The hate is entrenched

Imran Khan (Image: Dawn.com)

I remember having a conversation with a friend a while back. It was about the filth that Imran Khan has mainstreamed. The uncouth language, the harebrained takes, the perversion, the duplicity. This friend of mine came back with the mother of all Teflon-esque responses; he said that it didn’t matter how Imran Khan talks, or how he behaves, or the degrading language he mainstreams, because that language is used in Punjab anyway. It was in that moment that I realized that the damage has already been done. Rational thought and argument has all but vanished from our citizenry. It is only vileness and hate that remains.

Twitter is a prime example of this exact phenomenon. Go to any tweet that offers some criticality of Imran Khan. You will not find decent discourse under it. What you will find instead is vileness, name calling, grudges and hate. Just today for example, Talat Hussain posted the letter that Imran Khan has penned to Arif Alvi asking that an inquiry be initiated against General Bajwa. Instead of taking the content of the tweet and the letter on its merit, the loafers of the cult of Imran came crawling out of the woodwork to attack Talat Hussain. They did not debate the merits or the contents of the letter. No. They just spewed their hate. 

Amongst this garbage, someone put up a response saying Talat Hussain is a journalist who’s been exposing Bajwa, Saqib Nisar and Niazi, and that he wished all pro Pakistan politicians would gather together under one banner. A perfectly innocent suggestion. But even that was not spared. He was attacked based on his looks and asked: why do you have a woman’s ponytail on your head?

Imran-Bajwa war offers a public window onto dirty games they were playing fr thr petty interests. Bajwa’s stupid bravado is biting him back.He was a small man in a big position. Imran’s own deeds r no less self incriminating. Both deserved each other. Pakistan deserved neither. pic.twitter.com/eh1Ka0o21w

— Syed Talat Hussain (@TalatHussain12) February 16, 2023

Often I am told by the cultists that Nawaz Sharif and his lackeys use degrading and defamatory language against Imran Khan too. I agree. There are certainly those in the corridors of the high castles that use derogatory language. But they don’t do it the way Imran Khan does it, or has done. For example, in Nawaz Sharif’s hard hitting recorded video about the 2018 election rigging, you will notice that he keeps using the term General Bajwa “sahib”, and he refers to him using the respectful title of “آپ”. Yet again there are those who counter this by saying so what? So what does it matter if Imran Khan uses derogatory language? So what if he uses boys locker room talk? So what if he uses sexist, misogynist tropes? At least he isn’t “corrupt”.

Facts don’t matter to the cult of Imran, so it is useless to state that Imran Khan is corrupt, and not just financially at that; he’s also morally and ethically corrupt. The extent of the corruption that prevailed under him and by him includes: laundering of hundreds of millions by his cronies including Farah Gogi, Usman Buzdar, Malik Riaz, Jehangir Tareen, Bushra Bibi; legalizing the corrupt and forceful seizure of land for housing societies; looking the other way when journalists were picked up, shot, beaten, disappeared. Pretending to make riyasat-e-Medina all the while legalizing the illegal Hyatt Towers in Islamabad, where he was presented with two flats. His corruption has had such far reaching consequences that they have corrupted the minds of the brainwashed generation. He has fed them fodder and eroded their critical thinking skills. The damage has been devastating, and the hate he has filled in those crevices is now entrenched. Remember when Naeem ul Haq slapped Daniyal Aziz on TV and Imran Khan’s response was “why didn’t you punch him instead?” There is hatred where there was disagreement. He has divided a nation that cannot afford such division and hate. 

Imran Khan is not the promised messiah. He certainly presented himself as one, and he along with the super king Bajwa was able to brainwash a lot of the people desperately looking for a savior into believing that he is one. But he is not. Leaders — corrupt or not — are supposed to lead. And when a leader is a text book narcissist, a hypocrite, a master of deceit, a grade A sexist and misogynist, a pervert, morally and ethically corrupt, he legitimizes this perversion in his followers.

Imran Khan is a 70 year old boomer. You can’t teach him to mend his ways. He is part of that classic privileged, elitist bad boy club who got away with everything. He’ll get away with this too. But the damage he has unleashed is permanent. It will take a new generation (and one that needs to be taught love, empathy and kindness, all of which we cannot because it has been systematically drilled out of us) to right this broken and hollow ship. Until then, the troll army of the grand charlatan will keep spreading their lies, filth and deceit around.

The death of Pervez Musharraf

Pervez Musharraf

This is not a eulogy. I grew up in the era of Musharraf. I was a teenager, living in a privileged bubble watching as the country flush with American dollars boomed; metaphorically and literally. Pakistan had recently discovered the concept of marking up land values, and the terrorists had discovered that you can brainwash young men and women to blow themselves up. And such was my existence. The closest I’ve come to this boom was when my family migrated from a trusty old Suzuki Khyber, to the status symbol of the newly minted middle class, the Corolla GLi; and when the parade lane suicide bombing took away the lives of friends and people I had known; and that one time when I luckily missed being caught in the middle of a suicide bombing by 15 minutes (the attack on the then Surgeon General of Pakistan, Lt Gen Mushtaq Ahmed Baig).

I remember Musharraf’s fists of power in the air as he was informed of the carnage that unfolded in Karachi. And I remember when he said Pakistan has now embarked on an era of enlightened moderation. Privilege has this uncanny habit of making you blind to the pain, misery and suffering that surrounds you. Because it doesn’t affect you and bother you. It affects and bothers others. And who cares about others when you’re privileged?

It was only later that I recognized what a poisonous and treasonous snake the man who had said “Pakistan first!” actually was. Because if he had actually put Pakistan first, he wouldn’t have tried to play with its destiny like a man flipping a house for quick money does. Selling people for dollars to satiate the American appetite of goriness; filling the country and its institutions with holier than thou army officers who had no business or knowledge running those institutions; repurposing the law of the land and landing jiujitsu chops on it to make himself the tall and high lord of the country. I believe he thought he was doing the right thing. I believe he thought he knew what Pakistan needed, and I believe he thought he knew how to do it. Back then there were only 140 million of us, and the sad reality is that one man, no matter how perfect (let alone a treasonous snake), cannot, will not and has not ever been able to fix the mess. If it takes a village to raise a child, you can bet it was going to take a lot more people than one Pervez Musharraf to raise Pakistan.

But perhaps the most iconic and stunning blunder of his era — and the example that perfectly encapsulates that he believed himself to be the Napoleon Bonaparte of our times — was before he booted Nawaz Sharif from office. It was the wild, incomprehensible idea to turn the Line of Control into an active war zone. There was no need for that. Absolutely none. But Musharraf’s stupidity was such that he decided to take Kargil by himself; without informing his Prime Minister, without informing his own corps commanders, or the services chiefs of the branches of our military. We saw this film play out before, in 1965. When another tiny IQ man fancying himself as the liberator of Kashmir didn’t inform the Air Force of his folly to invade Kashmir. Anyway, the Indian response to Musharraf’s wet dream was swift, dramatic, and intense. It got so bad, that the same chief who had decided he would take Kargil and kill India’s aspirations of ever accessing Kashmir again, had to publicly deny that the soldiers who’s dead bodies were freezing in the mountains of Kargil were his. The shamelessness of it all should’ve made Musharraf rethink his rhetoric, but a narcissist never questions his antics. He only finds blame. It was the Indian Army that buried the men Musharraf had sent in to take Kashmir from them.

Musharraf was a larger than life personality. But he was a dictator who thought he knew better, just like the narcissists before him, and the narcissists after him. Just like all his predecessors and his successors, he too sought to place blame on anyone but himself. But history is not kind to those who are immoral and unprincipled. Because ultimately, the populist rhetoric wears off and the only thing left is you, your morality, your humanity, and your principles. And when the whole basis of your legacy is based on subversion, abrogation and treason, you cannot hope to be remembered fondly.

