t care, and yet others did not even know an American had murdered two Pakistanis. Sounds strange doesn’t it? An American killed two Pakistanis in Pakistan. Usually, we’re more inclined towards hearing the reverse of this like a Pakistani tries to blow himself up in New York, or a Pakistani runs over an Irish dog in Little Minnesota. You get the idea. The tragic irony of this whole affair is that even though Raymond Davis shot and killed two Pakistanis, two lives which were not shot at have also been claimed by this incident. The first life of course was the man who was on a bike and happened to come in front of the Land Cruiser which was being driven by members of the American Consulate in Lahore, and which the Americans insist does not exist. The other life is the wife of Faheem (one of the murdered boys), who committed suicide after declaring she does not believe in this justice system, nor this government to get her justice.

But you know what’s more shocking? The total aloofness that the Punjab government has shown towards this incident. Kudos to them for at least showing to the world that they know Faheem’s wife has committed suicide. The federal government in its infinite wisdom has decided to keep its twat shut. Probably because it fears reprisals of some sort? No one knows for sure. But getting back to the Punjab government. Rana Sanaullah stated that if Faheem’s wife had such an issue with the justice system, she should’ve come to the Punjab government for help. Well excuse me, but why should SHE have come to YOU, when it is YOUR goddamn RESPONSIBILITY to ensure justice is provided to her in the first place? That all her concerns are addressed by you? What sort of a barbarian are you Rana Sanaullah that you absolve yourself of blame?

People often talk about how this death could spark a revolution in Pakistan, much like the self immolation of the fruit vendor in Tunisia. But it won’t. You see the Tunisians were genuinely concerned about their plight. We on the other hand have accepted ours. We aren’t ready to change the status quo because that would mean moving our lazy butts and that’s just too tiring and too difficult.

We demand justice, but we aren’t willing to fight for it. Tomorrow if Raymond Davis is handed back to the United States, none of us will really give a damn. Sure there will be a couple of protests, a lot of tweets, and lots of blogs over the injustice but at the end of the day when the dust will settle, we will be back at where we started. Truth be told, we wouldn’t even have moved from our place. The only solace is knowing the fact that Pakistan seems to be united in wanting justice this time around. What the Vienna Convention demands might be immunity, but the US has social and moral responsibility to see that justice is provided to the victims. And if it doesn’t do that, then the Government of Pakistan ought to realize that it has 180 million people on its back. The US might have cut of bilateral relations, but it does realize it will never be able to survive without Pakistan’s support in FATA and that has to be bargaining chip in this whole mess.

Justice needs to be served. Raymond Davis killed two Pakistanis who have thus far been proven innocent. Raymond Davis also indirectly murdered two other totally innocent lives. He needs to pay for his crimes and his sins. He needs to be told that Pakistan is an independent country with independent people and people like him are not welcome in the Motherland. He needs to be told that he will spend a very long time in the Pakistani prison system or alternatively, will be hung to death. If however he is proven innocent by the courts, then he is free to go wherever he wants. But if the government tries to extradite him “under diplomatic immunity” (read American pressure), it would be nothing more than a sack full of garbage heap. Which it already is.

If the Tunisians and Egyptians can do it, why can’t we?

They want Hosni Mubarak to go. What do we want?
(Photo: Bbc.co.uk) 

Tunisian former President Ben Ali and his wife.
(Photo: Bbc.co.uk)

Well the answer to that question is fairly simple. How shall I put this delicately...? Oh yeah, we’re LAZY. It is too much trouble to get out of bed and walk out onto the streets screaming for something that is out divine right. Good governance, justice, end to corruption, enforcement of rules and laws etc. Maybe that is because it gets too hot and humid in Pakistan and that’s a big turn off factor? But then, the lawyers’ march took place in March and that is relatively hot in Pakistan. So are we onto something here? We’re not.

The simple fact of the matter is that the Egyptians and Tunisians wanted change, and they wanted it so bad they were willing to die for it. Pakistanis? Our nature is inherently one which wants other people to die for us. So naturally when everyone is waiting for the other person to take a bullet for them, the whole point of a revolution becomes, well, pointless.

