Bakra Khan and Zaid Hamid

Bakra Khan is invited to a show hosted by Zaid Hamid after he proclaimed Geo was a TV run by the Freemasons publically.

ZH: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, let us present to you the new male model of Islamic masculinity! I give you Bakra Khan!

*Crowd Cheers*

Bakra Khan: Please don’t… I am camera shy…

ZH: Fear not my friend. The camera loves you. Now tell us what the Zionists of Geo did to you.

Bakra Khan: Isn’t watching TV forbidden in Islam?

ZH: What nonsense. Who told you that?

Bakra Khan: My Imam…?

ZH: Obviously your Imam is a Mossad agent planted in your mosque to misguide you and keep an eye on you. Ever since you have declared Geo a Freemason TV, we have received 137,869 confirmed death threats against you from our sources in the Indian intelligence via SMS’s that they send us. They are truly mad at you for exposing their true face to the world! All hail the top contender for Caliphate, Bakra Khan!!!

*Crowd whistles and claps*

Bakra Khan (tentatively): Thanks…?

ZH: Oh come on! Lighten up! You’re on TV! You’re a star! See that hot chick wearing sleeveless in the audience? She would like to go home with you tonight for what you have done. *wink*

Bakra Khan: Na Aoozoobillah! What freaking nonsense is this? Have you no shame or morality left in you?!

ZH: Whoa chillax dude. It is our duty to inform you, that via special decoding devices that we have apprehended from the Zionists, we have intercepted transmission that God has decided that you will be rewarded tonight. And that woman on the back seat is in fact a fairy from the heavens! Let’s hear it one more time for the next Caliph of the Muslim world!!!

*Crowd hoots*

Bakra Khan (relieved, excited, flushed and rearing to go): Alright! But what about my wife?

ZH: She can join you and the fairy. Since the fairy is a fairy and your wife is actually your wife!

Bakra Khan: Ok, thanks!

ZH: You’re welcome! Now, what are your views about this conspiracy that the Jews have hatched to remove the gold standard?

Bakra Khan (confused): Wasn’t it the Jews who introduced the gold standard in the first place?

ZH (Bewildered): My God! Ladies and Gentlemen, we were not aware of this, but thanks to the true Muslim and patriot Bakra Khan, we have been exposed to this double game of the Jews! They are faking the gold standard to let Hindu Zionists attack us!!!

*Death to India! Death to America! Death to Israel!*

ZH: Please! Do not say death to India! If India is dead, how will Pakistan Radio issue its broadcast from Delhi? Please think before you speak.

Bakra Khan: How are the Hindu Zionists going to attack us?

ZH: They will use Hindus to stage attacks and then blame those attacks on us. And then they will try to conquer us! But by the Grace of Allah, and the mighty warriors in this auditorium – hey babe, you wanna go for dinner tonight? *wink*

Bakra Khan: Zaid Sir, people are watching…

ZH: Oh! Of course! The Indians will not succeed because we are Madina-e-Sani!

*Crowd goes mad*

ZH: Let it be known, that our sources inside Indian intelligence have told me, once again through SMS, what exactly the Hindu Zionist plotters will be wearing when they carry out fake attacks!

*Crowd chants Tell us! Tell us!*

ZH: Umm… No! We cannot tell you right now! We will tell you after we watch the video footage of the attack when it is carried out!

(As an afterthought)

It is for your security that I cannot tell you!

*Crowd gets more boisterous and loud*

ZH: Without further ado, let me ask Ali Azmat to come on stage and perform a concert for us now!

Bakra Khan: But isn’t music forbidden in Islam?

ZH: Of course not, why would you say anything like that?

Bakra Khan: Because my Imam said it is. And don’t you want Shariat in Pakistan? Shariat states that music is forbidden in Islam.

ZH: Nonsense Bakray, you are being paranoid. Music is allowed. So is dating. Don’t you see all these kids here? They’re all here on dates. But while on a date, they get to listen to good Islamic stuff. See?

Bakra Khan (totally lost): I’m confused!

ZH (kindly): Worry not. Once you listen to Ali Azmat, you will feel better!

*Crowd chanting Ali Azmat! Ali Azmat!*

­PAPPU YAR, TUNG NA KAR!!!

ZH (after the concert): Now Mr. Bakray, did you know that Sikhs have joined forces with Muslims in Pakistan?