Farewell Musharraf. 

“Violence is justified, as long as my party is perpetrating it.”

Naeemul Haq of the PTI (pictured) slapped Daniyal Aziz of the PML-N on TV

Violence. The great means to the great end; the great end being the establishment of the Naya Pakistan. For if the end is the creation of Naya Pakistan, who cares if a few people get slapped along the way, right?

For those who still don’t know, Naeemul Haq of the PTI slapped Daniyal Aziz of the PML-N, on Muneeb Faruq’s show on Geo, after Daniyal Aziz called Naeemul Haq a ‘thief.’ What a noble man is Naeemul Haq, that he gets offended when somebody calls him a thief. Clearly, we must all side with him for he is the radical revolutionary we have been waiting for, the one who will deliver us from our penance, and then we can start actually building the Naya Pakistan.

Whether you find this sad, alarming or hilarious, there are those who actually believe everything I’ve written up there.

You see it started in 2014, when the great Imran Khan of Mianwali decided it was OK to mainstream uncouthness into Pakistan’s politics. When it was pointed out that more is expected from the leader of a party that claims to represent the educated, urban lot of Pakistan, his followers came out of the bushes like snakes and consistently asked ‘so what if he uses uncouth language?’ Well so his lackey slaps a minister on TV. That’s what. It doesn’t take a genius to draw that line. One would’ve hoped the great Khan would reprimand Naeemul Haq, like he is wont to do with Nawaz Sharif and Shahbaz Sharif, but his Twitter account sits quiet today.

But Imran Khan not berating Naeemul Haq is not out the ordinary. In fact, one might go so far as to call it “mundane.” Imran Khan who indulges in uncouthness himself is hardly the kind of person you would expect to come to the aid of Daniyal Aziz, or tell his minion to apologize, or say that this is not how civilized people behave. Imran Khan then, is like Khadim Hussain Rizvi. When Rizvi was asked about the filthy, vulgar language he employs in his sermons and his homilies, he said even at the time of the prophet the companions used such language. It is nothing bad, or out of the ordinary. It didn’t take too long for that vile language to turn into a full fledged war on the state of Pakistan either.

So it should come as no surprise then that the followers of Imran Khan — the ones who claim they are the educated, urbanized, progressive, modernist people of Pakistan — say Daniyal Aziz deserved being physically assaulted because “he was taught a lesson.”

It’s absolutely what a danyal aZiz deserves ... in Pakistan if you call a passerby one bad word he runs after you hence danyal was slapped and taught a lesson

— Naz Fatima (@NazFatima17) May 23, 2018

According to the perverted logic by this person, it would be quite OK now for any PML-N supporter to go and “teach” Imran Khan a lesson by punching him in the face, or “teach” Asad Umar a lesson by throwing a shoe at him, or “teach” Jehangir Tareen a lesson by violently accosting him. I mean, it is OK to use violence to teach people a lesson apparently.

This periphery that we’re standing on, is unacceptable. You may hate the words and actions that your opponent uses. You may hate their guts. You may hate the fact that they refuse to see your point of view, but know that you are in the wrong if you stand behind the person who violently accosts another person just because you don’t like the words that he’s saying.

I’ve seen Naeemul Haq up close. He can usually be found sitting at the Burning Brownie cafe in F-11 Markaz in Islamabad on weekend nights. I’ve always been put off by his vibe, but I never imagined that this lazy, cantankerous waste of human flesh would have it in him to slap a person from an opposing political party. Clearly, our politics has reached a point where this is an acceptable modus operandi.

This is not the Naya Pakistan I had envisioned when Imran Khan first coined the term. Instead of it meaning something positive or good, Naya Pakistan has become a pejorative term; the kind you want to disinfect yourself from. I really hope Imran Khan will put his money where his mouth is, and reprimand Naeemul Haq. Because if not, this will just be one more item in the list of hypocrisies Imran Khan has committed and is known for.

In defense of Nawaz Sharif

Nawaz Sharif

And once again I must brace myself, for the torrent of “you love Nawaz Sharif” trolls is forthcoming. But that’s OK, because sometimes objectivity and truth is more important than reality denying denizens attacking your integrity. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let us talk about Nawaz Sharif.

Two days ago, an interview which Nawaz Sharif gave to Cyril Almeida of Dawn was published in which Sharif claimed:

“…we have isolated ourselves. Despite giving sacrifices, our narrative is not being accepted. Afghanistan’s narrative is being accepted, but ours is not. We must look into it. Militant organizations are active. Call them non-state actors, should we allow them to cross the border and kill 150 people in Mumbai? Explain it to me. Why can’t we complete the trial?”

This statement of his, particularly his allusion to the fact that non-state militant organizations active on Pakistani soil were used to kill people in the Mumbai attack has caused the military establishment and its social media mongering masses’ libido to go into overdrive. Some choice comments from social media following the publishing of Nawaz Sharif’s interview present the following narrative: Nawaz Sharif is a traitor! Look how he defames Pakistan! He is an Indian agent! He has been placed in Pakistan for Indian interests!

The outlandishness of these claims is only exceeded by the outlandishness of the well read, well connected, well educated masses, who have ample access to fact checking resources, yet still choose to not only believe in such nonsense, but revel in spouting it off. When it is the educated people who hawk such nonsense, it is an indicator that any debate on merit and value is effectively dead in Pakistan. Nawaz Sharif is a traitor because he is a traitor, ergo anything he will say and do is because he is a traitor.

Just the other day I was having a discussion with a friend and I told him the genius of the military establishment is not that they can meddle and muck with the civilian government; it is that they have made the general public believe that it is not only acceptable, but it is actually for the greater good. Spoiler alert: we’ve seen this film before, and the greater good is a pound of horseshit that never hits home. Nawaz Sharif being removed from the post of the premiership on the flimsiest of excuses, the censorship imposed on him, the humiliation he is being subjected to (re: not being given an extension to visit his cancer-stricken wife), is not only acceptable, it is actually preferable because it is “for the greater good.”

Tomorrow (May 14, 2018), the military has called for a meeting of the National Security Council “…to discuss recent misleading media statement regarding the Bombay [sic] incident.” No doubt, the Supreme Ruler of Pakistan, General Qamar Javed Bajwa will tell his puppet Shahid Khaqan Abbasi, the Prime Minister of Pakistan, to put the out of control madman Nawaz Sharif on a leash. In what universe does any of this make sense, or sound appropriate?

But let’s back up for a moment. In 2009 Rehman Malik held a national presser in which he proclaimed:

“Some part of the conspiracy has taken place in Pakistan. We have lodged an FIR into the case.”

He then went on to say that the “attackers left from Karachi on a boat hired from Balochistan” and that, “an e-mail claiming responsibility for the attack was sent by Zarrar Shah of the Lashkar-e-Taiba.” All this was admitted by the Interior Minister of Pakistan … in 2009.

In 2016 Rehman Malik further said (in response to David Headley’s testimony):

“We have the details about who paid tickets, who funded him and how he recruited non-state actors from Pakistan [for the attacks].”

But that’s Rehman Malik. He too is a traitor in the mould of Nawaz Sharif. Why should we listen to him?

OK then. Here’s General (R) Mahmud Durrani, the National Security Advisor describing the 26/11 Mumbai attack in his own words:

“I hate to admit that the 26/11 Mumbai attack carried out by a terror group based in Pakistan on November 26, 2008 is a classic trans-border terrorist event.”

Mahmud Durrani further went on to explain that he has —

“… very good information that the government of Pakistan or the ISI was not involved in 26/11. I am 110% sure.”

Then there is Bob Woodward, Michael Hayden and Hussain Haqqani who all said the same thing — that General Pasha (ISI chief at the time) admitted that the Mumbai attack was planned and executed from Pakistan by non-state actors. His exact words are said to have been “the people were ours, the operation was not.”

