July 24, 2010

Bakra Khan and Ferrari

Bakra Khan and Bushra Khanum while going for grocery shopping get stuck in a traffic jam due to VIP movement.

Bakra Khan (supremely excited): Oh look!!!! A Ferrari!!!!! My GOD!! IT’S A FERRARI!!

Bushra Khanum: Calm down Bakray, it’s just a car.

Bakra Khan (murder in his eyes): Just a WHAT?!? You are an INFIDEL! You have committed blasphemy! You apostate aurat!

Bushra Khanum (exasperated): How is calling Ferrari a car, blasphemy?

Bakra Khan: I cannot believe this! My own wife is a kaafir!

Bushra Khanum: You’re not answering my question.

Bakra Khan (annoyed): Fine! After Allah, there is Muhammad (SAW). After Muhammad, there is my Imam. And after my Imam, there is Ferrari. The most sacred pieces of metal known to mankind.

Bushra Khanum (confused): But I thought you liked Porsche?

Bakra Khan: SO? Does that mean I should stop considering Ferraris holy?

Bushra Khanum: Well they are made by the Italians… And they’re Romans, and don’t you just hate the Christians?

Bakra Khan (matter-of-factly): They want you to think they’re Christians. No Kaafir can ever be so qaabil as to build such a thing as Ferrari. It is a truly remarkable creation, designed by God, made by man.

Bushra Khanum: Hey that could be a nice tagline. But seriously Bakray, what is wrong with you?

Bakra Khan: Wrong with me?! You want proof?!

Bushra Khanum: Yes, yes give me proof.

Bakra Khan: Fine then. Leonardo Da Vinci was the inventor of Ferrari.

Bushra Khanum (sheer exasperation): Leonardo Da – what?! Have you completely lost it?

Bakra Khan: Let me finish you stupid woman. Do not interrupt your man while he speaks. Have you not studied Islamiat in class 5?

Bushra Khanum: Oh I studied Islamiat. But it didn’t say that you couldn’t stop stupid morons while they’re yapping on aimlessly.

Bakra Khan: Anyway, Leonardo Da Vinci was a Muslim.

Bushra Khanum: How?

Bakra Khan: He had a three foot long beard! The true distinction of a blessed Muslim!

Bushra Khanum: Seriously, this is getting ridiculous!

Bakra Khan: I haven’t finished.

Bushra Khanum: Right. Why am I not surprised.

Bakra Khan: As we have already established that no kaafir maa ki aulad can ever be gifted or naturally aspirated to produce the holy car Ferrari, it naturally follows, by the logic given to me by Allah, and by the supplication of my Imam, that Ferrari was designed by Leornado Da Vinci. The great Muslim inventor.

Bushra Khanum: Yay…?

Bakra Khan: Yes yay. I am proud of my Muslim brothers in Fiorano, Italy. Oh look! A Mercedes S-Class!

Bushra Khanum: And no doubt this is Muslim too?

Bakra Khan (proudly): Of course yes! God gave Hitler the money and genius to produce the remarkable Mercedes and so he did. It has Muslim bouncing off it from every angle that I look!

Bushra Khanum: Maybe you’re looking at it through your ass?

Bakra Khan: Oh shut up.

Bushra Khanum: So what about the Adam Revo designed and made by Pakistanis?

Bakra Khan: Sigh. Have you still not learnt anything? By the power of logic vested in me by Allah, it is my duty to help poor confused lambs such as you, onto the right path. Muslims make Ferrari and Mercedes. Adam Revo 800 is a Qadiani-Yahoodi invention. They are illiterate and stupid and they copied the Suzuki FX and converted it into Adam Revo. And now they’re selling it to us Muslims so that instead of driving around in exuberant luxury, we bounce around and rattle in their stupid Adam Revo.

Bushra Khanum: Who makes BMW?

Bakra Khan: We have outsourced it to the apostates. Muslims are kind and considerate. We had to give the apostates some work or they would’ve committed genocide amongst themselves out of hunger and exasperation and envy.

Bushra Khanum: Or maybe you just don’t like BMW?

Bakra Khan: That is true as well. Oh look. The idiotic Americans and Jews loving fool claiming to be our ruler has passed. Bloody apostate. According to my Imam he has exited the circle of Islam.

Bushra Khanum: He was in a Mercedes.

Bakra Khan: Well we never said the apostates can’t show off in Islam’s flagship brilliance.

The End.