Bakra Khan: I beg your pardon. How?

ZH: It is our great honor to announce through this platform, that the Sikhs of Pakistan are in fact, MUSLIMS!!!

*Crowd blows the noise through the roof*

Bakra Khan: There are some people standing at the back door!

ZH: Oh blimey! We are sorry to inform you that this event is cancelled! You can watch the rest of this show on Youtube! I will shoot a video of myself and upload it on Youtube! Cheerios Amigos!

Bakra Khan: But where are you going?!

ZH (running off the stage): Listen Bakray, you are bloody naïve. Those guys you see there are after me because I supported Yusuf Kazzab.

Bakra Khan: The impostor Prophet?!

ZH (at the main entrance of the auditorium): Yes. NO! I mean, look later ok? We have to run out of here now! Very nice meeting you, later!

*Bakra Khan returns home utterly confused and bewildered. Even the fairy didn’t go home with him. She went home with her boyfriend instead.*

Bakra Khan and Ferrari

Bakra Khan and Bushra Khanum while going for grocery shopping get stuck in a traffic jam due to VIP movement.

Bakra Khan (supremely excited): Oh look!!!! A Ferrari!!!!! My GOD!! IT’S A FERRARI!!

Bushra Khanum: Calm down Bakray, it’s just a car.

Bakra Khan (murder in his eyes): Just a WHAT?!? You are an INFIDEL! You have committed blasphemy! You apostate aurat!

Bushra Khanum (exasperated): How is calling Ferrari a car, blasphemy?

Bakra Khan: I cannot believe this! My own wife is a kaafir!

Bushra Khanum: You’re not answering my question.

Bakra Khan (annoyed): Fine! After Allah, there is Muhammad (SAW). After Muhammad, there is my Imam. And after my Imam, there is Ferrari. The most sacred pieces of metal known to mankind.

Bushra Khanum (confused): But I thought you liked Porsche?

Bakra Khan: SO? Does that mean I should stop considering Ferraris holy?

Bushra Khanum: Well they are made by the Italians… And they’re Romans, and don’t you just hate the Christians?

Bakra Khan (matter-of-factly): They want you to think they’re Christians. No Kaafir can ever be so qaabil as to build such a thing as Ferrari. It is a truly remarkable creation, designed by God, made by man.

Bushra Khanum: Hey that could be a nice tagline. But seriously Bakray, what is wrong with you?

Bakra Khan: Wrong with me?! You want proof?!

Bushra Khanum: Yes, yes give me proof.

Bakra Khan: Fine then. Leonardo Da Vinci was the inventor of Ferrari.

Bushra Khanum (sheer exasperation): Leonardo Da – what?! Have you completely lost it?

Bakra Khan: Let me finish you stupid woman. Do not interrupt your man while he speaks. Have you not studied Islamiat in class 5?

Bushra Khanum: Oh I studied Islamiat. But it didn’t say that you couldn’t stop stupid morons while they’re yapping on aimlessly.

Bakra Khan: Anyway, Leonardo Da Vinci was a Muslim.

Bushra Khanum: How?

Bakra Khan: He had a three foot long beard! The true distinction of a blessed Muslim!

Bushra Khanum: Seriously, this is getting ridiculous!

Bakra Khan: I haven’t finished.

Bushra Khanum: Right. Why am I not surprised.

Bakra Khan: As we have already established that no kaafir maa ki aulad can ever be gifted or naturally aspirated to produce the holy car Ferrari, it naturally follows, by the logic given to me by Allah, and by the supplication of my Imam, that Ferrari was designed by Leornado Da Vinci. The great Muslim inventor.

Bushra Khanum: Yay…?

Bakra Khan: Yes yay. I am proud of my Muslim brothers in Fiorano, Italy. Oh look! A Mercedes S-Class!

Bushra Khanum: And no doubt this is Muslim too?

Bakra Khan (proudly): Of course yes! God gave Hitler the money and genius to produce the remarkable Mercedes and so he did. It has Muslim bouncing off it from every angle that I look!

Bushra Khanum: Maybe you’re looking at it through your ass?

Bakra Khan: Oh shut up.

Bushra Khanum: So what about the Adam Revo designed and made by Pakistanis?