Now that you have all this information, scroll up and look at the statement Nawaz Sharif made. Does it sound traitorous and treasonous anymore? Does asking a legitimate question — can we allow non-state actors to operate from our soil? — really make one a traitor to Pakistan? Because if this is the definition we’re using now, it’s only a matter of time before each and everyone, including those who think they’re above board, are accused of treason.

This is not to say that Nawaz Sharif is without fault and we need to defend his integrity. Not at all. What this is about is the fact that a de facto shadow government is in place, with unwilling puppets dancing in front taking the abuse. Nawaz Sharif’s self-indulgence is revolting, his satiation repulsive, but in the same vain ask yourself why him only? Why do we think it is OK to break every single norm that we bandy about as being essential to a democratic, prosperous Pakistan when it comes to Nawaz Sharif and single him out? If there is accountability, it should be across the board. But does it look that way to you?

If your answer is “for the greater good,” and that it needs to start from somewhere, I have nothing but despair and hopelessness for you. The greater good is nothing, if it is not for everyone including those you hate, loathe and detest. 

When contemptible street scum actually is contemptible

Abid Sher Ali (left) and Rana Sanaullah (right)

Shireen Mazari uses the word ‘guttersnipes’ to describe the filthy Rana Sana, Abid Sher Ali and Talal Chaudhry of the PML-N. As an upstanding citizen of Pakistan with the moral obligation to tell misogynistic a-holes to go to hell, I stand with her and her choice of words to describe these men.

So PMLN guttersnipes have come out showing their gutter origins by using filthy lang ag PTI women - from Abid Sher Ali to Talal Ch to Rana Sanaullah & in footsteps of Kh Asif! Can respond in kind abt PMLN women but will not stoop to gutter level! Let them wallow in their filth

— Shireen Mazari (@ShireenMazari1) April 30, 2018

It all started when Abid Sher Ali in his infinite (lack of) wisdom decided to call Shireen Mazari a ‘tractor trolley’ on the floor of the parliament; the very same parliament where we expect the best of us to go and debate and listen and make laws. Instead of apologizing, he doubled down on his vulgarity and gave a new weapon to PML-N supporters — that it was OK for them to harass and verbally abuse the women of PTI.

It is no secret that the PML-N has always been envious of Imran Khan’s unrelenting popularity in the upper-middle class of Pakistan. This class is educated, moneyed, social, outgoing and constantly calls for changes to the established power structures that we’ve been seeing since the 1980s. So how does the PML-N react to this class? They go after the upper-middle class women by slut-shaming them. In their tiny, regressive worldview, the PML-N yanks think that slut-shaming these women will elicit the same reaction that they would have if somebody slut-shamed their own mothers, wives and daughters — hurt the ego of the men.

Will boycott interviewing Abid Sher Ali, Rana Sanaullah and all such misogynist creeps if they don’t publicly apologise. Enough is enough.
All female anchors/journos should boycott them. #RespectWomen

— Rabia Anum (@RabiaAnumm) April 30, 2018

But this vileness does not swing from one tree. PTI is also notorious when it comes to lack of women protection. The vitriol they spew against Maryam Nawaz Sharif Safdar, or Ayesha Gulalai, or heck, even Imaan Mazari (daughter of Shireen Mazari) will leave anyone’s mouth agape. It all points to the bigger fact that these men (of the PML-N and PTI) believe it is OK if women are befouled as long as it’s the women of the other side; it only becomes an issue if it’s the women of their own side who are harassed.

@MaryamNSharif @marvi_memon @Sairaafzalpmln @shaistapervaiz @Marriyum_A & all other women in PMLN:

Have the moral courage to stand up to safeguard respect of ur female colleagues 2day & women in general by ENSURING action is taken over the FILTH spewed by your party-bearers,

— ایمان زینب (@ImaanZHazir) April 30, 2018

I do not expect Rana Sanaullah or Abid Sher Ali to be punished by the leadership of the PML-N. Rana Sana’s foul mouth has uttered unbelievable vitriol in the past without a single hair ruffling on either of the Sharif brothers’ heads. It will be no different this time. What I am happy to see is that instead of the people saying “this is more of the same,” they’ve really taken both Rana Sana and Abid Sher Ali to the cleaners. Rabia Anum of Geo says she will not invite or interview Rana Sana, Abid Sher Ali or any other “misogynist creeps” until they apologize. Imaan Mazari has publicly called out Maryan Nawaz Sharif Safdar, Marvi Memon, Saira Afzal and Shaista Pervaiz and demanded that they stand up to safeguard the respect of their female colleagues.

Will this ugliness make any difference to the political careers of those who foul-mouth women as if they were consuming Rooh Afza on a hot summer day? Most probably not. But if there’s one thing everybody can be proud of, it’s that the conscientious people of Pakistan will not stay silent in the name of such backwardness anymore. 

When the election turns into a selection

Khawaja Asif

Imran Khan likes to refer to Nawaz Sharif as The Godfather because the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom decided to reference “The Godfather” (a fictional book by Mario Puzo) in the Panamagate verdict. He likes to use it because because the analogy reinforces the idea that Nawaz Sharif is a don (head of the PML-N), surrounded by his henchmen (top leadership of the PML-N), running Pakistan’s version of the Sicilian mafia. Today, the Islamabad High Court disqualified another one of Nawaz Sharif’s henchmen — Khawaja Asif, for life. Khawaja Asif said he’ll appeal the verdict in the Supreme Court, but we all see a lost cause when we see one, right?

Or maybe we don’t. This is more fuel to the fire. First, they went after Nawaz Sharif. They technically couldn’t do much to him because hey, nothing — not the offshore companies and not the accursed flats in London —  was actually in his name. They were either under his sons’ names, or they were under Maryam Nawaz Sharif Safdar’s name. So what did they do? They pulled the lamest excuse in the entire universe, that Nawaz Sharif is dishonest and untruthful because he did not declare that he could have received a salary from the company of his son, registered in Dubai, and even though he actually did not receive that salary, he still could have received it, to disqualify him from the prime ministership. You still want to say they weren’t out to get him from the start?

Khawaja Asif’s case is different. He has an iqama of the UAE — a residence visa — which allows him the ability to flitter between Pakistan and Dubai should the going get tough; which it seems to have gotten. But the judges said it was not his iqama that was the problem; it was the fact that he was receiving a monthly salary from Dubai, and had not declared his employment in his nomination papers. This made him ineligible to contest the elections in the first place. In 2017, Usman Dar of the PTI filed a petition challenging the legality of Khawaja Asif’s election and thus, Khawaja Asif was also found dishonest and untruthful much like Nawaz Sharif and now, he’s out on his butt for the rest of his life. The establishment’s blue eyed boy celebrates wild today.

We are part of the democratic process. This means that when a judge passes a ruling, we are bound by our civic duty as upstanding citizens of our country to accept it. But even the judges in this case had to concede that this ugliness has gone on for far too long now. Justice Athar Minallah wrote in the judgement that:

“It would have been been appropriate if the petitioner [Usman Dar of the PTI] had gone to the parliament to deliberate on this matter, before invoking the jurisdiction of the court.” 

But Usman Dar did not go to the parliament. He used the precedent set by the Supreme Court, which weaponized Articles 62 and 63 of the constitution of Pakistan, and used it as a sword to cut off Khawaja Asif’s political legacy.

The judiciary (and by extension, the PTI) has made a complete mockery of the democratic and political process in Pakistan. It is the people of Pakistan who elected Nawaz Sharif, Khawaja Asif, Chaudhry Nisar, Imran Khan, Usman Dar, Jehangir Khan Tareen, Asad Umar, and it should be the people of Pakistan who should decide how to punish those who lie to them. And the ladies and gentlemen that the people of Pakistan have elected to sit in the parliament of Pakistan, should deliberate on what needs to be done to those who violate the sanctity of the oath that they’ve taken. That’s the democratic process.

