The Tales From Pakistan

There is so much going on in Pakistan and there is so much to write about that one is quite overwhelmed by the whole hoopla. Yours truly is a victim of this quandary, and consequently I find it hard to isolate one incident from another to comment upon.

For example, in this land of the self professed and fabled good-Samaritans, there exist bigoted idiots such as Ijaz Butt, who is inherently incapable of spelling his own name. News has it that once again the Senate committee on sports has demanded his resignation, and this time they will send a request to the President and ask him "to do something about Ijaz Butt". As the going goes, they have also demanded that being a democratic head of a democratic country, he should remove Ijaz Butt forthwith and appoint a new Chairman of the PCB in his place.

Paindoo Saala. (Source: Dawn.com)

Well gentlemen, if democracy isn't a farce and you all are not merely role-playing, pray tell why in God's name should Asif Zardari have the power to nominate/appoint PCB Chairmen? I thought the PCB had its own constitution and was entitled to follow it. Of course it is not just Ijaz Butt who is to blame, but the utterly stupid and spineless henchmen that he has surrounding him that probably feed him with chicken wings which makes him think he is indestructible.

A while back I watched Ijaz Butt's interview on Dawn News with Wajahat S. Khan and the only thing that registered with me was: I've never seen a more greedy, self-centered, self seeking, egotistical bastard in my whole life.

You just have to listen to his "I am the Chairman, I can do whatever I please" bullshit to know that the guy was probably born in a Nazi gas chamber while they were gassing donkeys. I have never seen a more stupid man in my life.

Looks like she just got off smoking pot.
(Source: Dawn.com)

Which brings me to the most stupidest woman that I have ever seen. In fact, if there ever was a competition to identify the most belligerent idiotic person in Pakistan, I would be hard pressed to make a decision amongst these two. Yes indeed, I am talking about Fauzia Wahab. Miss Wahab has struck back with venomous vengeance on a news report appearing in Dawn which proclaimed the humanitarian wings of both PPP and PML-N were missing from the flood relief activities.

According to Miss Oxymoron, the PML-N govt. in collusion with the PPP cadres have been delivering relief goods across the length and breadth of Punjab. She also mentioned that the PPP leadership in Sindh hardly sits still on their asses long enough to let the common man kick them to hell.

The thing is though, the PPP is the government. It is supposed to help the people. It is not an option for them, it is a duty and right now even with Miss Wahab's vehement glorification of her political party, we are witnessing great dereliction of duty on the part of PPP.

The other important thing of course was that the news report talked about the humanitarian wings of the PPP and PML-N and NOT the government and its stooges.

Honestly, it appears Fauzia Wahab graduated from Tulumba High School to be so dumb and screwed in the head. I know I'm biased against her and to a great extent, but well, what're you gonna do?

Sehri is over and sleep beckons. But I'll let you know before I go that an international comedy/sci-fi/action/thriller/spy thriller/suspense/horror (basically all genres rolled into one) blockbuster can be created here in Pakistan without any cost at all. You already have the sets in the Parliament; the main actors in Asif Zardari, Fauzia Wahab and Ijaz Butt; the constipated gay man in Nawaz Sharif, and the extras in the Chaudhrys. What more can one hope for? Stellar cast, stellar movie.

Let's see how long they take to make it.