Bakra Khan: Sigh. Have you still not learnt anything? By the power of logic vested in me by Allah, it is my duty to help poor confused lambs such as you, onto the right path. Muslims make Ferrari and Mercedes. Adam Revo 800 is a Qadiani-Yahoodi invention. They are illiterate and stupid and they copied the Suzuki FX and converted it into Adam Revo. And now they’re selling it to us Muslims so that instead of driving around in exuberant luxury, we bounce around and rattle in their stupid Adam Revo.

Bushra Khanum: Who makes BMW?

Bakra Khan: We have outsourced it to the apostates. Muslims are kind and considerate. We had to give the apostates some work or they would’ve committed genocide amongst themselves out of hunger and exasperation and envy.

Bushra Khanum: Or maybe you just don’t like BMW?

Bakra Khan: That is true as well. Oh look. The idiotic Americans and Jews loving fool claiming to be our ruler has passed. Bloody apostate. According to my Imam he has exited the circle of Islam.

Bushra Khanum: He was in a Mercedes.

Bakra Khan: Well we never said the apostates can’t show off in Islam’s flagship brilliance.

The End.

Bakra Khan: Football World Cup 2010

Malik: Sup man. Whoa!

Bakra Khan: Walekum-hello to you too.

Malik: What the hell happened to you?

Bakra Khan: Hell is a place for sinners. I am not a sinner.

Malik: Yes, i'm sure you're not. So what's this then...?

Bakra Khan: What's what?

Malik: How come you're wearing shorts and Argentina's football jersey?

Bakra Khan: Because i'm supporting Argentina?

Malik: I thought you were supporting Brazil.

Bakra Khan: No, no. You see i never support losers.

Malik: Hmm. Anyway, I'm supporting Germany. Let's see what happens.

Bakra Khan: It's on bitch!

Malik: What happened to your sermon of Muslims are never competitive and they never use bad words?

Bakra Khan: My Imam says i can use bad words when i'm excited. Or when i feel like saying them.

Malik: Bloody cool Imam you have man.

Bakra Khan: Hey! Nobody curses my Imam!

Malik: Chillout man, was just saying. Oh my, how was prison?

Bakra Khan: Like heaven.

Malik: I beg your pardon?

Bakra Khan: It was a preview of heaven. Allah gave me a preview of what heaven'll be like for me.

Malik: How?

Bakra Khan: There was a fairy there waiting for me. Bashiran Mai. Oh Allah Mian, how i can't wait to come up and party all night looong!

Malik: Wow dude... Don't let Bushra Khanum hear you say that!

Bakra Khan: Oh yeah, speaking of which... Khanum Januuuuummmmmmmm! Where are my nachos??!!

Malik: Wow Bakray, how come you're so interested in eating infidel food?

Bakra Khan: Nachos is not infidel food. We Muslims invented it.

Malik: Yeah right. And you read that on Wikipedia?

Bakra Khan: No. My Imam told me.

While eating Nachos and screaming like a little girl -

Malik: And there you have it. Germany kicks-ass number 1.

Bakra Khan: Your team has performed black magic! There are marks all over the place! This is cheating!

Malik: What? No! How can you tell?

Bakra Khan: Look at the color of their kits. It is black. And how possibly can some team score a goal in 3 minutes?

Malik: La haula wala quwwat. You're the most illogical man i know!

Bakra Khan: Oh shut up! You have NO answers to my most insightful, illuminating and in-depth questions!

After the second goal -

Bakra Khan: NOOOOO! Foul! Cheating! Offside! Do something you stupid ref!

Malik: Calm down man. Allah has ordained believers to show restraint.

Bakra Khan: Don't tell me what Allah has said! My Imam said he'll pray for my team and he obviously didn't!

Malik: Whistles in amazement

After the third goal -

Bakra Khan: I don't need to watch this. This is an infidel sport.

Malik: Just because you're losing this is an infidel sport?

Bakra Khan: Prove me wrong. Only Kaafirs play in this sport.

Malik: So according to you, the players of Lyari Football Club are all infidels and wajib-ul-qatal?

Bakra Khan: Yes.

Malik: Your son's the captain of Lyari FC you moron!

Bakra Khan: Stupid idiot! I told him not to hang out with these yo football playing idiots! They'll get him killed! I even told him to go spend his vacation with his uncle Maulana Radio!

Malik:You honestly think the Taliban are going to save your kid, and playing football will get him killed?

Bakra Khan: Yes.

Malik: Shakes head.