Instead, we’ve got power hungry maniacs invoking a judicial martial law and using it again and again to fire at those that they’re opposed to. The judiciary’s role is not to adjudicate on the political destiny of Pakistan; that is the job of the parliament and the people of Pakistan. The judiciary’s job is to ensure that due process and the spirit of the law is followed.

As it turns out, the PTI would much rather have the judiciary of Pakistan decide the political destiny of Pakistan, even if it means the spirit of the law gets trampled beneath the heavy boots of irony.

Why I do not support Imran Khan

Azadi March 2014

I do not believe Imran Khan has the skills, or the fortitude to lead this country. The only thing people keep saying in his defense is that we've tried the rest, now we should give him a chance. But he had a chance. That chance is called KPK. He failed miserably.

His foreign policy has no sense or direction, his interior policy is extremely dangerous for the country and his emotional tantrums make him unfit to be an administrator. And because he's made the same tall claims that the rest of our political gentry has made, you can be rest assured he'll fall even more spectacularly than the Sharifs (if they fall of course). By comparison the Sharifs policy of non confrontational politics and reconciliation is a refreshing and welcome change.

Imran Khan's only calling for the resignation of Sharifs because he wants to be the next prime minister. That is it. I would've agreed with him, heck even supported him if his so called freedom march was for accountability of the Lahore genocide; was for electoral reforms; was for drafting new local body rules and elections; was for re-elections in the districts that were found to be rigged (so far all of PTI's petitions have been rejected because they couldn't prove their allegations).

But I am not going to support a pied piper who's deluded himself into believing he is the rightful heir to a throne in Islamabad, and who will kill the system just so he can have his way.

The curse of the Qadri

Tahir Ul Qadri

It was around a year and a half ago that Tahir Ul Qadri was sitting in a heated bullet proof container in front of the Parliament building of Pakistan while thousands upon thousands of people froze in the cold Islamabad night outside. Back then Qadri had arrived on a similar mission to the one he’s about to embark on today - rid the country of its current rulers. He failed miserably. Not only did he let thousands suffer on his behalf, but he also did not achieve anything and left with his tail between his legs. I said at the time that Tahir Ul Qadri is not Pakistan’s promised messiah. I say it again today.

And now tomorrow he arrives with similar ambitions. Thousands of men, women and children will join him in the sweltering heat of Pakistan’s hot summer and all of them will boil under the sun while the self-promised messiah sits inside an air conditioned bullet proof container. After all, who has the time to give a rat’s ass about normal, regular people, right?

The unmistakeable irony of Tahir Ul Qadri’s mission is that he has no stake in the entire process anyway. He’s a Canadian citizen, where he resides most days of the year, and only ever comes to Pakistan on these blitzkrieg missions where he disrupts the lives of thousands of people and then leaves without achieving anything. The man is amoral; he uses religion to propagate his own nefarious designs and agendas and has no qualms about how many precious lives are lost in the process. His claims are as hollow as his gratuitous lies and his claim to fame is based on an absurd tale of deceit, corruption and dishonesty.

But I digress. As a citizen of Pakistan he has a right to protest whatever demonic cause he so chooses. On the other end of the spectrum we have the Sharif brothers who have been trying to run this country like their own private enterprise. Just one problem with that whole plan: Countries don’t work that way. On the day the Punjab police conducted a mini genocide in Model Town Lahore, the Khadim-e-Ala Shahbaz Sharif appeared on TV and said if it is proven that he had anything to do with this massacre he would resign. Of course no one took him seriously because a) he has promised to resign for things so many times it’s like a running joke now and b) as the chief minister of Pakistan’s most prosperous province there was no way in hell that this man did not know what was going on. Was he at a hair salon getting new hair plugs? I hardly think so. So by common logic, go stand in front of metro bus and let it crush you Shahbaz Sharif, you shameless lying twerp.

Saroop Ijaz in an op-ed for the Express Tribune said it brilliantly “…Mian Sahib, we stand with you for the sake of democracy, however for your own sake stand by yourself.” There is heavy truth in those words. Yes, the process of democracy is slow, painful and fragile. It takes time to yield results. But the truth is for the first time in Pakistan’s history it is at a point where we can be hopeful about its outcome. While I am no supporter of Nawaz Sharif or his ilk, I do maintain strongly that the democractic process, one that Tahir ul Qadri is trying to upend, needs to be defended at all costs. This however does not mean that the government needs to go batshit crazy because it is so scared of a pseudo preacher from Canada and his followers. If Qadri wants to protest, then let him protest. If he wants to cry out loud, then let him do that. Democracy is not a one way street. While I disagree with Qadri, I also disagree with the government’s reaction to the arrival of Qadri. The only losers of this confrontation will be us, the normal, regular people of Pakistan.

I thought things in Pakistan couldn’t get worse than the lynching of the two brothers, Mughees and Muneeb Butt, in Sialkot. However since that fateful event I have been proven wrong so many times, I have literally lost count. Selfish men who are out of touch with reality and who have larger than life egos have never been able to make wise decisions. We’re witnessing a prime example of that today.

If Musharraf's a traitor, then Nawaz Sharif isn't that far behind either

Nawaz Sharif and Pervez Musharraf when they were best pals

Khawaja Saad Rafique is a man of many words. Recently, he said:

"There is no doubt that Musharraf is a traitor; he is Pakistan's worst offender."

Technically Musharraf is a traitor. He subverted the constitution of Pakistan for personal gain. But is he Pakistan's worst offender? Well Khawaja saab needs to get a neuro-exam so that he doesn't continue to spout off such utter nonsense.

I have always believed that Musharraf needs to be held accountable for his mistakes. There is no doubting the fact. But I have also always maintained that those baying for his blood need to be held accountable for their actions too. Nawaz Sharif for example lied to the people of Pakistan about his "deal" with Musharraf. Let's go back. His goons trashed the Supreme Court of Pakistan. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. Let's rewind up a bit more. Nawaz Sharif got into bed with Zia-ul-Haq, the madman who slaughtered Pakistan for his hypocritical gains. Maybe Nawaz Sharif needs to be brought to book as well. I mean, when we're calling one person a traitor based on certain parameters, those parameters need to be applied across the board, right?

The hypocrisy needs to stop. If Musharraf's head is rolled, then I suggest everybody else who's responsible for fucking Pakistan up from 1947 also gets the same treatment. If the law is to be applied, it should be applied equally. This selective amnesia that everybody seems to have needs to be checked.

When Pakistan started dying...

People gather at the site of the Quetta blast - AFP photo

My heart cries tears of blood for the Hazaras... #ShiaGenocide, when will we wake up?... What has Pakistan come to?! Oh God!!... This country does not deserve to be called ‘PAK-istan’...

These statements, are cliches. They mean nothing. They have no purpose. They’re just uttered to make ourselves feel good about atrocities which we mostly can’t, and usually won’t do anything about. 40 Hazara Shias died yesterday. How many of us cared? 18 people died in Peshawer yesterday. How many of us bothered to find out 3 kids died in that attack? How many of us had the apathy to find out that the doctors and rescue teams ran in terror as the terrorists from LeJ told them they would be murdered if they tried to treat the “kafir” Shias who needed treatment?

I’m going to launch a protest movement on Facebook! Enough is enough!... I’m live tweeting the #HazaraGenocide... This madness needs to stop!...

Yesterday when David Cameron was standing under the open skies of Islamabad, people were dying in Peshawer. While Nawaz Sharif was saying we’re going to fight terrorism, and eradicate the electricity menace, kids were burning, screaming, dying. Did a single hair on his shiny head ruffle? Did he shudder? Did he feel a cold settling in his gut? Did he care enough to go to Peshawer and look the mother of the 6 year old girl in the eye and tell her “I’ve failed... Forgive me? We’ve all failed, forgive us all...?”