It’s not as if the Egyptians or the Tunisians were facing financial difficulties or anything. Egypt is one of the largest recipients of American aid after Israel. Tunisia makes its money on tourism and oil. Egypt has a booming tourist economy and the River Nile which has sustained the Egyptians for more than 5000 years. It’s not as if corruption was as high as Pakistan. It’s not as if the Tunisian businesses were ripping off consumers every day. It’s not as if people in Egypt were dying of car crashes because of poor build quality. None of that. In fact BMW actually sells “Made in Egypt” 7 series motor cars to Egyptian consumers. So it wasn’t as if Egypt or Tunisia were going down the drain like Pakistan.

The Egyptians and Tunisians had had enough of the dogmatism that had come to plague their lives. We on the other hand are so accustomed to these phenomenons that we’ve accepted them as integral parts of our daily routines. Without corruption our world would come crashing down. Without nepotism and jobbery, the unemployment levels would sky rocket. Without paying bribes, the bureaucratic structure of Pakistan would collapse. And without the sages of darkness lording over us, the wealth of Pakistan would become obscure.

So why can’t we do what the Egyptians and Tunisians have done? Because we don’t care. Because we’re stuck in a rut and we’ve refused to do anything for ourselves. It is so much more easier to spend the day cursing the corrupt band of politicians, generals, bureaucrats and businessmen, than to take up a bamboo stick and march down the road screaming for change. For change you need to have the will to face the wrath of those in power. None of us have that. If we had even a tiny bit of that self respect that revolutions demand, these mongrels of darkness who pretend to be kings of Pakistan would never step out of their houses because no one would allow their motorcades to pass through roads that are closed specifically for them. But we lack that; the Egyptians and the Tunisians don’t.

It took just one suicide, and act of self-immolation in Tunisia to bring about a revolution in just 28 days. Thousands commit suicides in Pakistan every week. Every other day people self immolate themselves in front of press clubs and houses of power. But has that brought about a revolution in Pakistan? Look around. You’ll find the answer. 18 women died in a stampede in Karachi trying to buy sugar last year and what did Fauzia Wahab have to say? That people should consume less sugar. It took just one protest demonstration in Egypt against extra judicial killing to jolt the people out of their shells. In Pakistan extra judicial killers are celebrated. The very famous case of Salman Taseer (late) v. Mumtaz Hussain Qadri comes to mind.

We are a nation lacking in the characteristics required to bring about a revolution; which is quite surprising really, because we were born out of one. 

Altaf Hussain’s OCD

The man who runs Karachi from London. (Photo:
Tribune.com.pk)

Altaf Hussain seems to have lost his marbles. His inane demands have left many normal, rational and sane people scratching their heads. Of course people other than the MQM workers hardly take him seriously (except when they’ve got MQM licensed guns to their heads) but that hasn’t quite been a stumbling block for him. He has stated in his arrogant, brash and frankly comical manner that he will save the country; that he will save the people; that he will change the destiny of Pakistan. Just one question though, when will he save him from himself?

It all started long ago when Altaf Hussain fled Pakistan and became a citizen of the United Kingdom (bless that country for being a mini, posh, upscale version of Pakistan). Since then, he hasn’t dared to show his face in Pakistani public again and the best we get to see of him – no wait. We only get to hear him over the telephone’s loud speaker – is when he decides that the people of Pakistan (MQM members) are starting to forget him. So he puts on his nutjob accent and addresses the people as if they give a rat’s ass about his views.

Of late Altaf Hussain seems to have developed an OCD (obsessive, compulsive disorder) condition that forces him to visualise himself being assassinated at the hands of the CIA or the ISI. Well God help us all. Then apparently, to please the masters that be in Pakistan, he claims that martial law is the only way out of the quagmire that we find ourselves in. Well lucky for him he’s not a Pakistani citizen, otherwise some overzealous lawyer would have filed a high treason case against him. Come to think of it though, I doubt that would have happened given MQM’s legendary intolerance for everything to do with its British leader.

Not only is Altaf Hussain’s demand for martial law insane, it is also oblivious of ground realities. I doubt the people of Pakistan will allow another dictator to steer the ocean liner called Pakistan. The most concession that they will allow is a midterm election, and frankly the MQM’s chances of winning any seats out of Karachi and Hyderabad look slim. Of course that hasn’t stopped the MQM godfather from procrastinating and berating the current PPP government. Ironically, he and his stooges are allies of the battered and bruised PPP government. Surprising really.