Almost the end of the match, last goal -

Malik: Well there you have it Bakray. Looks like you ONLY support losing teams.

Bakra Khan: My team lost because it had black magic performed on it!

Malik (while grabbing nachos off the plate): Yeah well -

Bakra Khan: How dare you touch me food you yahoodi apostate! You've ruined my food! Now i'll have to amputate my arm because i touched the same food as you!

Malik: And pray tell, why am i an apostate this time around?

Bakra Khan: Because you watched nudity. Nudity is forbidden in Islam!

Malik: What? No! I was sitting here with you the whole time!

Bakra Khan: Yes.

Malik: Then?

You saw naked legs of men playing an infidel sport.

Malik: You've got to be kidding me.

Bakra Khan: When i'm in the mood of "kidding" son, some kid always pops out.

Malik: Yeah but you saw those same naked legs too! You're an apostate too!

Bakra Khan: No i'm not.

Malik: Because your Imam said so?

Bakra Khan: No because Allah has said all mistakes made by true believers are always forgiven.

Malik: Yeah right, and that's why your team always loses.

Bakra Khan throws his Nachos plate at Malik, who ducks and runs for cover.

The end.

Bakra Khan – Episode 3

The FIA lock up in Anarkali, Lahore.

Bakra Khan: Jailer! I need naswar.

Jailer: Prisoners aren’t privileged to have naswar.

Bakra Khan: But I have something to offer you!

Jailer: Unless it’s a red note, you’re wasting your time. I don’t settle for purple, and green is just the wrong colour.

Bakra Khan: Astagfirullah! I am not bribing you!

Jailer: Then I doubt you’ve got anything of interest to offer me.

Bakra Khan: How about I offer you heaven?

Jailer: May God make a real goat piss in your mouth! Heaven?! I haven’t even been married yet!

Bakra Khan (smugly): Yes but in heaven you won’t have to be married. And you’ll still have 70 fairies. Think about it, I can make it happen. I’ve got the right connections if you know what I mean.

Jailer: Are you offering o recruit me to your terror organization you big ugly stinking goat?!

Bakra Khan: Hey! I meant my Imam knows some wazeefay which I can give you for free you douche bag! And don’t you dare get personal with me! Allah made me this way, and Allah made you that way!

Jailer: Yes! And that is precisely why I am on this side of the bars, and you are on THAT side! Now shut up and let me read my monthly risala.

A little later -

Bakra Khan: Jailer!

Jailer: What now?

Bakra Khan: I need to pee.

Jailer: So pee.

Bakra Khan: I need to go to the bathroom.

Jailer: You see that steel bowl in the corner?

Bakra Khan: Yeah?

Jailer: That’s your bathroom. Now go pee in it.

Bakra Khan looks around, sees the other inmates, then looks at the pee bowl, then the jailer -

Bakra Khan: Please tell Mr. FIA Agent I am ready to talk to him now.

Bakra Khan as soon as the FIA Agent walks in -

Bakra Khan: Let me out of here! In the name of Allah! The most Beneficent, The most Kind! Let me out and 

I will ask my Imam to pray for your sins! You will get 70 fairies like I will!

FIA Agent: Oye Bakray, shut up. The Boss will see you now.

Bakra Khan: Where are you taking me?!

FIA Agent: To the debriefing room.

Bakra Khan: Let me – wow. MashaAllah… SubhanAllah… InshaAllah!

Bashiran Mai: Hello Mr. Khan. My name is Bashiran Mai.

Bakra Khan: What an honor to meet you, I am so pleased to meet you, did I tell you how happy I am to meet 

you?

Bashiran Mai: Yes. I believe you told me that three times. Anyway, you are here because we have reason to believe you have possible extremist links.

Bakra Khan: Now that’s outrageous! I am a modern liberal!

Bashiran Mai: You sure? Because we have a Mr. Malik who has filed charges against you.

Bakra Khan: He’s obviously lying. He’s very jealous of me because I’m a man and he’s an in-between. He’s 

a big fundamentalist himself. I even told him I drink alcohol! I can’t get more modern then that now can I?

Bashiran Mai: No. I suppose not.

Bakra Khan: You suppose right. Not only are you beautiful, but you are also very intelligent. NATURE, if I may say so, has bestowed you with gifts.

Bashiran Mai: Yes thank you Mr. Khan. Now what is this thing you’re building?