I used to think Pakistan belonged to us. It’s only recently I’ve realized Karachi belongs to A, Quetta belongs to B, and Lahore belongs to C. FATA belongs to the foreigners, and Islamabad is home to ostriches. Pakistan is not mine. Even my home is not mine. I am not a Pakistani. None of us are. Or ever were. It was a delusion that took 65 years to wear off. Abul Kalam Azad, a fierce opponent of the Pakistan movement had predicted in 1946 what would happen to us. East Pakistan would break, and the west wing of Pakistan which was to be ruled by feudal lords, and uneducated loafers would self destruct. Abul Kalam Azad said in 1946 this delusional idea of “we’re all Muslims and hence one nation” is false. We are not one nation. We are Sunni, Shia, Ahmedi, Barelvi, Wahabi, Sufi, Salafi, Hanbali, Ismaili, Alawi, Naqshbani, Uwaiysi, Qadri, Zikri and so on and so forth. And amongst these we are Takfiris, incapable of accepting the faith of another, or living by it.

Shias are kafirs, they deserve what they’re getting... Our movement is to get Shias declared as non Muslims under the constitution of Pakistan... Killing Shias is tantamount to killing the enemies of Islam, and that is what Islam tells us....

It seems such a long time ago when I was apologizing to the Shias, but even that apology sounds fake, and hollow, and distraught. Last time the Hazaras took 86 dead bodies and waited in the open cold under the star less night waiting for deliverance which never came. How many more dead bodies must they put under the open skies for us to realize what monstrosity has just ripped through us?

They say after every fall, there is a rise.... But the bottom feels like an endless pit of sweltering tar that’s pulling us deeper inside....

Pakistan started dying the day it was born. Our “Islam”, our “Musalmaniyat” was the cancer that started feeding the hate and disgust that we feel toward one another. Once upon a time it was the Christians and Hindus and Parsis who felt scared. Now we Muslims feel scared...of other Muslims. Islam’s neck was held by the throat and squeezed till its eyes popped. As a result Islam was replaced by a vicious form of barbarianism.

When Pakistan started dying, we held candlelit vigils. We made Facebook pages dedicated to the cause of defending our fallen brothers. We promised we’re all Pakistanis. But one by one we kept falling. When Pakistan started dying we tweeted non stop. We shouted, fought, lost. When it was our turn to be slaughtered like animals, we cried and we begged for mercy that was never forthcoming. They came for the Hindus. We didn’t care. They came for the Christians. We didn’t care. They came for the Ahmedis. We said Ahmedis deserve this! They slaughtered Salman Taseer. We garlanded his murderer. They came for the Shias. We turned a blind eye. They’re coming for us. And pretty soon our eyes will be popping out of our heads too.

Musharraf's wealth explained

Pervez Musharraf

65 crores. That's the value of assets declared by Pervez Musharraf in his nomination papers submitted to the election commission of Pakistan. He also has not paid any tax in the last 3 years to the government of Pakistan. Several questions have been raised about the source of Musharraf's funds (which he did not mention) and why he did not pay any taxes.

Let's discuss those questions.

How did Musharraf end up making so much money when he was in fact a government subordinate and retired with not much (relatively) money? The answer to that would be that since his self imposed exile, Musharraf has gone on various international lecture series and tours. The average compensation for one lecture is $100,000 (that's almost 1 crore rupees, give or take). Now in the past 4 years if Musharraf has even done 25 lectures, that means he's earned 25 crores. Assuming he is an educated man and is not overly stupid, he must have (and he did indeed) made a lot of investments which have returned handsome profits to him. So where he got his money should be clear for all to see.

Now the second question, why didn't he pay any taxes? Well according to the Pakistan tax rules, residents of Pakistan earning income abroad are not liable to pay taxes on that income within Pakistan. The Pakistani tax rules assume that because Pakistanis send valuable foreign exchange to Pakistan, it is more than enough to not double charge them (unlike the United States of America, where foreign income is tax deductible). Hence, Musharraf did not pay any income taxes for the last three years he was not in Pakistan. The pension he gets already is tax deducted (income tax is deducted at source) and while we do not know why he did not pay any property taxes (maybe the properties are not in his name? Maybe he did pay the taxes through a proxy that don't appear in his name? Maybe he is indeed, a tax defaulter?) we can be reasonably sure that the money he did make is indeed legitimate.

And finally there's the biggest question of them all, one that doesn't even concern Musharraf. What about the other so called "sadiq" and "ameen" (pious and pure) politicians of Pakistan? The one's who are known to be inherently corrupt? For example Nawaz Sharif says he owns only 1.5 crore rupees in assets (maybe he forgot the 600 crore Raiwind estate he lives in is not his own?) while Zardari says he only owns 1.8 crore rupees (of course he also forgot he owns palaces in France, Dubai and God knows where else). And then there's the cherry on top of the cake, Hamza Shahbaz Sharif who says that he doesn't even own a Suzuki Mehran.

Let's take a moment to reflect on this. These gentlemen who claim that they have next to nothing travel in cars that cost around 6 - 7 crore each. They live in palaces that cost hundreds of crores. And they live a lifestyle that is simply not possible on the meager "incomes" that they declare. So my question is this, do you finger pointers not think before you open your mouths to make allegations?

This high handedness disgusts me

A child made a metro bus out of milk cartons& wanted to present it to #NawazSharif. Was happy when I got him thru2him twitter.com/MaryamNSharif/…
— Maryam Nawaz Sharif (@MaryamNSharif) February 10, 2013

Earlier today Maryam N. Sharif, daughter of Nawaz Sharif tweeted this pic. Find anything wrong with it? Abhorrent? Disgusting? Sickening? Maybe you see that the "common" person is not "equal" to Maryam N. Sharif and that's why he's sitting on the ground? Maybe you see that Maryam N. Sharif is so high and mighty that she would never actually talk to such a man if it weren't for the many cameras? Maybe you realize the sickening irony of how these leeches have sucked us dry while they role around in moolah? Maybe you find that while this was happening, 200 doctors were arrested who have been on a hunger strike for seven days now? Maybe you found how fake this whole scenario actually is?

I did. So I tweeted this back to her.

@maryamnsharif can you not see the things wrong with this picture? A poor man can never be equal to you, right? Shame on you. All of you.
— Hamza Malik (@hmz_89) February 10, 2013

She hasn't bothered replying yet.

The kid appears to be crying. He's sitting on the ground because of course, the mighty madame would consider it her insult to consider him her equal. Of course the common people of Punjab do not deserve to be treated as equals. When have they ever been? But such displays of bullshit make my blood boil. Why are they special and the rest common? Were they conceived by a gold statue? Lest we forget, this lady who pretends to be so humble, and angelic (getting a "common person" through to Nawaz Sharif is akin to a feat of heroic proportions) belongs to the same family who's other female member (daughter of Shahbaz Sharif) had the employee of a bakery beaten up because he told her the bakery was closed and the owner was not in. She sent her "official" thugs (policemen), had the poor sod thrashed and then had a case registered against him. When the media jumped on the bandwagon, Shahbaz Sharif instead of having his daughter arrested (which would have been the noble thing to do) ordered his son in law to appear before the police. Why he was ordered to do that, we shall never know.

The Metro Bus System will fail. And I will tell you why it will fail. It cost Rs 30 billion. It was supposed to be completed in 3 years, instead it was completed in less than 1. The problem with that is quality. They completed the ring road early as well, only to have a bridge fall on top of a truck. This is 8.3 km of elevated track. Quality assurances anyone?

It will also fail because people who use their cars will continue using them. They will not get up and get on the bus out of the blue. They tried this before. They launched the Lahore Transport Company (LTC) once. It failed. They tried to launch it again, this time with green buses which run on CNG. It failed again. In fact there were many instances of vandalism where students refused to pay the fare and thrashed conductors. Now they've launched this, a third time. You know what they say, third time's a charm.