MQM appeared to be a progressive party which was genuinely interested in representing the masses’ views when Musharraf was in power and it had a free reign of Karachi. The transformation of Karachi in itself was a remarkable achievement. But ever since Altaf Hussain got that OCD condition, he has started to live more in a fantasy rather than taking decisions based on the prevalent realities. His call for revolution was, well, unorthodox given the circumstances. But what really made the call for revolution sound ludicrous was his appeal to the army and the judiciary to help Pakistan and its people by hijacking the country. Apparently, the Pakistani constitution means little more than pieces of paper sewn together.

The change that Altaf Hussain desires for the Pakistani nation should come from the people of Pakistan, not from the army or the judiciary which are in fact subservient to the people of Pakistan. Altaf Hussain should realize that the biggest asset in Pakistan is the Pakistani nation, not the army which he implores to take over the government or the judiciary which he wants to support the extra constitutional steps taken by the army. Maybe then the ‘revolution’ he keeps chugging on about will actually materialise. 

They’re all liars and cheats

Leave us be, you corrupt sages of darkness. (Photo:
Sagennext.com)

All of them. You see I believed in giving this incompetent and utterly horrible government a chance. I stuck to the decision of supporting these abhorrent villains for three years. Three years in which they tested my patience again and again and again. They looted the national exchequer, brought the national economy to a standstill, had the gall to say ‘let us do corruption’, proved their sheer bamboozling atrocities by openly welcoming known and declared forgers, scam and con artists back into the folds of the now disgraced national assembly after they were disqualified, making a mockery of the helpless citizens’ lives by declaring ‘they should eat less’, letting corrupt and dishonest fraudsters go scot free, ensuring that the expression ‘freedom of speech’ only applies to right wing extremists, bending over backwards to accommodate cheats and hypocrites like the mullahs from the JUI, giving us the in your face signal and openly showing their hypocritical attitude by accepting the demands of other corrupt parties like the PML-N and the MQM only because they wanted to save their seats.

There is a limit to everything. There is a limit to the stress one can take. After that there is an explosion, like the one you’ve just witnessed. Do I still want to support this government? No I do not. I don’t want a government at all. This country would run better without a government. Why do we have governments around the world? So that they can protect the people, ensure that the standard of living of the people improves, ensures that the sovereignty of the state is secured, and so that people can snuggle up cosily in their beds at night knowing that when they wake up, they will still have a roof over their heads that belongs to them. We also have governments so that education can be given to those willing to seek it, health facilities can be given to the poor and needy for free, the unprotected citizens of the state can be given protection and those flaunting the rules can be handed stringent punishments to remind them that they are equal in the truest sense of the word, to those whom they have been running over and pissing upon. Utopian sentiments I know, but at least that’s the vision. Maybe if the government had this vision it would’ve have gotten somewhere.

But no. This is the government which claims it has the credentials of the liberal left attached to it. I disagree, but maybe it assumed that by showing Rehman Malik on TV as the guy who can’t even say Bismillah properly, let alone recite Surah Ikhlas, it would retain the liberal minded people’s support. Well guess what? That was an epic fail. The poignant discourtesy that the collective bunch of loafers also known as the PPP does to us is that they fail to notice we’re not stupid. The PPP just lost a Governor of a province to a trigger happy extremist who has been patronised beyond measure and what did it do? Silence, only broken by agreeing to the extremists’ agenda. The liberals? No wait. What do you think a liberal even is? One who drinks? Party’s? Hangs out with women? Doesn’t pray? Thinks religion is outdated, and by association unnecessary? Wrong. That’s what you call an atheist or an agnostic because he has refused to believe in the validity of God. I am a liberal but I believe in God, and I believe in the Quran and I believe in Hazrat Muhammad (SAW). What I don’t believe in is the illogical, violence inciting, people killing, murderous brand of Islam that the mullahs seem to want to foist upon us. No sirs and madams, I will not be beaten into submission by these madmen that this pathetic government has let win, nor will I let their blackmail and terror silence my voice.

So what do I want then? I don’t know. I don’t want the Zardaris, the Gilanis, the Sharifs, the Khosas, the Awans, the Fauzia Wahabs and all those insolent, bottom wiping, hypocritical bigots that rule over us worse than the 12^th century Kings of the European Dark Ages. I want out. I don’t know how, and I don’t feel in the mood to really think about it right now. Maybe I’ll come up with a solution and let you know. Till then let’s all make a pact to pray to God to have mercy on us. Amen.