Bakra Khan: Who told you about that?

Bashiran Mai: Your wife?

Bakra Khan: The b*****. It’s a time machine.

Bashiran Mai: First of all, cursing your wife is haram in Islam. And second, I beg your pardon?

Bakra Khan: First, she’s my wife so shut the eff up. See? I said eff. No real Muslim would say the eff word 

because that would guarantee their place in hell. And second, pardoned. It’s a time machine.

Bashiran Mai: And why are you building it?

Bakra Khan: So you and me can go take a spin in it baby doll *wink*.

Bashiran Mai: Stop flirting with me Mr. Khan.

FIA Agent: We have a situation. Geo - broadcasting live.

Bashiran Mai: How did they get here through the rush of Anarkali?! And I especially ordered the halwai to 

mix laxative in all the halwa he distributes amongst the reporters!

FIA Agent (tentatively): 8 o’clock, markets closed.

Bashiran Mai: Damn this government! Alright, escort this ignorant fool out of here and let him go.

Bakra Khan while strutting towards the exit -

Bakra Khan (to the FIA agent): That my friend, was fairy number 1. 69 more to go.

Addressing the public and reporters gathered outside

Bakra Khan: They are the devil's emissaries! They were trying to perform black magic on me!

Reporter: What else did they do to you?

Bakra Khan: They tempted me with Shabab, Kebab and Sharab! Astagfirullah!

Reporter: Why did they pick you up?

Bakra Khan: It is no doubt a conspiracy of the Qadiyanis. They want to capture the design of my thing.

Reporter: Your what?!

Bakra Khan: Thing. The thing I’m building which will make every human a Muslim you fahashi maa ki aulad! 

Yahood parast janwar!

Geo Reporter: Geo once again saves an innocent –

Bakra Khan: Geo is a channel of the Freemasons! You are Zionists! We will wipe your face of the map! We 

will make Minar-e-Pakistan in Tel Aviv! You Hindu Zionists! You deserve death! Die, die, die, Allah Mian 

curse them! Make them die, die, die! Geo should die, die, die! Shut up and bounce, bounce, bounce!

Geo Reporter: And so once again, the day is saved. Thanks to Geo TV. Bakra khan is so happy, he is singing and dancing in the streets of Anarkali!

Bakra Khan – Episode 2

Bushra Khanum (wife of Bakra Khan): Bakraaaaaaaaayyyyy! There are some men here to see you!

Bakra Khan: Tell them I’m busy.

A little pause –

Bushra Khanum: They insist on seeing you. What in God’s name are you doing?

Bakra Khan: I’m building a thing.

Bushra Khanum : What thing?

Bakra Khan: A thing that will make every human on this earth Muslim.

Bushra Khanum (kindly): Sweety, there already is a thing for that. It’s called a bomb.

Bakra Khan: Yes but this is different.

Bushra Khanum: I’m listening.

Bakra Khan (angrily): I don’t need you to listen you stupid woman! Go tell those men to go away. Or better, tell them to go to the mosque and do ablution. Who knows when they might die.

Bushra Khanum: Allah knows. And besides, why can’t they do ablution here?

Bakra Khan (sheepishly): Because I spat my naswari phlegm in the sink.

Bushra Khanum: You sick man. Fine. I’ll tell them.

A little pause –

Bushra Khanum (yells): Bakraaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! They say they’re from the government!

Bakra Khan (pissed): Does that make them think they’re more knowledgeable than Allah?!  Stupid men think they don’t need ablution. Fine, tell them I’m coming.

FIA Agent: Are you Mr. Bakra Khan?

Bakra Khan: No, I am Mr Pir Saweer Bhainsri.

FIA Agent: This isn’t funny. We’re not funny. And the matter at hand is most certainly, not at all funny.

Bakra Khan (seriously): Why? Did some rooster lay some egg somewhere?

FIA Agent: Don’t try to be funny Bakra Khan, we know all about you.

Bakra Khan: Really? What’s my par-dadi’s name?

FIA Agent: Haseena Shahzadi Sarkozai.

Bakra Khan: Wow, you do know all about me. Now what can I do for you?

FIA Agent: For starters, tell us why you went to State University New York after graduating from a Madrassa?

Bakra Khan: Because they offered me a grant?

FIA Agent: No, the real reason.

Bakra Khan: That is the real reason.