But the biggest reason it will fail is this: The people were not educated enough to be able to use this properly. The people who use this service will be the "common" people. Who will break this like they broke all the other transit systems before. The rich will never use this because it is "beneath" them to travel with the "common" people. And since no one was educated about the benefits, this too shall be relegated to the annals of history.

Instead of launching this first, the Sharif government should have used that money to educate the population of Punjab. Inculcate in the children why Rapid Transit Systems are beneficial and why they need to be used. They could've used the money to set up power plants because now the provinces can do that on their own. But then they wouldn't have been able to show that off as readily as they can show off the red colored bendy buses now could they?

And here's the real irony (if the picture up there wasn't enough), Shahbaz Sharif, Nawaz Sharif, Maryam Nawaz Sharif or any of their family members will never use these buses to get from point A to point B. This was just for show. Show's now over. And they can just go back to living like kings and queens in their palaces, cut off from the rest of the world; the common world.

Did Imran Khan just own Lahore?

Imran Khan

I know a lot has been said, is being said, and will be said about Imran Khan's insanely large rally in Lahore yesterday. Did he woo the masses of their feet? Yes. Did he prove that a lot of people support him? Yes. Did he own Lahore? I think he might just have.

Imran Khan set out to prove a point, and he nailed it into every nailable thing out there. He ripped through the Sharifs' fortress and came out the other side victorious. He didn't say anything new, he didn't surprise anyone with new promises, but he delivered a powerful speech, one that might have sent shivers down his opponents spines. He also managed to shut his detractors (yours truly included) up and proved that his followers are not only from the educated urban middle class. They come from all strata of society.

But while all that is good and rosy, there are other points that need to be discussed. There are questions that need to be asked and answers that need to be heard. Imran Khan once again continued to lick the shiny armour of the army. He recounted an anecdote involving Hussain Haqqani, Pakistan's ambassador to the US, and Zardari in which both of them beg the Americans to save them from the Pakistani generals. Perhaps Imran Khan thinks licking the army's shiny suit would earn him the required number of points to qualify as the next prime minister of Pakistan?

He also talked about corruption and how Rs 3000 billion is lost every year in tax corruption. But once again, he failed to mention how he would eradicate this colossal negative enigma from Pakistan. He also talked about telling the Americans to talk to Pakistan on an equal footing. While these are noble sentiments, in the real world they hold no water. The US acts as our benefactor, hence we dare not say anything offensive to it. Unless the shackles of benefaction can be broken, I'm afraid Imran Khan was simply indulging in yesterday's rhetoric.

Imran Khan also spoke of ending the military operations in the tribal belts. I really want to ask him whether he's become insane? OK so he says the military fights the local Pakistani population in the tribal belt. My question is what of the many thousands of Uzbek, Chechen and Arab militants residing in those places? Who is going to fight them? Or are they "our people" too? Or does Imran Khan believe they do not exist and they are simply a figment of the imagination of a few people?

Imran Khan said the tribal elders have assured him that if the army stops taking action in the tribal belt, the terrorism will automatically go away. Of  course it will. By not fighting the cancer spurting out of the tribal belts, the Pakistan army will become complicit in letting it spread.

Is Imran Khan a very charismatic man with a lot of fan following? Yes he is. But he talks nonsense at times particularly with regards to the foreign and interior policy. While his solutions to the energy crisis are admirable and in fact extremely workable, his solutions to steering the country out of the mess it finds itself in are based on populist whims and rhetoric.

I want to like Imran Khan. But he never gives me any reason to even bother. Rather, he takes all of the reasons that might make me like him and shoots them in the head. And that makes me wonder, who am I going to vote for in 2013 when I've ruled Imran Khan out?

Imran Khan or Nawaz Sharif?

Nawaz Sharif (L) and Imran Khan (R)

The million dollar question everybody has been harping about for the past week or so. Who is the king of Lahore? Is it Nawaz Sharif, who has traditionally held the throne? Or is it Imran Khan, who has dethroned the former king to wear the crown himself?

Now if you're a regular reader of this blog, you would know I am not exactly a fan of Imran Khan. All the reasons for my not being his fan can be found by clicking here. But this right now is an entirely different debate. Who would you choose between Imran Khan and Nawaz Sharif?

See the problem is once again in this populist political quagmire (or thriller depending upon your preference) we are stuck in choosing one individual over another individual. But that is another blog, for another time. So is Imran Khan better than Nawaz Sharif? Or is Nawaz Sharif better than Imran Khan? It's hard to say given the scale of confrontation and the statements that emanate from both of them. They both hate Zardari. They both want midterm elections. They both claim they can rid the country of evil and produce good Samaritans. But there's one fundamental difference between the two, which to the cool thinking and rational mind blows up the difference between the two as if one was day and the other was night.

Imran Khan wants a confrontational approach vis-a-vis the US, NATO and Afghanistan. Nawaz Sharif on the other hand wants to play it cool and let things take their natural course. One of the prerequisites of this approach is not pissing off the Americans. Another glaring difference between the two politician's approaches is that while Imran Khan keeps licking the army's shiny armour, Nawaz Sharif is trying to keep them at an arm's length by calling for judicial inquiries against the generals responsible for the May 2nd debacle.

But that is where the differences end. So what do the masses think? Imran Khan has by and large crafted a huge fan following amongst the educated middle class and the youth. But that support has been the most vocal and active in Lahore. What about other parts of Punjab? What do people think about Imran Khan in for example, Vehari? Or Bhalwal? Or Mian Channu? The vast majority of Punjabis resides in rural areas and rural populace is the one and only factor that can make or break any party in an election.

So can Imran Khan pull it off? He might. Or he might not. The problem like I mentioned before is that we're talking about individuals. In the case of Imran Khan, he really is just one individual. It is only today that I found out that there is a person called Rauf Hassan who is in Imran Khan's party as well. But what about the other hidden gems of talent in Imran Khan's Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf? Or are we to assume that there are no other? On the other hand there are several people who I can name from Nawaz Sharif's party, albeit they all disgust me.

The worst case scenario for Imran Khan will still be a win for him. He will win 5 - 6 seats in the provincial assembly and will be the head of a vocal opposition. That's more than he's ever had. And the best case scenario will be a complete rout of Nawaz Sharif's PML. Either way he will have to make alliances with people who he keeps denouncing. Nawaz Sharif, if he can still maintain his unbeaten streak will most probably not need the help of allies to keep him standing on his two feet. But of course only time will tell exactly what happens.

In the meanwhile, the two upcoming rallies by the PML-N (which takes place tomorrow, Friday, 28th October, 2011) and Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf (which takes place on Sunday, 30th October, 2011) will be a sort of litmus test of who stands where in this sprawling metropolis.

As for me? Well in my perfect world Imran Khan's idealistic rhetoric and populist politics would work seamlessly without any repercussions of any sort, and I would gladly vote for him in that case. But in the real world, I feel Nawaz Sharif has got the grasp on reality much better than Imran Khan has ever had even though the Sharifs are like fat cobras standing guard around a pile of gold (read Punjab).

I'll wait till after their rallies to decide who's side I fall on. It's going to be interesting.

Trying desperately to save face

Last night all the top politicians of Pakistan got together to chalk out a united strategy in the face of extreme pressure from the United States. Much as I would like to tell these same politicians what's really on my mind, I do believe they deserve tremendous applause for being man enough to tell the world that there is still some semblance of sanity that exists within Pakistan and its political ranks.

The joint resolution that was presented at the end of the 9 hour meeting says what we've always been hearing: that Pakistan is a peace loving country and that it will always keep its interests supreme. We already know from the last 60 odd years that that's not true. We also know that we're absolutely unsure about what Pakistan's interests are and who decides them. Supposedly, supporting the Haqqani network of the Taliban in Afghanistan is one of the interests of Pakistan. Like I questioned in my blog yesterday, to what end?

