October 16, 2010

The brother judge dudes

The Supreme Court of Pakistan. Home of the latest Tom
and Jerry series. (Photo: Dawn.com)
The Judges of Pakistan are always in a queer state of mind, and since they feel left out and alone (while always being stuck in a quandary), they end up ruining every man’s day in this country. You turn on the TV and you hear that the judges are learning kung fu, and then you change the channel and you find out now they’re teaching simple English to learned lawyers. A couple of days ago, a furor was seen at the Supreme Court where all the brother judges decided that it was time to perform the flying kick and show everyone who’s in charge.

Come on Judge dudes, give us all a break. We’re sick of your pantomimes because they’ve gone on for far too long. Every time Zardari opens his mouth to eat, you declare it illegal, and then every time he decides to close it, you declare even that illegal. When you ask the government to disband itself because it was an NRO beneficiary, they throw up their arms, and waddle around like bemused chickens ‘coz there’s no way someone will willingly fire himself; or is there? But regardless, that’s what our famed judges want.

The judges are assumed to be the morally superior and sensible lot. I’m afraid fickle is the word that should be applied to the Pakistani judges. They are sanguine in a not so subtle way and that creates messy problems. Only yesterday the judges decided that they are demigods and any move to replace them will be termed a violation of the Constitution. Why the crazed genesis judge dudes? Oh well, they probably forgot that the country would eat Zardari and Gilani if such a thing ever came to pass, but our judges had to prove that they’re the mafia kingpins in this shoddy world of Pakistani politics.

I’m afraid we’ve reached an impasse where the judges have stooped to a level that would befit a senile person. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against them or anything. It’s just that passing verdicts on issues that aren’t really issues is getting to my head, and ruining my life. They’ve engaged the government in a cat and mouse game, where the government is the mouse and the judges are the cats, and consequently the government is in a conundrum. It can neither fix the public’s problems because well they don’t know if the brother judge dudes will even let it stay, and it can’t do what the judge dudes want because they explicitly want it to fire itself.

This is the state of Pakistan, where non-issues hold high importance. In case of the NRO, the Supreme Court should finally have the balls to pass a motion directing relevant authorities to re-open cases against the 8000 beneficiaries. In the case of Zardari, even though I’m not a constitutional expert, but he has the immunity of a head of state and the SC should give it a rest till he’s out of office. As for the rumored notification to take back the executive order declaring the Judges restored, the judge dudes ought to smoothen their ruffled feathers and stop worrying like a pussy cat; nothing’s going to happen.

Till the next Tom and Jerry is aired outside the Supreme Court of Pakistan, it’s time for me to sign out.

Ciao amigos.