FIA Agent: No it isn’t it.

Bakra Khan: Oh yes it is.

FIA Agent: We know –

Bakra Khan: Yes, yes you know all about me so skip the crap. What do you want?

FIA Agent: Back off.

Bakra Khan: Back what? Did you mean to say the eff word to me? How dare you, you Mossad agents in the land of Allah! I will kill you!

FIA Agent: Control we have confirmation on target, we are go to proceed.

Control: Take him in.

FIA Agent: Mr. Bakra, please come with us.

Bakra Khan (In fury): NOOOO! You yahoodi jasoosi maa ki aulad! I will not let you desecrate the sanctity of my house! Khanum Janummmmmm!!! They’re taking me! Call the police! CALL GEOOO!

Bushra Khanum (confused): But you said Geo’s a station of the Freemasons!

Bakra Khan: I don’t care! Just call them and get me the hell out of wherever these men are taking me!

Bakra Khan - Episode 1

Malik: What is death?

Bakra Khan: Death is the art of meeting the artist.

Malik: But if the artist does art, why would he want his art to disappear forever?

Bakra Khan: Ah, but you see the art never disappear; it lingers on.

Malik: So why’s death called death then? Doesn’t it mean the end of the end?

Bakra Khan (slightly pissed now): You moron educated with infidel knowledge. The spirit lives on.

Malik: What has spirit got to do with death, when death is death in absolute sense?

Bakra Khan: It’s got nothing to do with that. Like I said, it is an art of meeting the artist.

Malik: So you’re looking forward to meeting the artist then?

Bakra Khan: Um, yeah , well no. Not really…

Malik: So anyway, why’s it called an art when art is beauty and death is well, death?

Bakra Khan: To understand that you must understand Islam.

Malik: What has Islam got to do with art? Doesn’t Islam say art is prohibited?

Bakra Khan (really pissed now): Yes. No. I don’t know! Stop confusing me with your infidel bullshit!

Malik: Haw. Bullshit is a haram word. Didn't they teach you that at the Madrassa? You will goto hell now.

Bakra Khan: Listen mista, you don't question your religion, and you most certainly don't tell me about it. I am all knowing about religion.

Malik (confused): I thought only Allah was All-Knowing?

Bakra Khan: Yes. And after Him, the Prophet (PBUH) is All-Knowing, and after him, the four caliphs, and then my Imam, and then me. So if i say you're an infidel, then it means i have the full weight of Islam behind me.

Malik: Really? Just because I question my faith I become an infidel? 

Bakra Khan: Yes!

Malik: No doubt you learnt that from the Holy Book?

Bakra Khan: No. My Imam told me.

Malik: So your Imam knows the Holy Book?

Bakra Khan (rolls eyes): Yes.

Malik: So why does your Imam have Islamic art paintings hanging in the Mosque? Is he an undercover CIA agent?

Bakra Khan: How dare you! You infidel! You are wajib-ul-katal!

Malik: And no doubt Islam tells you that too?

Bakra Khan: No! Yes! I don’t know! But it is the right way according to Islam!

Malik: Why’re you being so hyper?

Bakra Khan:  I was feeling uneasy so I had alcohol. But only because Islam says you can have it when you’re feeling uneasy!

Malik: Really? And I believe your Imam is behind this interpretation as well?

Bakra Khan: No, not really… I like alcohol… Astagfirullah, Astagfirullah, Astagfirullah! You apostate! Look what you made me say!

Malik: Chillax man. Why is Islam so confusing? I’m confused.

Bakra Khan:  Islam is not confusing! It is you apostate people who have made it confusing! Islam is pure and easy.

Malik: No doubt, but I’m not the one who consumes alcohol.

Bakra Khan:  Enough! You are wajib-ul-katal! Run away before I incite the people to stone you to death.

Malik: Jesus. What the hell’s wrong with you man?

Bakra Khan: JESUS?!? Are you a Pakistani or not?! How dare you say Paadrees euphemisms in this citadel of Islam?!?

Malik (whistles in amazement): That was just a figure of speech. But I’ll go away now.

Bakra Khan: You do that. And I’ll go find dettol to wash my hands because I shook hands with an apostate.

Malik: One last question, aren’t you also an apostate by association now that you’ve spent time with an original “apostate”?

Bakra Khan throws his vodka bottle at Malik with full force who ducks and runs for cover.

The end.