The resolution also failed to distance Pakistan from its image of always helping the wrong side and of double dealing. You see while the Pakistani government may feed us all lies about how our establishment is so sweet and nobody loves it, the world has become quite sick of our shenanigans. The Pakistani nation is identified in vile terms and its image is scorned upon. Did the resolution address any of these critical exclamation marks? Afraid not.

So what did the joint resolution of the APC achieve then? Well the answer to that will be nothing really. General Pasha and General Kayani simply denied all allegations of wrong doing. Even with Nawaz Sharif's rather testy remark that wherever there is smoke there is fire, the military men refused to concede that they are responsible for maintaining links with the Haqqani network. Ironically the resolution fails to say that Pakistan does not, will not and has not maintained any links with the Haqqani network. Does that amount to admission of guilt? You're free to draw your own conclusions.

While the world continues to move on berating Pakistan for its duplicity we vehemently and strictly refuse to acknowledge our shortcomings. We refuse to accept our mistakes and we refuse to correct them. We live in denial. We like it. Unfortunately the world doesn't like it and hence it has run out of patience with Pakistan. Mike Mullen was just one man who made one allegation. Very soon (if we keep our charades) a whole corps will be out there doing the same.

10 questions that need to be answered at the All Parties Conference

As you all might know an All Parties Conference (APC) is currently under way in Islamabad to chalk out a united response from the country's political leadership to the threats and accusations made by Admiral Mike Mullen in which he accused the Taliban's Haqqani network as being a veritable arm of the ISI. Almost 58 politicians belonging to all the major political parties are attending this conference including Nawaz Sharif, Imran Khan and Chaudry Shujaat Ali. The important question is whether this conference will actually achieve anything substantial?

We of course need a united stance on the American accusations and allegations which are by their nature very extreme. To help the politicians achieve that, General Ashfaq Kayani (COAS) and General Ahmed Shuja Pasha (DG ISI) will be presenting themselves before the politicians and answering the various questions that they might have.

Some of the questions that I have and which I would really like to be answered are as follows:

1. Does Pakistan actually have any "veritable" links to the Haqqani network?
2. Does the Pakistani military support a "strategic depth" doctrine in Afghanistan?
3. If yes, then what exactly does the Pakistani military intend to achieve with that strategic depth in Afghanistan?
4. Does the ISI share strategic intel with the US intel agencies?
5. Does the Pakistani military have compulsive, incriminating evidence against CIA/US double dealing in Afghanistan and Pakistan?
6. Does the Pakistani intelligence apparatus have compulsive, incriminating evidence against Indian involvement in Pakistan's tribal areas and Balochistan?
7. Does the Pakistani military believe that it can defend the country in the event of a ground invasion by the US forces?
8. Why did the Pakistani military allow a known CIA operative who is also a murderer (Raymond Davis) go scot free?
9. Has the Pakistani military officially sanctioned the lease of Shamsi airbase to the UAE and further on to the USA?
10. How can General Kayani and General Pasha convince the Pakistani nation that after the OBL fiasco (being discovered in the heart of the Pakistani military) a repeat of that episode will not take place?

These are just some of the many questions that I would like to be answered. Because they form the bedrock of the many confusions plaguing our nation regarding the intentions of our armed forces.

Imran Khan you sneaky man

Every time I've said Imran Khan's not really what a politician should be, his supporters have bashed me quite hard. The last time I wrote about Imran Khan some of his stooges went so far as to degrade me and tell me I didn't know the first thing about him. They criticised me for failing to appreciate his magnanimity, awesomeness and brilliance. They told me he built Namal Model College. They also said that Khan was a fortuitous and upright man who valued his principles more than he valued power, fame and money. But they were all wrong. So very wrong.

Imran Khan: The man who changes colour like a chameleon

You see I had been advocating that Khan put his emotions aside when he's politicking. His followers told me he would never do that because that is what real politics is all about. Well if that indeed is the case, isn't Imran Khan the world's biggest hypocrite then? Well not the biggest because we have the likes of Rehman Malik, Asif Zardari, Nawaz Sharif, Yusuf Gilani who take the cake from Khan but you get the point. What in God's name was Imran Khan thinking when he decided to shun his perpetual hate of Altaf Hussain and called him and decided to let the world know that he appreciated Altaf "Bhai's" stand against the government and America?

If memory serves me correctly, and it does on this occasion, Imran Khan filed a case against Altaf Hussain in Pakistan. The court rejected the petition because Altaf Hussain is a British citizen. Imran Khan then wanted to go to Karachi to hold a rally against Altaf "Bhai" in Altaf Hussain's own home town. Some said it was a dangerous move. Others said it was stupid. But whatever it was, we never really found out because as it so happened the MQM banned Khan from entering the city.

Khan also went onto Geo TV's show Capital Talk hosted by another hypocrite (Hamid Mir) and left seething with rage when Babar Ghauri taunted him repeatedly for allegedly fathering an illegitimate child. That's when Imran Khan decided enough is enough: He would go to the UK and file a murder case against Altaf Hussain and file an extradition request with the British authorities. We never got to hear what became of that case.

Khan repeatedly claimed Altaf Hussain was responsible for the murders of more than 235 people and yet, he had no qualms about rubbing shoulders with him and shaking hands (figuratively for those of you who will point out and complain Khan and Hussain never met!) when it came to serve his agenda. Khan hates the Americans. And apparently, now so does Altaf Hussain. What better opportunity could there be than ride on the back of the urban party from Karachi which somehow always manages to gets its way? The lives of 235 people did not become a hurdle, nor did they prick Khan's conscience.

His fan followers also claim torrents about his honesty. Apparently he hasn't been honest with them either. But I suppose a person who claims that he will make sure Altaf Hussain ends up in jail and then clamours to support his agenda when it suits his own isn't what one would call honest in the first place.

The irony of this whole affair is that Imran Khan has finally managed to use his brain. Siding up with Altaf Hussain is nothing short of genius. But his supporters, well that's a different story altogether now. If they claim that what Khan did by siding with Altaf Hussain is correct and right, then they'll be the biggest two-timers on the face of the planet earth.

It is sad that Imran Khan had to ditch his honesty drama and principles façade; but maybe this is the only way he will be able to make an impact on the destiny of this sad nation. My only hope is that Imran Khan's wavering ways don't become a permanent feature of his politics.

President Zardari, please shut up

Asif Ali Zardari the self imposed ruler (read President) of Pakistan gave a joint address to both houses of the National Assembly today. With no one being tired of the political drama that continues to play havoc with millions of lives in Pakistan, it was no surprise then that the opposition parties decided to boycott the session. But I'll get to the lowlifes who constitute our opposition later. First, let me state my views on Mr Zardari's speech.

The shameless Zardari lying and telling half truths in
front of his wife's portrait.

Zardari claimed that when he and his stooges inherited the country, it was almost dead economically. I'm sorry, but wasn't bread selling for Rs 2 back then and what is it now? Oh yeah, Rs 6. He also claims record investment was made in the country (Mr President, your Swiss accounts and Pakistan are separate entities so please try to remember that when you're talking about money, money, money?). If "record investment" was indeed made in the country, then pray tell where is the result of all that? Exactly. He also claimed that education sector was given more funds. Now he has to be literally stupid in the brain to claim that. Why else would he say that? Pakistan is in an education emergency. The sooner these two timing scumbags realize that the better it will be for everyone. But of course some institutions and their masters are more important than others in this country.

