October 25, 2011

Die you useless bunch of nincompoops, die!

So on the morning of 11th October 2011, I went to the NADRA Registration Office located at Shami Road - II, Lahore to get my National Identity Card (NIC) altered. I had to get my address changed so that I could get my passport made from Lahore, and also so that I could register myself as a voter for the next elections, whenever they may be. Why couldn't I get my passport made, or register as a voter from Lahore without having a Lahori house address (when I am willing to provide proof that I live in Lahore in the form of electricity bills, gas bills, physical address verification blah blah) is anybody's guess. Red tape and bullshit with nonsensical rules are the hallmarks of Pakistan. So don't even ask.

I have to get a passport made so that I can appear for my GRE exam which is scheduled for the middle of next month. But now, apparently, I will have to get it postponed and pay many more dollars. As if dollars grow on trees in my house.

I paid Rs 1000 so that I could get the NIC made urgently. The urgent application says the ID card will be delivered in 5 working days and you can collect it from NADRA's office. I didn't go after 5 days. I went after 13 days. 13. You might imagine then that even with the bullshit that broils and transverses the halls of NADRA's Shami Road Registration Office, that they would have gotten my card ready. But they haven't. And I'm not even sure they will till the middle of next month.

I waited patiently in line for 2 hours. Yes. There are no waiting facilities. There are no toilets, or water or sitting facilities provided. Senior citizens stand in line just like women and children. There are no fans or benches. And there is utter and complete mismanagement when it comes to delivering the cards that have been made. Of course the majority of the people don't get their cards because "they haven't been made yet". I have always thought that it was the uneducated masses who make a mess and who don't know how to make lines. I was wrong. It is the people on the other side of the counter who are so useless, and unbelievably worthless pieces of shit that they mess up people's brains completely.

So what happened when I got to the start of the line? I was told to "come back after 6 or 7 days" because my card hadn't been made. I asked them why it hadn't been made when I've already come after the passage of a week after the due date to which the person at the counter had no reply. I further asked him what's the point of paying a 1000 rupees when eventually I wouldn't be getting an urgent card at all? Again he had no answers.

But the cherry on top of the cake? When I got home I called NADRA helpline from where you can get to know the status of your NIC. So I called and I asked the man on the other end of the line, "When will my card be delivered to NADRA's office in Lahore?" He shocked me completely when he said, "We have no record of your application at all. It appears that the office from where you've tried to get your card made hasn't forwarded your application to us."

Haven't forwarded my application?! WHAT THE F****?!

So yes. Die you miserable nincompoops, DIE!