He also portrayed the fact that thousands of contract employees were given permanent jobs. Now I know the only economics and finance his highness, the Black Lord of Gypsies, knows is restricted to the banking structures in Switzerland but even then, we assumed he had that bit of common sense left in him that ought to have told him that you don't legalize 20 people's jobs in a place where only 1 is needed. But like always, we were proved wrong. He also tried to get credit for the increase in daily wages of the common man. He sounds farcical does he not? But never mind. Let me put his out of context stated facts into some context. The minimum wage of Pakistan is Rs 7000. The inflation rate of Pakistan is somewhere around 20% realistically even though the government cooks up numbers and claims that is around 15.5%. It isn't. But even if this government claim was to be believed, imagine the devaluation and decrease in purchasing power that those people earning Rs 7000 a month are facing. In totality, their purchasing power is decreasing. The Rs 7000 of today are not even equal to Rs 4000 of 2008 when the incumbent came into power.

Zardari also paid tribute to Salman Taseer and Shahbaz Bhatti. He also claimed their deaths will not be in vain. Strange. Their deaths have already been in vain. The little ragtag group of utter imbeciles collectively known as the PPP made sure of that. They could not muster enough balls to prosecute the murderer of Salman Taseer. Rehman Malik, that bloody SoB claimed that Shahbaz Bhatti himself is responsible for his death. You see sane people like me can live with this jackassery; what we cannot live with is the fact that the the motives behind these murders weren't and will never be addressed. And let's face it. The PPP doesn't have the balls to confront the problems facing this country head on. Maybe they're scared they'll wet their diaper but either way, they're taking us down. They still haven't apprehended the killers of Benazir Bhutto and pragmatically speaking, they never will.

Which leads me on to the part of the speech by Asif Zardari where he stated that the killers of Benazir Bhutto will be brought to justice. My un-dear President, it is not the killers of Benazir Bhutto who deserve justice, it is your slain wife who's name you have exploited so dastardly who deserves justice. Zardari also claimed that:

Democracy is the best revenge…we condemn the murders of Salmaan Taseer and Shahbaz Bhatti. We will defeat the mindset that preaches violence and hatred. Being strong means denouncing what is wrong. 

No Mr Zardari. You are wrong. The definition of being strong changed the day you came into power; the day you ceded control to the generals; the day you effectively put the army in charge of this country. Being strong now means a) being a General in Pakistan or b) righting what is wrong at all costs.

I could go on but I've had enough of Zardari for a lifetime. He sucks. His lackeys and stooges suck. Bloody hypocritical animals. Donkeys have more sense than these senseless blood and money sucking leeches in charge of us. And as for the PML-N, PML-Q (Lota group), JUI and Jamaat-e-Islami, what can one say? They're as bad as Zardari. So all the words that I've said here against Zardari, they all apply equally (and in some cases, more) to the Nawabs of Punjab (Sharif brothers), the Lotas of the Punjab Assembly, Fazlur Rehman (who is a slur on the word Maulana) and the crazies of the Jamaat-e-Islami.

These are the people who are involved in point scoring at the cost of Pakistan. What purpose did their boycott serve except for boosting their own inflated giant ass egos? If they hate Zardari so much, why don't they bring a no-confidence motion against his hand picked Prime Minister and government? Why do these douchebags attend lavish dinners thrown at the Presidency? Why do they pretend to hate Zardari when he has in effect given them the rights to loot, plunder and engage in high corruption? They're all hypocrites. They don't love Pakistan. They love themselves and "our" money.

I've had enough. Later.

When the saviours become the nation's sellers

PM Gilani and his lackey Gen. Pasha. Or maybe it's the
other way round?

A few days ago I wrote a blog post about how the cost of two Pakistani lives was $2.3 million. I was wrong. That's the cost of the entire Pakistani nation.

Now you may begrudge for saying that but it is true. The back door deals that led to the release of Raymond Davis were managed by the ISI and the Pakistan army. Just one day after Davis' release, the Americans pound a local jirga and kill 41 people. That leads to the first public display of anger by the army chief over the whole sovereignty violations that occur with impunity from across the border. Maybe he wanted to give the impression he still cares about this country and its people after selling them off for $2.3 million?

But the really ironic part is this: The US government did not pay a dime for the release of Raymond Davis. Because we lesser mortals aren't privy to the internal workings of the government or the army, the most we can rely on is the news that is published in the Pakistani media. And according to that very media the Saudis paid off the families of the victims. Not Raymond Davis. And not the US government.

When Hillary Clinton was asked who paid the blood money for Davis' release, she had no idea. But apparently the Pakistani government is now supposed to pay the Saudis back for their "generosity". The Punjab government run by the Nawabs of Punjab (Sharif brothers) put up a hell of a show portraying themselves as anti Americans; they went so far as to claim that they would never let Raymond Davis go. But in the end it was Nawaz Sharif himself who did the Americans' bidding and got Raymond Davis off the hook. His prosecutor general failed to get Davis convicted; and we all know how the Sharifs love to rub their backs with the army generals.

Maybe that is the reason why General Pasha's extension notification wasn't issued immediately. He got chummy with the CIA, he solved his agency's problems with the Americans and voila, Saudis end up paying the blood money, the ISI rocks on, the CIA resumes droning over Pakistan and the Pakistani nation ends up being sold.

People often ask me why I'm so anti army. Fact of the matter is that I'm not anti army. I just have a lot issues with the scumbags who are in control of the army and consequently who are in effective control of the country. The politicians are just a front to legalize their notorious activities. For example, who does the army think it is when it declares it monitors other departments' budgets? They take a huge chunk out of the revenue that this country generates painstakingly. They don't have the guts to shoot down drones yet they clamour as if hell has frozen over when they kill people. They can't stop terrorists from striking every two days. I wonder where they spent the Rs 620 billion that they took last year?

We will never know why the heirs of the victims suddenly accepted the blood money. They just vanished. If news reports are to be believed they have been secretly flown to Dubai. And if they are to be believed further than the ISI and the Punjab government executed the deal. Where is the promised revolution people? Where have all those zealots disappeared who proclaimed they will take to the streets if justice is not done?

Like I said once before, there is nothing that can be done and no one who cares. We were sold but so what? After all, we are America's very own private whore, are we not?

Price of two Pakistani lives? $2.3 million

Raymond Davis: The killer who walked. 

So what was expected finally happened. Raymond Davis, the man who killed two Pakistanis, walked. Should I be surprised? Should I be angry? Should I sigh? Should I even care?

All along we knew in our hearts (even though we pretended otherwise) that the killer of two Pakistanis will walk because he was an American. Why did we pretend that the government won't let go? That they will care about what the Pakistani nation thinks? It was because there was a faint glimmer of hope in our hearts that made us think that maybe, just maybe, the rulers will finally listen to the ruled; that they will finally stand up to those who dictate our destiny.

But in the words of a friend "...servants have the right to react...paid whores don't." And he is right isn't he? The price of two pakistani lives came down to a mere $2.3 million. Apparently those people who claim money can't buy everything live under a rock. As it so happens everything in the world has a price. Everything and everyone can be bought.

There is such a massive disconnect between our rulers and the masses. Just listen to what Angelina Jolie had to say when she visited Pakistan in the aftermath of the floods; that there are people and children who don't have a pair of shoes to wear in the heat while the government throws around lavish feasts and showers her with gifts.

The foreign policy, the interior policy, the fiscal policy is all mismanaged. But not only that, the managers in charge of the running of this country aren't qualified or capable enough to do so. The Rs 2 billion that this government prints everyday is only because it doesn't want to cut down on its expenses or its lavishness. It is too easy to print money and pay off their expenses. Meanwhile the common man is buried deeper and deeper under inflation.

Everyday someone hangs himself, someone commits suicide; someone poisons his kids and someone sets himself on fire; but its all in vain because as the poll on your right will indicate, a revolution won't come to Pakistan. The anti-climax after Raymond Davis' freedom proves that. The wife of Faizan committed suicide in vain; this government couldn't respect her wishes.

Am I a proud Pakistani today? Am I a better Pakistani today because we let Raymond Davis go free? No. I'm not proud and I'm not better. There isn't anything to be proud of. Today, by allowing Raymond Davis go free, the army, the judiciary and the government told us something. We're not America's servants anymore. We're its very own private whore.